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#481 | |
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MAJOR LCF POSTER!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,199
Gallery: beachagain
Stats: 160/145/135
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: re-September 2006
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SalsterOkay on the camping thing, so me and hubby backpack...tent and whatever we can carry in the packs....yes and dehydrated food, etc. ...and I'm the one who got him into it!....I love, love it...climbing 14 ers too!![]() Last edited by beachagain : 04-20-2008 at 06:12 AM. |
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#482 |
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Very Gabby LCF Member!!!
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Northeast
Posts: 3,161
Gallery: FatFatnomore
Stats: preggers!
WOE: Low Carb
Start Date: October 26, 2007
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Riot, that's my plan for today. Curl up on the couch and read all day. It's nice and gloomy outside today too which is the perfect day to do NOTHING.
I slept so good out in the tent last night, believe it or not. Menu B: Bacon and eggs L: bunless burger D: chicken wings |
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#483 |
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MAJOR LCF POSTER!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,199
Gallery: beachagain
Stats: 160/145/135
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: re-September 2006
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Alright, this is going to be a very long post because I need to tell someone, and I cannot tell anybody in my real world, if you know what I mean.
A little history, my best friend growing up was a guy friend who was like my big brother, who protected me, etc. We told each other everything. Of course, as we have gotten older, busy, etc we don't talk near as much as I would like, maybe a few times a year...and yesterday he called me out of the blue and we talked for a few hours...blah, blah...history sort of over. 15 years ago, I was in California for my best girl-freinds wedding that I was in...we are all from Colorado, but many of us moved to LA and most eventually came back to Colorado. Anyway, other BFF was also in the area visiting a mutual freind who had moved there and we all got together while we were there and hung out and went to clubs, etc. This mutual friend was a guy I had a crush on in high school, but I apparently wasn't good enough for him, as he dumped me, but we remained freinds because of my guy friend. Anyway, BFF 1 went back to Denver, and other BF got married and went on honeymoon. Before my flight, this guy asked me to hang out with him and catch up, etc. Long story short, he date raped me. I was devistated because I was very clear about my boundaries and no, etc. and I was dating my now hubby, so it was truly very horrible....lots of therapy to deal with the guilt, pain, etc. My husband knows, but none of the details, because like all good husbands, he wants to kill those who have hurt me, so he believes it was more of a stranger, than an acquaintance. History over....I am so sorry about how long this is! Needless to say, that has been a sore topic for BFF and me because I did not tell him...it was not my place to destroy thier friendship and it would have...so we just didn't really discuss this guy much. BFF knew that this guy and I had a falling out of sorts, but didn't know and I didn't tell. Now back to yesterday, my BFF calls and tells me that recently this guy has been begging him to call me and tell me sorry. He told him that he did a horrible thing to me and is guilt ridden...(I'm crying now, sorry, this is hard)...he told my BFF that he cannot hardly live with himself and that he has broke down crying on at least three occasions over this. He wants me to know that he's sorry. Hate in my heart was much easier than this because I'm not sure what to do with it. This could have destroyed me, but I've become stronger. I've already on many levels forgiven him...not for him, but for me. His appologies do not change it...it does not make my guilt, pain, etc go away. It changed me to the core, and I can never go back to that sweet, young naive girl, nor would I want to. I don't want to be that person who say's good, he shouldn't be able to live with himself, but I'm glad that it haunts him too...I hope that it haunts him so that he never does this to another soul. I also don't want this to undo any of my own progress...and I feel conflicted and a little unhinged...and that scares me. I said to my BF...that it makes it a little better to know that he acknowledges it...that is all I could say. BF is upset because he say's he knows that this is bad and that his imagination is telling him hideous things, but that he respects my privacy. anyway, sorry this is so long, it's just that it reopened some old wounds and I need to deal with it or risk coming undone! I'm sorry to be such a Debbie Downer today...just needed to vent
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Cristen ![]() Red Hot Mama ...Lost 7 pounds ![]() Bahama Mama's Bikini Challenge...stall Drop it Like its Hot ... Goal 135 LOST 5 - 144 Pounds ![]() Bringing Sexy Back Challenge Anything!! Okay...so I didn't bring sexy backFlying past the bewitching weigh challenge...goal 130
Last edited by beachagain : 04-20-2008 at 07:06 AM. |
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#484 |
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Senior LCF Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 63
Gallery: getnthere
Stats: 238/192/135
WOE: Atkins M&E
Start Date: diet 8/06 liveit 9/24/07
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Hello all, I have been gone for too long. I new where to find you all.
