when people call u fat....

[Rosey]

So yesterday I passed by the shop to buy a few things and I hadn't changed my gym clothes so I felt a little uncomfortable as the assistant came close. I told her, to not get too close cos I'm from gym n I probably stink a lil. Her response was but u are fatter than the last time I saw u. I felt it. Laughed it off n left.

Today I went to the garage(petrol station) to get milk. Low fat milk n the assistant said to me r u buying low fat because u don't want to get bigger than u already are?

See I'm a size 14/16 I wear large or xl. I had a breast reduction which I thought would stop all that torment. I used to go through a lot of this when I wore a Zcup. People called me a dairy farm, strangers, I was called fat all the time, ppl had the decensy to ask me why my boobs were that big. I had gone thru men grabbing my boobs.strangers I mean.

So after losing almost 30lbs n the dr removing 7lbs from my chest,I thort life would b a little easier, but I still get strangers calling me fat.

Am I the only one who goes through this agony? I see myself in the mirror each day, I don't need people reminding me of how fat I am.

[princessmommy]

How awful! I'm so sorry you went through that. Makes my heart hurt for you when I was 207 I had a teenager Moo at me in walmart! I was so shocked and devestated all I could do was stare at him. He was even with what looked like him Mom and he did that! I honestly do not care How big a person is there is No reason to ever make fun or torment someone like that! It's hard enough being overweight

[rndiane]

I am sometimes so surprised at the stupidity of some people. I have never had anyone call me fat to my face but I'm sure it has been mentioned behind my back. You can't change STUPID/ CLASSLESS behavior. BTW, I would love to be at your weight today.

[Rosey]

Originally Posted by rndiane

I am sometimes so surprised at the stupidity of some people. I have never had anyone call me fat to my face but I'm sure it has been mentioned behind my back. You can't change STUPID/ CLASSLESS behavior. BTW, I would love to be at your weight today.

Well I'm back at 198 now. But I will take that as a complement

[Maddierose]

People can be so cruel in spirit. So sorry.

[DairyQueen]

When I was a teenager a little girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so Fat?" and I answered, "Well, that's the way I am. We are all different sizes and shapes." And when I got home I looked in the mirror and said to myself, "You know what? You are FAT. Maybe if you lost some weight - like 30 or 40 pounds -- you'd get asked out on dates." I started Stillmans the very next day and lost the weight. I WAS fat! Sometimes a comment like that, or a side look into a mirror, or an unattractive photo of yourself (see my before and after in the January challenge thread) will trigger that part of your brain that goes, "AHHHH I am ready to commit!"

[Avy]

Maybe I'm one of the few people, but I don't really get offended by the word "fat". I am fat. It's a fact. I'm not saying people should be malicious or mean, but, if you're fat, you're fat. We are all here because we've accepted that we are, and we can see in the mirror we are. None of us should be surprised that others see what we see. Hell, most of us probably see an even fatter version than strangers do. :P

Now, I would tear someone a new a$$**** if they called another person names or made someone feel bad, but if you point out that I am overweight... well yes, thanks, I am. I won't be forever.

I guess what I'm saying is, embrace who you are, and what you're doing for yourself and your health, and screw what other people who can't possibly know your struggle say or think. Pounds of fat are not who we are, and don't define us. You'll get where you want to be!

Originally Posted by DairyQueen

When I was a teenager a little girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so Fat?" and I answered, "Well, that's the way I am. We are all different sizes and shapes." And when I got home I looked in the mirror and said to myself, "You know what? You are FAT. Maybe if you lost some weight - like 30 or 40 pounds -- you'd get asked out on dates." I started Stillmans the very next day and lost the weight. I WAS fat! Sometimes a comment like that, or a side look into a mirror, or an unattractive photo of yourself (see my before and after in the January challenge thread) will trigger that part of your brain that goes, "AHHHH I am ready to commit!"

[Kimberli33]

Ok,I disagree...We might be fat,we might know we are fat,but how does that give a stranger the right to say anything about it to us???Do we go around calling our elders old to their face?Or plain people ugly?people wearing glasses 4 eyes?Do we mention when someone has greasy hair?bad skin?or are too thin?
Most people dont feel its ok to do this and if they do then they need a good punch in the nose...lol

[margame]

yep ... got those types of comments ... never been grabbed tho, that's assault!!! altho when i was young and in a nightclub i did punch some guy in the nose after he pinched my bottom.
now that i'm older and don't throw punches quite as often, i have replied to the fat comments with "yes i am, and in few month's time i won't be as fat but you'll still be an idiot."

