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My first blog adventure.
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YOU: Solving the Mystery of Weight Loss

Posted 02-11-2008 at 12:04 AM by jezzie
Disclaimer: Results promised not typical of any dieters heretofore

13 Easy-to-Follow rules for painless weight loss:

* Use Magic Metabolism Enhancer supplements ABC and XYZ

* 44 minutes before meals drink 1 tbs. of saguaro cactus juice

* fat gram formula: = neck size, X three, divided by shoe size

* Brush tongue four times a day with sesame butter

* Rinse mouth with almond oil and pineapple juice;

* Wet brush belly skin at least three times a day

* Use pork chop grease and white wine vinegar on all salads

* Minimum of two servings of rice with 'magic' coating

* Maximum of one-half serving of 'miracle' mushrooms

* Maximum of two servings of pudding that eats itself

* Drink purple tea every Wednesday/Saturday 22 min. after lunch

* Eat 19 yellow raisins each month by the light of the full moon

* Soak feet in virgin snake oil and coral magnesium every night


**I'll be selling all of the above from the back of my wagon.

(Plus a free sample of my secret magic elixir tonic for halitosis
and the latest issue of ~Sheep Life~ weekly magazine
featuring the incomparable < drum roll > "Diet-of-the-Day"
)

Copyrite: ~jezzie 'the Terrific Traveling Tonic Lady'

Total Comments 7

Comments

Old
jezzie's Avatar
Forgot my Quote of the Day:

Quote:
If nature had intended our skeletons to be visible

it would have put them on the outside of our bodies.


- Elmer Rice
Posted 02-13-2008 at 05:29 AM by jezzie jezzie is offline
Old
jezzie's Avatar
Where have all the people with common sense gone?
Don't they know we need them?

* Diet Fanatics: Low Fat
If you eat those egg yolks and that butter you will die of a heart attack.

* Diet Fanatics: Low Carb
If you eat that old fashioned oatmeal cr*p you will get terrible cravings.
(All in-crowd members are required to use the word cr*p liberally.)

* Diet Fanatics: Whole Food
If you eat non-organic vegetables you will be plagued with illness.

Quote:
Where have all the gentle giants gone
Don't they know we need them?
- Rod McKuen
Posted 02-19-2008 at 04:11 AM by jezzie jezzie is offline
Old
jezzie's Avatar
Succeeding at weight loss

There are a lot of different diets out there, and no particular plan is right for everyone.

Regardless of what diet might be in vogue this week, you'll be more successful if you choose an approach that fits your lifestyle and food preferences and is appropriate for any health concerns you have.

For example, vegetarians might find a lower-fat diet easier to follow than a lower-carb regimen. People with or at risk for diabetes may do better on a carb-controlled diet.

Although there can be big differences between various approaches to weight loss, all effective weight-loss programs incorporate the same basic principles.

Basic principles for successful weight loss
1. Reduce your total caloric intake.
2. Maintain or increase your metabolic rate.
3. Correct bad eating habits.
4. Avoid getting too hungry.
5. Record everything you eat.
6. Maintain or improve your health.
.
Posted 02-27-2008 at 02:43 AM by jezzie jezzie is offline
Old
jezzie's Avatar
And the fanantics on either side blindly follow their Pipers into the darkness of the Cave.


While the inhabitants were in church, he played his pipe again, this time attracting the children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, where they were lured into a cave and never seen again.
Posted 03-07-2008 at 01:19 AM by jezzie jezzie is offline
Old
jezzie's Avatar
I fell off the wagon. What exactly does that mean?

"It's wasn't my choice. It was an accident. I'm not responsible.
I tripped and accidentally my face fell into a chocolate cream pie."



A thread reminded me of that expression which absolves all accountability.

After all a person can only fall if they have an accident or someone pushes them.

R I I I G H T
Posted 03-07-2008 at 10:25 AM by jezzie jezzie is offline
Old
jezzie's Avatar
1. Forget About Diets

If diets are not the solution, what is then? Proper nutrition, and we’ll cover this on the next principle.

2. Proper Nutrition

If you want to keep your weight and fat percentage under control, you will need to learn the basics of nutrition. Once you learn them, you will be able to eat healthy throughout the year.

Buy a nutrition book on some library and read it. At the very minimum you want to know how your body works, what sources of energy it uses, what are the roles of proteins, carbohydrates, fats, minerals and vitamins.

Needless to say that if you are trying to lose weight you will need to have a caloric deficit in place. That is, you will need to eat less calories than what your body needs to keep his weight.

3. Physical Exercise

Eating healthy and having a caloric deficit will only take you half the way. The other key factor is physical exercise.

Low intensity cardio is the corner stone of any weight loss program. That is because the higher the intensity of the exercise, the lower the amount of free fat acids in your bloodstream (free fat acids come from your stored fat through the lipolysis process, and they are burned for energy).

There are many of them, from walking to swimming and riding a bicycle; just find something that you like to do.

4. Discipline and Perseverance

You can start eating healthy and exercising properly, but unless you stick doing it regularly, the results won’t appear (if they do, they won’t last).
Posted 03-13-2008 at 02:02 AM by jezzie jezzie is offline
Old
jezzie's Avatar
I see we have a new one. ... Egg creams.

Add it to gargling with snake oil, a magical form of calcium,
miracle salt soaks, and ... the dozen HB eggs trick.

I have an idea.
Maybe? ..... eat less, ..... move more ..... and stick to it?
Nah. How silly of me. That would never fly.
.
Posted 04-23-2008 at 07:29 AM by jezzie jezzie is offline
Updated 04-23-2008 at 07:30 AM by jezzie
 
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