Disgusting thing happened today

[Houston Heather]

I ride a paratransit service for people with disabilities. My husband is completely blind and had a stroke, he runs his own vending company. I help him.

Occasionally we go to Sam's Club to buy more heroin for the customers. Today the drug of choice was Snickers Bars.

Our vehicle pulled up. A woman is sitting in the front seat. She is holding a long white cane but it is apparent she has some vision when she sees me getting on with the candy. As I pass her she exclaims "Oh, Snickers! I love Snickers!" She is holding a blood glucose meter in her lap.

Then she starts begging for a candy bar. I told her no. "We need them for work". She asks if we sell them. Yes, I reply, we sell them AT WORK. She offers to buy one.

I told her no, it would be too hard to carry the candy bars if I had an open box. As we progress down the road, she confides to her seatmate that (as I suspected) she is diabetic and recently went blind FROM DIABETES.

AND SHE STILL WANTED A SNICKERS BAR.

It was absolutely sickening. You couldn't pay me to eat one now, and I have 96 snickers bars sitting on my couch right now, ready to go to work. No way was I going to help that woman dig her grave with a candy bar.

[Heather shudders] Thank God I got back on Atkins in time.

[melehundele]

It doesn't seem like too much of a stretch to say that the woman's diabetes is not well-controlled. BUT, as a diabetic who went through the prescribed diabetes education and so on, the position of the health care professionals is that diabetics are allowed to have sugar...and candy...occasionally. Health care professionals do NOT, as a general rule (and in accordance with the ADA, unfortunately) advocate a low-carb lifestyle.

Speaking as a diabetic (fairly young...38...and already with significant vision issues, which I assure you I did not bring on to myself intentionally), I feel like I have to play devil's advocate. Maybe this is a really hot area for me because I was just diagnosed with glaucoma today, and that is something for which diabetes is a risk factor. But I don't think it is fair to call this situation "disgusting" or say that the woman was trying to "dig her grave."

Another thing---it is very likely that she DID still want a Snickers bar, extremely so. A pitiful feature of the metabolisms of people prone to diabetes is that they often have incredible cravings for sugars, starches, and carbohydrates of all kinds. Treatment, including injecting with insulin (which I do), paradoxically can lead to more roller-coaster patterns in the blood sugar levels and INCREASE the extreme cravings for sweets.

It could be that this lady is an uncontrolled diabetic who doesn't care about doing the best for her health. Or it could be that she has not been taught that there might be another way to live, and approach diet and medication. Or maybe she is in a state of mind where she figures, she is already blind...what else can happen (right or wrong)? Or another flavor of the above.

But what about this is "disgusting"?

[Bibby]

Hmm, I was visiting my Father in hospital. The ward was for people with lung problems. Most of them there due to smoking related illness, some with amputations due to smoking. I would often see people with amputations wheeling themselves outside to smoke....

[Houston Heather]

The begging disgusted me. I have encountered drug addicts on the streets of the Tenderloin district, in San Francisco, who were less persistent.

I kept telling her no, she kept begging. That's what I found offensive. I think it was obvious she was uncontrolled and uncaring about her health (obese and blind). That was the other offensive thing. I, as a tax payer, am going to have to pay for all her "complications" because she is eating candy bars. I'm not going to "run up my bill" by giving her candy.

I'm not saying diabetics can't eat candy if they want. We live in America. It's their body, not mine. But I will not feed someone else's addiction, or feel bad because I refused to do so. She certainly tried to lay on the guilt (also offensive).

I don't want to sell candy at all, but DH and I are too messed up to make it in the "real world". AGH. So we're stuck with vending. I would love to work in an office, or a plant nursery, or something like that, a job I could be proud of. Not this.

On the plus side, we rode with a nice driver today we hadn't seen in ages. He was about 380 pounds or so. He was very curious about how I'd lost my 23 pounds. I told him about Atkins and what we eat, he was fascinated and very motivated. He wants a healthy retirement in the next few years.