[thealything]

wow, I am bigger than you and no one has ever said that kind of thing to me... maybe it's a South Africa thing? here in Canada people are just too polite, though they may be thinking all sorts of things.

or maybe they just know I would punch them!

[thealything]

Originally Posted by Kimberli33

Ok,I disagree...We might be fat,we might know we are fat,but how does that give a stranger the right to say anything about it to us???Do we go around calling our elders old to their face?Or plain people ugly?people wearing glasses 4 eyes?Do we mention when someone has greasy hair?bad skin?or are too thin?
Most people dont feel its ok to do this and if they do then they need a good punch in the nose...lol

[cfine]

Oh my goodness! I would certainly say something insulting right back at the person who said something like that to me. How rude!! Nobody has the right to speak to another person that way.

[kayellr]

That kind of behavior is unacceptable. Take your business elsewhere. Inform the idiot commenter AND the manager of the store why you are doing so. If it's a big company, write an email to the CEO too. Let them do the math on how many big people buy from them.

The only time it is ok for a person to comment on your weight or appearance is if you bring it up first. The comment you made about the gym was not about your weight. Those people were a**holes. The odds are unfortunately good that it could happen to them too one of these days.

[CrazyCat2]

I've had a couple instances like that.
I was at jazzersize...and had another girl tell me that maybe I should do curves instead.

How about when your DOCTOR calls you fat. ~! Yep. went to the doctor last month..and she told me I needed to lose weight..that I was obese.
Okay..thanks a lot doc..any advice? No...just lose weight..that's all I got. My self asteem at this point is in shambles..that sure didn't help.

[mspartytime]

I have had some similar situations. I went through the drive-thru at McDonalds once for my kids, I wasn't eating. But the drivethru got the happy meals wrong so I had to walk them back through the restaurant. I went up to the counter and some old man looked at me and said "I think somebody has had a little TOO MUCH McDonalds lately" as his eyes scanned my body. I stood there in shock and humiliated. Just so happened there was a girl in line who ripped him a new one for me for being so rude as I slunk out the door.

People are rude sometimes. And they have no right. BUT it is something we can use to motivate us, I think. I also have a Dr. who told me last Spring that I was pre-diabetic and that my fasting blood sugar was really high and I needed to lose some weight. So I asked Is there anything I could do about the fasting blood sugars and she said all loudly YES, LOSE WEIGHT! YOU ARE OBESE. I was like so embarrassed and the nurse in the room was obviously embarrassed for me.

[LiterateGriffin]

Originally Posted by Rosey

So yesterday I passed by the shop to buy a few things and I hadn't changed my gym clothes so I felt a little uncomfortable as the assistant came close. I told her, to not get too close cos I'm from gym n I probably stink a lil. Her response was but u are fatter than the last time I saw u. I felt it. Laughed it off n left.

Dear General Manager:

I am writing to you because I was in your store yesterday when....

...this humiliating behavior by your employee to a customer...

...I may be contacted at this number. Thank you for your time, Rosey

Originally Posted by Rosey

Today I went to the garage(petrol station) to get milk. Low fat milk n the assistant said to me r u buying low fat because u don't want to get bigger than u already are?

OK, first question: Why were you buying lowfat milk? I'm hoping it was for someone else -- you realize you can't drink lowfat on Atkins, right? It's much too high-carb. Substitute full-cream (the kind you'd use to make whipped cream) in any recipes that call for milk, or in your coffee/tea.

Originally Posted by Rosey

So after losing almost 30lbs n the dr removing 7lbs from my chest,I thort life would b a little easier, but I still get strangers calling me fat.

~hugs~

I'm sorry you've gone through all of this. You are a beautiful person. The size and shape of your body is not a reflection of who you are, NOR is it the result of a moral failing on your part -- any more than a tall person's body is.

LC has the power to change your life. To make you feel so much healthier, better, more energetic, more focused... and by the way, the weight melts off. (It really is almost a side-benefit, though admittedly an IMPORTANT one!)

We're all here because at some point we looked in the mirror and didn't like what we saw there. We're here, and you can do this.

[Chris 232]

I've though of a comback for those people.
I am be fat but can lose weight, but being ugly inside like you lasts forever. but being a brat (for kids) lasts forever. being a P.... lasts forever. being a B.... lasts forever.