Beach I just read your story...I too was in a date rape situation in high school. Well I agree let him live with the act acknowledging him will only scratch up old scars for you. Regardless you can look at this as in the past. Don't give him the power to hurt you more. On a side note does your guy BFF know? Are you thinking of telling him? |
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#485 |
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MAJOR LCF POSTER!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,199
Gallery: beachagain
Stats: 160/145/135
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: re-September 2006
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getn...so nice to see you! Glad you're back
![]() thanks for the support...I so hate drama...and now I have more than I can handle ![]() My Guy BF does not know and I'm not going to tell him...this would destroy their friendship and I don't want that...even slugs need friends, I guess. I'm just not like that...I keep to myself, keep things to myself...like this, noone knows but my hubby, and even he does not know the details. I told the rape crisis center and a therapist, other than that, my family knows nothing...and I want it like that. It started out as shame and now it kind of like, why bother upsetting others. I'm good mostly and although this certainly had a huge impact on me...(including the weighty issues), I'm doing ok...I just can't deal with sex offenders in my job because I'm not very nice to them. not at all an oddity, I'm sure!This is my past, and although it has come back to haunt me, I sort of have the satisfaction that this effected him and that he feels guilty. Honestly, it's a good thing because if he truly had no conscience about it, I would feel even more guilt for not stopping him via a police report or whatever. That too has bothered me and made me feel guilt because what if he kept behaving that way to other women and I had the power to stop him. Just thoughts I guess. I hate to humanize him...he doesn't deserve it, but... |
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#486 |
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MAJOR LCF POSTER!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,218
Gallery: hellsbelles
Stats: 228/153/140
WOE: LC <20 (mostly Atkins)
Start Date: 12/4/07
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beach - I'm really sorry that you had to go through that and I can only imagine how painful it has been for you. I'm not really sure what else to say other than I'm glad you had a safe place where you could share your feelings and vent - even if you don't receive any "advice". Sometimes the best kind of therapy is just getting it all out and off your chest.
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#487 |
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MAJOR LCF POSTER!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,218
Gallery: hellsbelles
Stats: 228/153/140
WOE: LC <20 (mostly Atkins)
Start Date: 12/4/07
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I was supposed to do fat fast today but was unable to because we were going out to lunch after church and I didn't plan as well as I needed to. I started out doing fat fast this morning and thankfully not being able to do it all day didn't mess me up with switching to low carb. So I will pick fat fast up tomorrow and continue to alternate between that and low carb for a few more days.
B: 2 oz cream cheese; iced coffee with cream and 2 splenda L: chicken ceasar salad D: green beans and grilled chicken water
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Starting Weight (12/4/07): 228 Starting Weight (2/15/08): 201 Starting Weight (4/14/08): 184 Starting Weight (6/03/08): 170 Starting Weight (7/30/08): 160 Starting Weight (9/11/08): 157 Current Weight: 153 (75 pounds down!!!) Long Term Goal: 140 by Thanksgiving
4 pounds lost - Bewitching Weight Challenge 11 days OP ![]() |
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#488 |
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MAJOR LCF POSTER!
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Central MN
Posts: 1,804
Gallery: Snickerdoolers
Stats: 242.8/224.8/150
WOE: Atkins/IF
Start Date: 11/5/07
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[quote=beachagain;10211490Okay on the camping thing, so me and hubby backpack...tent and whatever we can carry in the packs....yes and dehydrated food, etc.
...and I'm the one who got him into it!....I love, love it...climbing 14 ers too! [/QUOTE]wow, that is a little to into it. What if it rained, or got to cold, you pee in the woods? lol, i'm not hardcore, i could do it, but you might hear some complaining... ![]() About your situation. i'm sorry to hear that it happened to you to. It's amazing the number of women out there who have had this horrifiing experience. I too was a victim who chose not to tell. Only one friend knows. But anyhoo, You need to do what is right for you. If your not comfortable,don't send on a message. just leave things the way they are. I so hope things work out well. ![]() Hey getnthere, glad to see you again! ![]()
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Lost to date: 26 Lbs. ![]() Exercise 6 days this week 0/6 starting Thurs. 0 days no cheats! Flying Past My Bewitching Weight! 9/11: 229.2 9/18:227.8 9/25:227.2 10/2: 229.2 10/9:229.6 http://www.fitday.com/WebFit/PublicJ...snickerdoolers |
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#489 |
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MAJOR LCF POSTER!