As I left, I told him "I hope you're half the man you are now when I see you again!" He laughed! He's getting the book today.

I'm not all bad.

[Houston Heather]

I don't like the taste of crow but I have been feeling "convicted" by my statements.

I apologize. It's NOT my job to judge what other people eat. It's their God-given right.

I care too much, I get very passionate and very angry when I perceive people to be throwing away their health. DH spent months in the hospital after a terrible accident, I and other "survivor" family members used to pray they'd hang on one more hour, one more day... and they were accident victims. I get angry when I see my husband (weighing 154 pounds) hobbling around, looking like he's about to fall over, and other people in loading up the disabled minivan cabs with "Juice Drinks", bread, cookies, flour, and sugar while complaining about their weight. I feel they are wasting a precious gift.

I'm not justifying. Regardless of how I feel, I shouldn't judge.

Matthew 7:1 Judge not, lest ye be judged. {I have sinned plenty}

I'm sorry.

[skeopple]

Heather,
I don't think you were judging her. You just care about others so much that you didn't wish to make her sicker. You are passionate and wouldn't hurt anybody. I have lurked and followed your story here and have always admired your determination, spunk, and strength!
You are one fine gal

Sharon

[melehundele]

Thank you for your clarification, Heather. I, too, have lurked along and read your posts and frankly, this one seemed like a shocking departure of character. Again, it probably irritated me more because of my own eye issues, coming from diabetes, which since my diagnosis, I have been working hard to control by following (meds, exercise, and diet) the advice of doctors and diabetes educators, to little avail.

There is something about diabetes, in particular, and maybe other diseases that I am not so familiar with, that is sad and maddening at the same time. The American Diabetes Association and the medical profession do not advocate a low carb diet for diabetics; in fact, they have only VERY recently softened their stance to say that it might not be harmful short-term. By adopting the LC lifestyle a few weeks ago, I basically have gone rogue in managing my own treatment. The results I have gotten so far have been great, but I live in constant anxiety that there might be bad effects as well (lipid profile, heart risks, etc.)...though LC advocates say "no," conventional medicine still says "yes" and I am going to have to see for myself. I feel like a guinea pig, and I actually resent that the state of medicine is such that I have to look away from doctors and try to figure out how to preserve my health on my own...what are doctors for?

As it stands, most medical professionals are of the opinion that diabetes is a progressive illness; that complications (blindness, neuropathy, etc) are essentially inevitable if you have the disease long enough; that you can probably delay the onset of complications by controlling your blood sugars; that the way to control your blood sugars is, in part, to eat the ADA diet, which in my case meant consuming 135-180 grams of carbohydrate per day; that the goal for controlling your blood sugars is an A1c of 7.0, which is an outlandishly high goal being that it correlates to an average blood sugar level of 140 (when normal is about 85); and that, when meeting the goal, complications still occur (NO WONDER, the goal is too high!).

From my reading, and my personal experience, I can tell you that many diabetics suffer from HORRENDOUS cravings for sweets. Truly, if you haven't walked in those shoes, you really can't understand it...it is shocking even when you are the one with the cravings.

So while you looked and saw a lady begging for candy, poison to her already damaged body, I could see a lady who actually may have tried to manage her condition according to the medical advice she has received (I HAVE, and it hasn't gotten me very far!). Of course, the true situation could be anywhere in the middle of those, but the point is, no one knows but her.

So that is probably more than anyone wanted to hear, but its a complicated subject and I am still finding my way through the jungle, trying to figure out how I can maintain the health I have for as long as possible. Thanks again for your clarification and your apology.

[Houston Heather]

I am telling myself, "Don't get upset". Like the obese woman today, in a wheelchair, with some kind of "dressings" on a leg, who asked me if I knew some good Chinese places. [I'm clutching my head in my hands now]

And the two "Heathers" are battling to answer her. Heather one wants to tell her about the evils of refined carbohydrates. Heather two wants to be polite, but as my Dad used to say "When you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". I finally came back with "No, the last place I ate was too greasy, sorry."

