IM back in controll of my eating I was on such a long stall for so long . Finding this site has giving me the tool i need to be accountable . Im on my way to my goal and i know I will get there.Its amazing how much support I have gotten from ppl here and I want to be able to give as much support back.

afraid to take a chanceon love becaue of my own securities Posted 05-18-2008 at 10:19 AM by magickal1 LOVE IS SO COMPLICATED WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENUFF OR SCARED THAT YOU MAY NOT LOOK GOOD. i HAVE SOMEONE THAT ID INTERESTED IN ME BUT i CAN NOT ALLOW MYSELF TO LET THAT PERSON IN MY WORLD CUZ I FEEL LIKE IM NOT GOOD ENUFF . i THINK THIS WEIGHT MAKES IT SO HARD TO ALLOW UR SELF TO FEEL CONFIDENT IN UR SELF OR WORTHY TO BE WITH SOME ONE AT THE SAME TIME IM TIRED OF BEING ALONE i WANT THIS TO BE RIGHT , BUT IM SCARED IN SO MANY WAYS CUZ OF THE WEIGHT , i WISH I DIDNT HAVE THIS OBSTACLE IN MY WAY, BUT THE FACT IS I do !!! lonely is so hard and to want to be loved for me seems... Continue reading... magickal1 Senior LCF Member

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starting to feel discouraged!!!!!! Posted 05-09-2008 at 12:55 PM by magickal1 I feel like I am doing something wrong I want the scale to move so much faster than it is and I know it takes time but i really am over the fact that I am fat grrrI want to be asured ill lose a certain amount every week and thats just not how it works , but why cant it ? I mean if i cheat it takes me a week to get back to losing again and just isnt fair.Yes im ranting and raving cuz I need to get this out I try so hard I eat so well and my only vice is my coffee i cut down to once a day. I really dont want to give it up and its like the hardest thing to give up, but in the back of my mind... Continue reading... magickal1 Senior LCF Member

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I hate being fat!!!!!! Posted 04-24-2008 at 05:55 PM by magickal1 I hate being fat!!!!Im fighting off the urge to sabatage my plan....Im sitting here not really hungry at all just knowing I want something sweet, so I am almost miserable hopin it will pass.I feel like im in prison and captive by my own body. I am hoping that Im writing the way I feel will change my mind, and I will make it thru the nite with a cheat free day..I think about how far I have come and how badly I want to reach my goal but even tho I know this Its still there, the want to reach out and have some awefull high carb sweet..I feel food is my drug addtiction and my drug dealer is on every... Continue reading... magickal1 Senior LCF Member

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Working the plan is working>> Posted 04-23-2008 at 06:41 PM by magickal1 Working the plan, definatly works. I am so happy that I am losing once again and starting to see results. I am confident I will reach goal this year I got me a calander and marked my 10 days on stillman and my 2 days on atkins, planning on recording my stats so I can have some data to look at . I feel like im able to controll my eating and im more in controll of my life, its such a great feelin to be able to go to sleep each nite knowing i succeeded another day. Being over weight most my life I have missed out on so much, I just dont want to waste no more time missin out on life, thats what... Continue reading... magickal1 Senior LCF Member

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A month on stillmans!!!!!! Posted 04-20-2008 at 04:12 PM by magickal1 I have made it thru a month of stillmans, I have to say it is the best decision I made to break a stall .I learned several things thru out this month which I will list what changes took place at the end . First let me explain I suffer from sever mood swings and sever depression I am a rapid cycler meaning I cycle thru out the day with very high highs and very low lows.I have been giving very strong drugs to induce sleep at nite in which none has never helped, I would have no energy thru out the day and never wanted to go no where I was in my own prison .I have known along time that carbs are liek... Continue reading... magickal1 Senior LCF Member

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