I just returned from the Christmas holidays, a month in warm Florida, and 15 of a pity party. So I'm up 34 lbs. But I'm motivated to lose again-as I have 2 wedding to attend in July. One is a beach wedding, and I already have my slim dress-need to lost those 34 lbs. So here I go again.

[Trillex]

Originally Posted by Chris 232

I've though of a comback for those people.
I am be fat but can lose weight, but being ugly inside like you lasts forever. but being a brat (for kids) lasts forever. being a P.... lasts forever. being a B.... lasts forever.

I just returned from the Christmas holidays, a month in warm Florida, and 15 of a pity party. So I'm up 34 lbs. But I'm motivated to lose again-as I have 2 wedding to attend in July. One is a beach wedding, and I already have my slim dress-need to lost those 34 lbs. So here I go again.

Welcome back, Chris! I am also in Ann Arbor and I'd wondered where you'd gone.

[manders]

Calling anyone names is in poor taste and bullying. But let's be honest, we are all on this site for a reason. Because we are/were fat and are on our way to not being fat. Once I admitted to myself that I was fat, my entire life changed. Society has a way of coddling people into thinking that it's okay to be overweight or even obese. News flash: it's not. But that still doesn't give anyone a right to tear your spirit down. Take that energy and transfer it to making yourself stay on track and become a better person. Not just so they stop calling you fat, but because you deserve to live a long, happy life.

[kayellr]

There seems to be a recent trend towards "fat shaming". Actually pushed by some "expert" as the way to get people to "realize that they are fat" and motivate them to do something about it.

Complete crap of course. Like people who are overweight or obese don't know it. Like the cultural shame from that isn't already horrifying and terribly depressing. Like losing weight is SO simple, we must just not care.

It's like the notion that the reason that the overweight and above percentage in the US has climbed from @30% to @65% in the last 40 years is simply because we are all lazy pigs. Some people are just so married to the simplistic "calories in, calories out" theory that they are completely resistant to any idea that would challenge it. Even to the point that they will decide that most of the country (and a rapidly rising proportion of the rest of the world) are just lazy pigs, rather than asking what could possibly be leading to such an incredibly high rate of change in obesity rates.

Of course, TPTB certainly wouldn't want to face up to the fact that their own failed food recommendations are a HUGE part of the problem. So shaming it is. Much better (and far easier) to pick on the "fatties" than actually start looking for real solutions.

Whole thing reminds me dreadfully of junior high bullying. Nasty.

[SweetMe678]

Originally Posted by kayellr

There seems to be a recent trend towards "fat shaming". Actually pushed by some "expert" as the way to get people to "realize that they are fat" and motivate them to do something about it.

Complete crap of course. Like people who are overweight or obese don't know it. Like the cultural shame from that isn't already horrifying and terribly depressing. Like losing weight is SO simple, we must just not care.

It's like the notion that the reason that the overweight and above percentage in the US has climbed from @30% to @65% in the last 40 years is simply because we are all lazy pigs. Some people are just so married to the simplistic "calories in, calories out" theory that they are completely resistant to any idea that would challenge it. Even to the point that they will decide that most of the country (and a rapidly rising proportion of the rest of the world) are just lazy pigs, rather than asking what could possibly be leading to such an incredibly high rate of change in obesity rates.

Of course, TPTB certainly wouldn't want to face up to the fact that their own failed food recommendations are a HUGE part of the problem. So shaming it is. Much better (and far easier) to pick on the "fatties" than actually start looking for real solutions.

Whole thing reminds me dreadfully of junior high bullying. Nasty.

I remember in my late 20's seeing a dr. phil show where he was yelling at these fat women for being overweight. I was incredibly shocked. Shame as a tool to force someone to change DOES NOT work. In fact, with drug addicts, feeling shame can lead to a relapse, it leads to giving up hope if it becomes overwhelming.

Acceptance of your weight and size does work. It seems that when I finally accepted, ok I'm fat, I was finally able to really start making lasting changes.

Rosey ~ I am so sad for you over being treated like this. I would call or write to the managers of both stores. And don't be afraid to correct someone. I know how hard that can be. I tend to do it politely. I'd probably have said "I think it was inappropriate for you to have made that comment." But I tend to be accused of being too nice

[ljmama0408]

How very hurtful! I'm so sorry you had those experiences. People can be so cruel.