Don't get upset
Don't get upset

I just ride with a lot of people who have no value or respect for the body God gave them, it seems. Oh, I could tell you horror stories about the groceries I have seen loaded into the vans... and I can't say a word to them.

I'm not talking about diabetics per se, but people who are gorging themselves as they board the van, and opening a full-sugar bottle of soda to drink on the way home. Sadly, we do endure a lot of begging. We try to offer the drivers a can of soda or bottled water. Often the clients on board try to play "Gimme one too". DH is the firm "bad guy" who tells them no. I would not be as nice.

God is teaching me to keep my mouth shut. That must be it.

Thanks for your kind replies.

[melehundele]

I understand how trying your daily travels must be. It is frustrating when you want to tell people how to "fix" some part of their lives. But this is the kind of thing that is for each person to decide. Some people really don't know better. Some maybe just don't care. Either way, until a person is ready to make the journey to getting rid of weight, there is not a lot an outsider can do to change things.

Food is a very odd thing. It is truly a legal drug, I think. And people's life experiences do so much to their outlook on food, and everything else. I know a lady who lived in Germany during WWII. We haven't had a war on our ground, and I believe my mom (who was born at the end of the war in Germany) when she tells me that if you haven't lived through those hard times, you can't imagine them. Anyway, the lady I knew was older...mid sixties. She was a bright, intelligent, artistic woman who was a great beauty in her youth...actually, a dancer. And now she was as wide as she was tall. Due to various health issues...and what I would call basic structural collapse...she was confined to a wheelchair. I shared breakfast with her one morning at a meeting and couldn't help noticing her dining choices and how she enjoyed every morsel she ate. She complained about needing surgery for her knees but not being able to lose enough weight for the doctor to operate. It was hard not to say something, to try to convince her to see "the error of her ways." But what she said really struck me; "I have gone hungry and I will not be hungry again." For her there was a different set of priorities, I guess.

[SusanKH]

Originally Posted by melehundele

By adopting the LC lifestyle a few weeks ago, I basically have gone rogue in managing my own treatment. The results I have gotten so far have been great, but I live in constant anxiety that there might be bad effects as well (lipid profile, heart risks, etc.)...though LC advocates say "no," conventional medicine still says "yes" and I am going to have to see for myself. I feel like a guinea pig, and I actually resent that the state of medicine is such that I have to look away from doctors and try to figure out how to preserve my health on my own...what are doctors for?

Melehundele,
I normally just lurk and never post, but your posts hit the nail on the head where diabetes is concerned. We truly do have to go rogue, unless we're one of the lucky few who have a good doctor who understands low carb. Like you, I live in constant anxiety that there might be bad effects. At 51, I have had diabetes for 13 years. Had I followed the American Diabetes Association diet I would most likely be dead by now. And truly, there are those who work very hard to manage their diabetes and still have serious damage. I thank you so much for your very frank post - it reiterated the situation so many of us face.
Susan

[somethingblue2u]

Heather, the woman on the bus you described could have been my mother. She is blind (from a tumor), has diabetes, and obese. She obsesses about food, she lives for food, she begs people to get her food, she hides food. So yes I can understand your disgust when you see somebody in that shape begging for the poison that got her in that position. I live with it daily and it horrible and for me, life changing.

[Blood Sugar 101]

I have to chime in and say that the woman's sugar addiction may have been caused by following medical advice.

Doctors tell people with diabetes to eat low fat diets and that sugar is okay. They don't tell them that the extreme blood sugar swings caused by carbs make them ravenously hungry. I have experienced the kind of hunger caused by extremely high blood sugar swings and they made me act like an animal around food until I found out what was wrong and lowered my blood sugar.

