Here We Go Again...

It's July 5, 2008, and after a bad 5 weeks, I find myself with 10 pounds to lose (weight 146.8) to get back to my goal. It's very depressing, and yo-yoing seems to be my middle name, but I simply HAVE to keep trying!

I don't do well with major changes to my routine, and when school let out, we started going to the pool a lot, which threw my routine into a tail-spin and the eating promptly followed suit. I also found out that Mark will lose his job (for the second time since 9/11) sometime next year. But now, it's time to get back in control before too much "damage" is done.

My plan for today:

Food:

10 oz grilled sirloin, topped with 2 TBL butter
9 oz green beans, roasted in olive oil and spices until crispy (Elle's French Fries)
2 TBL Heinz SF ketchup
Small cesar salad with 2 TBL dressing and 1 TBL parm cheese
Up to 1 C of cream, whipped, for dessert, drizzled with Walden's Farms SF Chocolate syrup

2152 Cals, 177g fat/95g prot/30g total carb; 78% fat/19% prot/4% carb

I'm not hungry at all today, so I plan to prepare this meal for dinner and eat as much of it as I need to feel satisfied. If I eat it all, that's fine, if there's any left, I'll save it for lunch tomorrow.

The first few days are the hardest. I'm planning a lot of food, to try to keep the cravings at bay. Plus, I'm going to eat the most food I possibly can and still lose, and this is my starting point of reference. I'm not in a hurry to drop the weight--my clothes still fit (albeit snugly) and I'm still fairly comfortable in my swimsuit around the pool.

It's more important for me to feel satisfied and stay on plan and get back in control right now.

My plan is to try to make just ONE meal a day, at dinner, and eat the leftovers for lunch the next day. I want to get better about planning NICE meals, and I already have a list of 8 days set up.

I was going to try to start walking again, but last week my chiropractor noticed that I have Baker's Cysts behind my knees. I'm not doing *anything* that may aggravate it.

Oh well, I hate exercise anyway!

Maybe I can just focus on stretching and strength.

We leave for FL on July 15. I hope to get off some of this lardage in the 10 days before then and get back in control and start feeling better. Mark says I'm snoring like a log-mill, something I don't do unless I'm eating carbs and I feel like absolute crap all the time now.

Hopefully this "new" system will help me get excited about being on plan again. ADD really sucks. Just when something starts going well and is working...I get bored and nothing, not even pain of death, will keep me interested in something once that boredom hits. I have to make a change to stimulate new interest in it.

It's the same with my housework! I used to have a cleaning routine, and for the first 3 weeks it was GREAT to be doing about 45 minutes of housework a day and have a pretty clean house. But then, on the Monday of that 4th week, I was like, "What? Again? I just did this." And I quit doing housework for a while. I discovered that if I make changes to my routine, I will get interested in it again. The change can be something simple, like, instead of doing certain chores on certain days, I'll switch to doing rooms in a certain order each week, until I get bored with that

It's very weird to crave change so badly, yet respond so badly to (major) change!