Changes.....

I have always been one to embrace change...i love it.....it's exciting....it's challenging....it's motivating. So why then do i find myself realizing that this change for weight loss to be so elusive? I was at curves this morning and albeit the mirror they have there is not very flattering.....i guess it's not meant to be....but i just don't look the way i see myself. I am reminded of a Jerry Springer program i saw once where this woman was well over 400 lbs and said she liked herself, said she didn't feel fat and couldn't see herself that way. Well the audience and Springer were all dumbfounded. They berated her and brought her to tears. At the time I didn't understand how she couldn't know but i did sympathize with her. guess i now understand. I don't feel as big as I look. I don't see myself as the mirror portrays me. It made me work harder today tho....i got a good workout in and i pushed myself a bit. I need to get back to riding my bike....5 am is too dark now so I will have to rely on riding it at night when i get home..if i can get home at a decent hour..it will start getting dark here around 5 pm soon too. I'll have to look for a trainer for the bike so i can ride it at home. Well i think the important thing for today is that i didn't let the image get me down. I got more determined, which is good. Can't wait for the day when the person i see in my mind actually materializes!! Will be good to see her.