One other thing. My dad was one of those people who eat like a nutrition robot. He never ate anything that wasn't healthy. He never snacked. I don't think I ever saw him eat a piece of candy.

Finally he had a serious fall and injured his brain. They sent him to a nursing home from the hospital and he started eating candy and cookies--as much as they would let him have. The nurses thought it was cute. I knew it meant he knew he was on his way out. And he was. So he decided what that heck, might as well enjoy some treats before he went. This lady may well feel the same way if her complications are already as bad as they get maybe she figures she might as well enjoy what she can.

But please don't judge. The care people with diabetes get from doctors is abysmal. When I was in the hospital I was put on a "diabetes diet" that was all carbs and trans fats and when I begged for something else, they told me, too bad. This was the diabetes diet and I had diabetes."

[Houston Heather]

One word for the diabetes educators and diet:

CRIMINAL

I see so much suffering every day, and some of these people really think they're doing the right thing by cutting out the meat, eating eggbeaters, and having that processed crap the food companies sell as "healthy". One of them lectures me every time she sees me. Atkins will kill me. I need to eat bread.

Heather - still biting her tongue

[tall-lisa]

I'm new to this website and must say I have found home. My mom has diabetes and is very over weight. In fact she just had the lap band put on, but I'm afraid it is not going to do much because she is not dealing with her sugar addiction.
I am a recovering alcoholic and have not had a drink in almost 17 years. (May 19, 1991) So, I do know addiction. I feel sorry for all of us who struggle with sugar addiction, but I think the thing that drives me crazy is the denial.
And, like any addict, people will hold on to what ever says it’s okay to “use”. My sister who drinks wine by the case always says, “They say red wine is good for you”. Ya, a glass not a bottle a night!
I just wonder why so many people can understand that an alcoholic can never have a drink again, but think that a sugar addict can have sugar…here and there.
The Doctors telling Diabetics to have sugar is like telling someone with sarrouscous (sp?) of the liver to have a drink!
My mom’s health issues drive me crazy! It is like watching someone smoke with lung cancer.
I just vow not to follow in her foot steps.

[Houston Heather]

YEAH.

I was watching this show on TV this last weekend. It's a continuing education program for nurses and doctors. It was about treating obese children with diabetes.

When it was "snack time" at this special program, they trotted out fat-free yogurt and grapes for the kids. It was about what I expected.

Never once did they mention SUGAR intake. Not once. It was "Let's get the kids more active and eating less dietary fat."

I know it's not just me, don't you find it horrible when you see these little 4 and 5 year olds that already weigh twice what they should? Mothers putting COLA into a baby's bottle? Oh, I just want to cry.

DH tells me my job is to lose the weight, and tell everyone about Atkins when they ask. He's a sweetie.

[Hot Tamale]

When asked, I will tell people how I eat to lose weight - how I try to eat every day.
I do not judge what they do.
I am extremely sad when I see parents feeding their children foods that are obviously not the best for them...but I also give my kids grapes, yogurt, and coke on occasion. Heck, I'd do a cartwheel if my DS4 would eat a handful of ANY fruit...
I am a carb - and pretty much a food - addict.
I feel for the lady who begged for a candy bar.
I've never "begged," but then, I've never had to.
It was sad. The whole thing is sad...but I'm not the least bit disgusted.
I've never seen her shoes, let alone walked in them...but I bet my own shoes are very similar to hers.

[Houston Heather]

I saw myself in her. That's what freaked me out. I think someone said that because sugar is so cheap you don't see the addiction crimes that you would see with something like cocaine or heroin. It may have been Sugar Blues.

It's never happened before and I doubt it will happen again. I'm just glad DH and I are on plan so that won't be us one day. I have enough disabilities as it is.

