Day 2

Thank you so much for the encouraging comment Kep. You were surprised how I kept it off, well my job is very physical and I never really lost control again, I know that I feel much better e.g more energy, better moods and less cravings, when I eat low carb so I always kept it in check. Day 1 was tough. I decided to start this on a Saturday because when I travel that is my toughest day. I will not tell a lie at 6pm I was online saying whatever and ordering a pizza. Then something clicked in my head, I did not go through horrible cravings, peeing 30 times and saying no to the hotel brunch to let it all go now for a slice of pizza that would only make me feel guilty the rest of the night. So I went down stairs ordered a salad and some broiled chicken, surprisingly enough the craving went away and I was fine the rest of the night. My beautiful man (who by the way never has a problem with his weight, he could stand to gain a few pounds) gave me a wonderful peice of advice. I hate failing, I can't stand it. Over the past few years it has become my habit to start something and never finish it. In fact the last time I completed something was the last time I was low carb. I was a size 24 and feeling horrible. I had never had a huge problem with my weight, I was athletic. Big and strong but never pudgy. Well health issues arose that were misdiagnosed and I ended up gaining almost 100 pounds. Well one day I got sick of it. I couldn't even walk up a flight of stairs. I had never tried to lose weight before so I just set a goal and stuck to it. I wanted to be a size 14 and be able to run again. I didn't look at the scale because it didn't matter I wanted to fit into a size 14 misses. I started out being able to walk 2 miles in 45 minutes, within 7 months of LC and exercising, I ran a 5k in 28 minutes and had lost 50 pounds, I was in the best shape since high school. I was so happy with my body and where I was I just didn't loose the rest of the weight, but now as I get older I am realizing that this excess weight is no longer healthy to carry around. The problem is I am worried about failing, what if I slip up? I am my harshest critic and a closet perfectionist. Here's what my man said to me. You don't fail as long as you keep trying. When you give up completely thats when you've failed. You keep going back to it, so you've never failed, you keep trying, so you've never failed, your just learning a new lesson with each try. Keep going it will happen. When he said that it was like a rock had been lifted off my shoulders. See I'm not doing this to look better, or fit an image of society. I am doing this for my future children, I'm doing this for me. I don't have anything to prove to anyone, not even myself, because everyday I get up and try, and thats not a failure thats a success. Good luck to all blog at you later.