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Central MN
Posts: 1,804
Gallery: Snickerdoolers
Stats: 242.8/224.8/150
WOE: Atkins/IF
Start Date: 11/5/07
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Ohhh, and i almost forgot...
Good Luck in weigh in!
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#490 |
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MAJOR LCF POSTER!
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: New York
Posts: 1,407
Gallery: onederlandbound
Stats: 250/225/150
WOE: Low Carb < 20
Start Date: 1/1/08
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Beach - so sorry for what you're going through!! Don't worry about his feelings -- do what's best for you. You've come a long way.
I've had a stomach ache all day!! I even slept for a while because I felt so lousy!! This thread is sooo quiet this weekend!! Where is everybody?? I hope everyone is doing well. After all, tomorrow is weigh in!!! ![]() |
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#491 |
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MAJOR LCF POSTER!
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: NV
Posts: 1,059
Blog Entries: 8
Gallery: alove4candles
Stats: 169/155/130
WOE: Workin With My Body
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Beach I am so sorry you had to go through such a horrible life changing experience
. You do what is best for you. God has blessed you with a life and family you deserve. ![]() |
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#492 |
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MAJOR LCF POSTER!
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: NV
Posts: 1,059
Blog Entries: 8
Gallery: alove4candles
Stats: 169/155/130
WOE: Workin With My Body
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Yikes weigh in is tomorrow!! See you all in the am.
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#493 |
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Blabbermouth!!!
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 6,681
Gallery: RiotGirl08
Stats: 199/pregnant/120 5'2"
WOE: whatever stays down
Start Date: 10/20/07
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Not sure, but I think this is the last one.
Riot.......159.2....156.4 Oneder...225.... FF.........198..... Candles..147..... Driveme..143..... Jeep.......220.... Snix.......234.... Pink.......224.... Amity.....185.... Om........186.... belle......184.... Beach....149... lcold......138.... annie.....230.... Mask......344.... Tammy...213.... zraik......149.4.. Fluffy.....210 I feel bad complaining about 3 pounds, but here I am. I was down to 155 and then stoopid TOM keeps threatening me. And I never gain weight before TOM! Oh well. Anyway, I don't have a menu planned for today. Well, I have one planned, just not prepared. Big difference. I was successful in laying in bed all day yesterday, and didn't get to the store. But I know I'm having bacon for breakfast. |
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#494 |
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MAJOR LCF POSTER!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,199
Gallery: beachagain
Stats: 160/145/135
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: re-September 2006
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Riot.......159.2....156.4
Oneder...225.... FF.........198..... Candles..147..... Driveme..143..... Jeep.......220.... Snix.......234.... Pink.......224.... Amity.....185.... Om........186.... belle......184.... Beach....149........149.5 lcold......138.... annie.....230.... Mask......344.... Tammy...213.... zraik......149.4.. Fluffy.....210 thank you to everyone...and I'm sorry for you too snix...I know how you feel. Snix, it's not that bad in the rain...or snow. I think most people would be complaining...I know my sisters would ...heck, they would never even consider backpacking. Roughing it for my Marth Stewart sister is getting a piece of gravel in her fully loaded and stocked trailer![]() |
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#495 |
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Very Gabby LCF Member!!!
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Northeast
Posts: 3,161
Gallery: FatFatnomore
Stats: preggers!
WOE: Low Carb
Start Date: October 26, 2007
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Riot.......159.2....156.4
Oneder...225.... FF.........198.......195.6 Candles..147..... Driveme..143..... Jeep.......220.... Snix.......234.... Pink.......224.... Amity.....185.... Om........186.... belle......184.... Beach....149... lcold......138.... annie.....230.... Mask......344.... Tammy...213.... zraik......149.4.. Fluffy.....210 |
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#496 |
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Very Gabby LCF Member!!!
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Northeast
Posts: 3,161
Gallery: FatFatnomore
Stats: preggers!
WOE: Low Carb
Start Date: October 26, 2007
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I woke up exhausted today. And it's raining so I won't be walking at the park. I guess I'll have to give the elliptical a workout today.