I want to edit to add, I don't judge parents for what they feed their kids. I hand out loads of sugary crap on Halloween. I just wish I could have seen the diabetes health professionals in the educational program feeding the obese, diabetic children a healthy snack of say, cut up turkey and cheese. Or apples and cheese sticks. Pepperoni and cheese. A protein-fat combo instead of sugar sweetened yogurt.

That's all.

[Hot Tamale]

I totally agree with you about turkey and cheese versus yogurt.
I see myself in that lady, too...

[SandraLP]

Originally Posted by Hot Tamale

When asked, I will tell people how I eat to lose weight - how I try to eat every day.
I do not judge what they do.
I am a carb - and pretty much a food - addict.
I feel for the lady who begged for a candy bar.
I've never "begged," but then, I've never had to.
It was sad. The whole thing is sad...but I'm not the least bit disgusted.
I've never seen her shoes, let alone walked in them...but I bet my own shoes are very similar to hers.

I feel the same way you do. My maternal grandmother was a diabetic and she also had vision and health problems due to the disease. She too would sneak a bite of something here and there that she wasn't supposed to have. At one point she probably weighed 250 pounds, but by the time she passed away at 84 she was only 140 pounds. She was the most wonderful, loving woman I've ever known. If it wasn't for her, I would never have found Jesus and been saved. She loved God with all her heart and she had more friends than anyone I know. I couldn't imagine anyone looking at her with disgust. My grandmother had a beautiful heart even if she wasn't the most healthy person in the world.

I think we need to look on these people with love and compassion. No one knows what life has dealt them. The reason why I'm a member of this board is because I too have been out of control, otherwise I wouldn't need to be here. Many people have looked at me with dusgust because of my weight. You can see it in their eyes. It hurts and causes emmotional pain.

Most of us are here because we've educated ourselves about the LC way of life and we need the support of like minded people to help us stay on track, but many people don't have the resources that we do and they don't know how to turn their lives around. It's sad, but true...

I've been on this WOE before and experienced the wonderful benefits it gave to me, and yet even after losing 65 pounds and stating many times that I would NEVER go back to my old way of life, I did just that. I regained all of my weight plus an additional 20 pounds and here I am once again in the same boat I started out in...

I know this time it has to be a lifetime change for me, but it's still a day by day struggle and I need the people on this board to help me over the bumps in the road. I'm really glad to be here...

[Hot Tamale]

Hi Sandy - The support from people who are going through the same thing I have gone through/am going through seems to be the key I need to lose weight and keep what I've lost off. My mom died 2 years ago from pulmonary hypertension - but also developed diabetes for about her last year. On top of all the medical issues she already had, there she was, trying to keep her sugar levels down, too. God bless her, it was an awful time. No one deserves to suffer the way my mom did.
But I digress... There, but for the grace of God, go I. Through my mom's death I have received strength to finally work at taking care of my weight the way I know I need to. I have a LONG way to go - still get daily stares, etc... - but I am now almost always working at losing - or at least at maintaining the loss. It is great you're here, Sandy!!! You can do it!

[SandraLP]

Thanks a bunch Hot Tamale! It's really great to be here. I'm one of those people that needs the support and friendship of boards like this. Too many of my family members don't understand this woe and they don't know all the facts, so they think low carb is not healthy for me even though I've got the bloodwork to prove them wrong. Seeing is not always believing because they all saw me lose 65 pounds on this woe back in 2003 and yet they still have doubts. I don't know what else I can do to convince them accept to just stick with it and let them see for themselves...

I've got a LONG way to go myself. I'm only 5'3" tall and I have well over a 100 pounds to lose. It's good to know I have some new friends to walk the long road with me...Nice to meet ya!!!

[kayleekat3]

Diabetes runs in my family. I was pregant with my first child at 23. When my blood test came back the doctors were really surprised I had gestational diabetes. They told me to avoid sugar. It was october I had already bought the candy to hand out. I hid in my bedroom and ate almost half a bucket.
Sometimes its hard to do what you are supposed to do.