Getting Honest...

Hello Everyone. Welcome to my blog. I've figured that the only way that I'm going to have any success with this blog, and my lifestyle change, is to be TOTALLY HONEST - and that is what I plan to do here.

I've had to finally come to the realization that losing this weight is all UP TO ME. I have been making excuse after excuse about why I have continued to start and fail in my weightloss journey, with thinking that includes...

• Heaviness in my genes - all the women in my family get fat as they get older. (And most of them also overeat, eat the wrong things, and do NOTHING for exercise - just like me. It's not all genes, it's actions and consequences.)
• Others can eat a lot (including sugar and excessibe carbage) and stay thin, why can't I? (I've noticed that, when I'm REALLY honest with myself, others don't eat nearly as much as I do - or as much junk as me.)
• If I just eat in moderation, I should be able to eat everything I want (As a compulsive overeater and carb addict - not possible for me. I totally overeat, eat when I'm not hungry, eat when I'm bored, eat cause others are eating, eat when I'm happy, eat when I'm sad...you get the picture...)
• If only others (my husband, mom, etc.) could love and support me more, I could do this. (The only person's support I can always have control over having is my own.)
• This is too hard - it shouldn't take all of this to lose weight. (If it were 'easy', 60% of people wouldn't be overweight. It takes work and diligence to lose and maintain weightloss - not just for ME (victim mentality), but for everyone on this journey).
• I can work really hard until this date/goal weight, and then moderately add carbage back in (NOT! - the diet mentality and insanity (doing the same thing and expecting different results) that has had me yo-yoing for the past 13+ years with my weight)
• Once I learn how to deal with the death of my father (2004), I can get my weight under control. (I may have unresolved issues/ lingering grief concerning my father, but I can work on them together - the key is to work on it, and not just talk about it our use it as a crutch.
• I've already messed up today/this meal/this week/this year...I'll start over next meal/ next week/ next year (I have to make up my mind to start right now and keep going - always)
• I don't have to be prepared - I can figure out my next meal as it comes (When ever I am not prepared, especially at work, I always set myself up for cheats).
• If I eat the wrong thing, I can just resort to ED behavior to fix it (besides being totally UNHEALTHY, it is completly (for me) irresponsible and full of excuses - I'm always trying to find a 'get out of jail' free card. I need to learn to live with my choices and learn to make the RIGHT choices. )
• Even if I lose this weight and get healthy, I still won't be lovable/accepted/perfect, so why try? ( I have to learn to be ok with who I am now, and know that I'm only getting better).

These are some of my truths, and mindsets that I am changing. The truth IS setting me free!

Love and blessings ....