Having one of those nights
Posted 10-01-2008 at 11:45 PM by Denise85
Everything has been going great for the last few days, and then out of nowhere I binge. I don't know what's wrong with me. I have so many ups and downs. Some days I feel like it would be easier to not eat at all then to worry about what to eat and when to eat it. I really thought there would be a time in my life where I beat ED for good. Sure I would still have some of the ED thoughts, but I would be able to control the physical parts. Now I feel like no matter what I do I will always have this. It's depressing and sad. I want to beat this so badly, but something is blocking me. Could it just be that my addiction genes are so strong that it doesn't matter what I do? Will I always fail because of genetics? Look at my family. Drugs, alcohol, smoking, food.....all addictions. I envy those who don't have ED's, and cry for those who do. Some days I feel like completely giving up on beating ED and embracing it instead. I know I can't, but it would be so much easier. 
Total Comments 1
Comments
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Dont give up the fight Denise. You can get past this, and you deserve to get past this. Think of those beautiful little girls and how you want to raise them. Go back and get the help you obviously need.
 You dont have to live with this |
 
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