Or maybe I'll walk to curves and sign up. I measured it and it's only a mile away from my house. I can handle a mile in the rain. lol Menu B: bacon and eggs L: 2 hb eggs D:steak and salad Today is going to be rough. TOM is due any day now for me too, and DH bought strawberries and pineapple yesterday. All I can think about this morning is those strawberries. I want them!
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2008 New Year's Resolution: Walk 365 miles 212 miles walked 153 miles to go |
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#497 |
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Blabbermouth!!!
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 6,681
Gallery: RiotGirl08
Stats: 199/pregnant/120 5'2"
WOE: whatever stays down
Start Date: 10/20/07
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FF eat a few strawberries. They would be perfectly fine! They're relatively LC
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#498 |
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Very Gabby LCF Member!!!
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Northeast
Posts: 3,161
Gallery: FatFatnomore
Stats: preggers!
WOE: Low Carb
Start Date: October 26, 2007
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Really? Mmmm...Ok, I'm going for it. They look so juicy.
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#499 |
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Blabbermouth!!!
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 6,681
Gallery: RiotGirl08
Stats: 199/pregnant/120 5'2"
WOE: whatever stays down
Start Date: 10/20/07
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yeah, there's only like 3.5 grams or so per 1/2 cup, I think.
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#500 |
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MAJOR LCF POSTER!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,218
Gallery: hellsbelles
Stats: 228/153/140
WOE: LC <20 (mostly Atkins)
Start Date: 12/4/07
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Riot.......159.2....156.4
Oneder...225.... FF.........198.......195.6 Candles..147..... Driveme..143..... Jeep.......220.... Snix.......234.... Pink.......224.... Amity.....185.... Om........186.... belle......184........181 Beach....149... lcold......138.... annie.....230.... Mask......344.... Tammy...213.... zraik......149.4.. Fluffy.....210 Last edited by hellsbelles : 04-21-2008 at 06:33 AM. Reason: making the chart pretty :) |
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#501 |
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MAJOR LCF POSTER!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,218
Gallery: hellsbelles
Stats: 228/153/140
WOE: LC <20 (mostly Atkins)
Start Date: 12/4/07
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Welcome back getn! Congrats riot and ff on the losses! Congrats to all the other losers today
! Today is fat fast day - it seems to be working out ok so far! This week is my last week of callanetics before measuring. I have 1 hr to catch up on from last week so I'll be doing 4 hours this week ! Depending on the end results I may continue callanetics but only 2 hrs per week so I can get back into walking. I've cut back drastically since starting callanetics and I want to make sure I continue to do something aerobic. Menu: 1: 2 oz cream cheese 2: 1/4 cup heavy cream; coffee; 2 splenda 3: tuna with mayo 4: tuna with mayo 5: 4 deviled eggs with mayo 70-80 oz water |
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#502 |
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MAJOR LCF POSTER!
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: NV
Posts: 1,059
Blog Entries: 8
Gallery: alove4candles
Stats: 169/155/130
WOE: Workin With My Body
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Riot.......159.2....156.4
Oneder...225.... FF.........198.......195.6 Candles..147.......150 Driveme..143..... Jeep.......220.... Snix.......234.... Pink.......224.... Amity.....185.... Om........186.... belle......184........181 Beach....149... lcold......138.... annie.....230.... Mask......344.... Tammy...213.... zraik......149.4.. Fluffy.....210 Congrats lossers! I gained...but I did splurge last wk on a Blizzard and TOM is also visiting...hoping some of it is just water weight!! |
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#503 | |
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MAJOR LCF POSTER!
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Central MN
Posts: 1,804
Gallery: Snickerdoolers
Stats: 242.8/224.8/150
WOE: Atkins/IF
Start Date: 11/5/07
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Good Morning!!
Quote:
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#504 |
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MAJOR LCF POSTER!
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Central MN
Posts: 1,804
Gallery: Snickerdoolers
Stats: 242.8/224.8/150
WOE: Atkins/IF
Start Date: 11/5/07
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Riot.......159.2...156.4
Oneder...225..... FF.........198.....195.6 Candles..147.....150 Driveme..143..... Jeep.......220.... Snix.......234.....233 Pink.......224..... Amity.....185..... Om........186..... belle......184.....181 Beach....149..... lcold......138..... annie.....230..... Mask......344..... Tammy...213..... zraik......149.4... Fluffy.....210..... Yay, a pound! Whoot! congrats so far all your doing well! |
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