IM back in controll of my eating I was on such a long stall for so long . Finding this site has giving me the tool i need to be accountable . Im on my way to my goal and i know I will get there.Its amazing how much support I have gotten from ppl here and I want to be able to give as much support back.
afraid to take a chanceon love becaue of my own securities
Posted 05-18-2008 at 10:19 AM by magickal1
LOVE IS SO COMPLICATED WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENUFF OR SCARED THAT YOU MAY NOT LOOK GOOD. i HAVE SOMEONE THAT ID INTERESTED IN ME BUT i CAN NOT ALLOW MYSELF TO LET THAT PERSON IN MY WORLD CUZ I FEEL LIKE IM NOT GOOD ENUFF . i THINK THIS WEIGHT MAKES IT SO HARD TO ALLOW UR SELF TO FEEL CONFIDENT IN UR SELF OR WORTHY TO BE WITH SOME ONE AT THE SAME TIME IM TIRED OF BEING ALONE i WANT THIS TO BE RIGHT , BUT IM SCARED IN SO MANY WAYS CUZ OF THE WEIGHT , i WISH I DIDNT HAVE THIS OBSTACLE IN MY WAY, BUT THE FACT IS I do !!! lonely is so hard and to want to be loved for me seems impossible , like if i could only be a size 10 I could have the courage to let this person in my life , but im scared and i know I will not... I carry this with me every day and so many chances has pased me by , and im afraid i will push this man away cuz of it. this is just me telling my story , wondering how many others feel like this trapped in a body that aloowed for no love no compainionship , imprisoned from the fat that surrounds me , the feeling of not being good enuff !!! I ope one day i will be brave enuff and that size to allow myself that joy that love in my life, one day i know will come , but at the same time i have a wall that i cannot break down to allow for some one to touch me..... just my feelings nothing else a way to read how i feel and to read it and see it for this is where i am imprisoned 
Total Comments 2
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Hi Magickal, I love your blog!
 I have felt the same way too and know what you're going through!! I hope you never give up on finding love because I thought I would never find it, but I have been blessed with a wonderful man. I know when the right person comes along, you will know it and he will know it! He will see how beautiful, sensitive and sincere you are. He will see you from the inside, no mater what you look like. He'll love you for who are and will make you happy. This man will be be the love of your life, he will treat you like you're the only one in the world. He will always tell you how beautiful you look, and how much he loves you. He will treat you like a Queen and never hurt you or make you feel bad. This man is waiting for you and you will find him! Love Ya Pretty Lady!!! |
Posted 05-19-2008 at 10:05 AM by Determinedtolose
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diana - ty so much u are the swetest person and i hope one day u are right >>>.....hugs to u
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Posted 05-19-2008 at 10:33 AM by magickal1
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Recent Blog Entries by magickal1
- afraid to take a chanceon love becaue of my own securities (05-18-2008)
- starting to feel discouraged!!!!!! (05-09-2008)
- I hate being fat!!!!!! (04-24-2008)
- Working the plan is working>> (04-23-2008)
- A month on stillmans!!!!!! (04-20-2008)
