Passing away of father/Earthquakes/Cheating, lying scumbag boyfriend

Hi!

I didnt have much time yesterday, but im going to explain to you all (and be honest to myself) about how I got this BIG and what changes to my life im going to make to work thru it all (and get rid of some of the emotional issues that I still have lurking about inside )

So, basically, last year was CARP. My father got diagnosed with cancer, after being ill for months, and my son and I moved to Folkestone, which is a seaside town in Kent, UK to be nearer him and to give us a better quality of life and to live away from the rat race. I rented a top floor apartment directly opposite the seafront, it had fantastic seaviews - at night, you could see the lights in France twinkling, and we spent 5 months there very happily. I was dating a guy I had met on a dating website and we were getting on famously - my son and I had been to stay on the navy base where he was stationed and he had dropped hints about us moving closer to him in Devon.

Then - HELL BROKE LOOSE

My father died - he got pneumonia, and I guess the end came quickly and fairly painfree for him - which was, as they say, a blessing....im crying as I type this - I miss him so much...he was such a terrific dad and an awesome grandad to my son......I love you dad

THEN - just weeks later while we are still reeling from losing my dad - We had an EARTHQUAKE!!!! YES!!! In the little town of Folkestone we had a 4.5 on the richter scale. It started in the English Channel - and my flat being on the seafront got hit first. I will never forget that day - my son and I were in my bedroom - I was sorting thru my handbag when the air started "shimmering", there was a tremendous rumble and then next thing I knew the whole building was shaking - son and I legged it for the staircase and spent the morning wandering round the streets with helicopters whizzing overhead like a war zone- it was mad. Anyway, long story short, eventually we were allowed back in the flat after about 6 hours and we got on with our lives - UNTIL - 3 weeks later, a note from the landlady giving us notice - since the earthquake her insurance etc had gone thru the roof and she needed to sell up. I was devastated - Id lost my home, somewhere Stu (my son) and I had made our own and loved.

At this point the bloke in the Navy (kev) that I had been seeing was really supportive and suggested that Stu and I move closer to him - a fresh start......just what we needed. I chose Bournemouth, another seaside town, it had good employment, great schools and was only 2 hours away from the navy base. Kev said that he would take early retirement from the Navy and we could look into investing in a wine bar - something solid for the future. For the first time in ages, things were looking up......................................

So you can imagine my SURPRISE when ON THE DAY OF THE MOVE TO BOURNEMOUTH, literally just after my son and I had sat down on the coach to leave London to start our new life, I had a phone call. FROM KEVINS (evie) I wont go into all the details - but it turned out that he had been living with her for years - they had a house together in Cumbria, and that he had 4 children (from relationships before he was with Evie) Turns out the little **** was also in debt up to his eyeballs and had at least 3 other women on the go that Evie had found out about. I knew nothing of all this. Evie and I actually forged a friendship from all this mess - she's a top bird and we were both taken in by someone who you can only call a conman really. He put us both thru a lot - but Im a believer in the "what goes around comes around" theory - he'll get his just desserts.

I had burned all my bridges back in Kent left my flat, given away my beloved tortoises (to a dear friend who I know looks after them well), left my job, taken my son out of school - we had no choice but to continue with the move to Dorset. We got moved into our new house, I spent a week in bed crying and letting my son down very badly, then pulled myself together and dealt with my problems the best way I know how - I ATE!!! Everything..........if I could have physically fitted the fridge into my big fat gob, I would have done so!!!!!!!! I mean - honestly - sometimes I ate till I vomited coz my stomach couldnt take anymore, then I would rest for half an hour (exhausting eating that much) and then go eat some more....

SO, here I was in Dorset, no job, fat as a barn, practically a recluse, no friends here. The only bright spark being that my son was settled in school and doing very well.

I went online (i couldnt face people in public, I couldnt even face myself. JEEZE!!) and began to chat to people in my local area - they are a great bunch, and best of all I have met a new man, who has turned out to be an absolute treasure - his name is steve and he's a beach bum like me!! He takes great care of my son, we stay over at his house and I have never felt so cared for - he treats me like a princess and my son like a prince. We have just put a deposit down on a beautiful cottage in Wareham, which is a lovely village near here and I have got a new job as a hotel receptionist - I start on the 7th April.

For the first time in a long time I feel I have hope for the future - the only thing that really bugs me is my weight - but its OK - today I have taken the first step to get this sorted.

I havent bought scales, I have a wardrobe full of clothes that I cant fit into and I guess these will let me know if my weight is moving in the direction I want it to!!!!!

PHEW!!!!

VERY cathartic this!! I know, dear diary, that this has been a VERY long first blog, but i needed to let you know how sorry I have been feeling for myself and how it is now time to kick myself up the @rse and be the person I know I can be - fit and healthy.

Im typing this from the office in Steves house - he's gone to work now, my son is STILL asleep in bed (teenagers!!), the sun is shining and for the first time in a long time I feel peaceful.


HERES TO A NEW BEGINNING - IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE......