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-   -   Concerned I may fall... (http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/addiction-support/810555-concerned-i-may-fall.html)

Biochic 08-22-2013 03:06 PM

Concerned I may fall...
 
Hi everyone. Some of you know me, others may not. I have been struggling with binge eating and wt control forever. I have lost and gained hundreds of pounds since mu last child was born in 1991. I am 200 plus days without a binge and down 45 pounds. I am heading home tomorrow from my summer retreat and I am so worried the stress will make me weak.
I am bringing my mom home for a nursing home. She has dementia among other thigs. She is 89. I have hired an Armenian woman to care for her but she speaks very little English. The price is right but I'm so worried. Thankfully I don't return to work until 9/9 so I have to time to police the situation.
In the past, my MO has been to quell my stress with binging. I have been here before- sober (regarding food) for months and then Wham! Something happens and I turn to food:sad: I guess I'm looking for a place to vent. Mom moves back I on the 26th. Give me strength!:stars:

gordita 08-22-2013 08:44 PM

I understand how you feel, and hoping for strength for you. :up:

alex_in_wonderland 08-23-2013 12:53 AM

Hugs for you! :hugs:
Looks like you have a lot to handle. Good for you for recognizing the potential for binging, and reaching out for support! :high5: I have been in a similar situation, and for me, I had to make sure my physical hunger was taken care of (don't let myself go too long without a meal, because being ravenous FEELS like it would justify everything), and also to remind myself that the urge to binge comes from a place that will not actually be satisfied by a binge, I will only feel sick and guilty if I do, and to redirect or fulfill that urge by doing something to take care of myself - a nice bath, a long drive, writing in a journal, read a non-serious book, a call to a friend, give myself a pedicure, etc.
Good luck to you, you can do it! Saying a little prayer for ya :aprayer:

Biochic 08-23-2013 01:16 AM

Thanks for your support. I'm hoping for the best...

sarahatl 08-23-2013 09:54 AM

Biochic...200 days binge free...you are in inspiration to say the least! You have a lot on your plate with your mothers condition (my mom had Alzheimer's as well). I think it is critical that your recognize that this will be a tough time for you. I wish I could offer you advice but I cannot see to even make it a week without binging....I am sending positive thoughts your way to get you through this difficult transition.

jeaniem 08-23-2013 10:03 AM

:hugs: Lisa. You are an inspiration to me, I truly believe reading of your success had helped me so much when I have been tempted to binge. I have an ongoing stress in my daily life as well and I will say that I handle it and cope much better when I take care of myself and don't binge eat. I know that sounds obvious but I really try to remember when I have an especially difficult day that binge eating will only make things feel worse than they are already are. Take care of yourself and continue to eat well and do your yoga you deserve it!

Biochic 08-23-2013 04:47 PM

Honestly I have not had to deal with this strong an urge in what seems like forever:stars:
At the airport today I wanted ice cream and bagels and any number of things from the bakery. I had a burger no bun. White knuckling here and my mom isn't even home yet!

jeaniem 08-23-2013 04:50 PM

Hang in there Lisa. You know that crap will make you feel awful! Maybe you should resume taking your supplements for a while?

Patience 08-23-2013 04:52 PM

But you are hanging in there!! Way to go.
Take care not to get too hungry.
Is your kitchen carb-proofed?
Maybe you can enlist your careperson to join your WOE, or at least to understand the importance of it to you.

Biochic 08-23-2013 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeaniem (Post 16572084)
Hang in there Lisa. You know that crap will make you feel awful! Maybe you should resume taking your supplements for a while?

Thinking about it Jeanie. I will wait and see how things go. Sometimes the anticipation of a stressful situation turns out to be much worse than the reality. I think after I get mom here (Monday) and assess the competency of this caregiver, I'll have a better idea of where to go from there.

Biochic 08-23-2013 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bella (Post 16572088)
But you are hanging in there!! Way to go.
Take care not to get too hungry.
Is your kitchen carb-proofed?
Maybe you can enlist your careperson to join your WOE, or at least to understand the importance of it to you.

Hi Bella. Yes, I am watching that for sure and the house is devoid of any real threats.
I'm not sure the caregiver understands anything I say let alone my lc lifestyle:stars: I think that is what is giving me the most worry. Will she work out and what do I do if she doesn't! Thankfully I don't go back to work until sept 9th some have some time to figure things out.

alex_in_wonderland 08-23-2013 11:38 PM

Way to go! You are an inspiration :) KUTGW!

tobelowcarber 08-24-2013 11:33 AM

Lisa- I pray that you stay strong!!! You can do it. You have done for 200 days, which is awesome. Take care and big hugs:hugs:
I agree with everyone here, make sure you don't get hungry. Just stock up on legal LC foods.

Biochic 08-24-2013 02:14 PM

I got a lot done today in preparation for Monday. I think part of the issue is/was not being here to get things set up the way they need to be. I have one more day to tie up loose ends, then Monday we move her in...

jeaniem 08-24-2013 05:14 PM

Hope all goes well Lisa:hugs:

alex_in_wonderland 08-25-2013 12:09 AM

Good luck! You can do this! :up::hugs:

Biochic 08-25-2013 01:09 PM

I am as ready as I can possibly be at the point. Furniture is all moved, communication booklet is set up, bedroom is ready to go etc. we pick up the u haul tomorrow morning and the move should be completed by noon. Mom will be home soon after that. My sister is getting her from the rehab facility. Wish us luck.
I did go to the vitamin shop and purchase some kava for anxiety. Took one today and frankly, I'm feeling a little mellow!!

tobelowcarber 08-25-2013 01:11 PM

Good luck, Lisa! You can do it!!!

alex_in_wonderland 08-25-2013 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Biochic (Post 16574281)
I am as ready as I can possibly be at the point. Furniture is all moved, communication booklet is set up, bedroom is ready to go etc. we pick up the u haul tomorrow morning and the move should be completed by noon. Mom will be home soon after that. My sister is getting her from the rehab facility. Wish us luck.
I did go to the vitamin shop and purchase some kava for anxiety. Took one today and frankly, I'm feeling a little mellow!!

I've heard Kava can do that! We have a kava bar here in Portland, where they serve it in the coconut bowl as they do in Hawaii. I've not tried it yet but lots of folks report feeling mellow and a pleasant little buzz. Hope all goes well!

Biochic 08-27-2013 01:19 PM

And she's all moved in! The move itself went very well but there were glitches with her discharge and the live in care taker got off at a bus stop in NJ and was lost! She speaks very little English and could not tell me where she was:stars: thankfully she flag down a police office who called my cell phone and told me where she was. In the end it all worked out and mom had a safe night at home!

Feeling my way along....

jeaniem 08-28-2013 12:12 PM

Hopefully you will be able to relax soon and settle into the new normal.:hugs:

Biochic 08-28-2013 01:44 PM

Today was horrible:sad: mom is confused and agitated and was very nasty to the caretaker. Thankfully she doesn't understand English. I have been so upset all day. The good news is I'm so upset that I can hardly eat...never is binge.
Going to yoga tonight, hoping to get centered.

Patience 08-28-2013 01:49 PM

Sorry to hear that . . . . HOWEVER, you are doing exactly the right thing, taking a yoga break so that you can recenter. How did the caretaker "take" the nastiness?

tobelowcarber 08-28-2013 02:00 PM

Good idea on the yoga :hugs::hugs::hugs:

jeaniem 08-28-2013 02:11 PM

Sorry to hear that Lisa, hope the yoga relaxes you.

Biochic 08-28-2013 02:24 PM

Me too:sad:

Tomorrow will be better... She changes like the wind. Dementia has just robbed us of her....

Biochic 09-01-2013 04:23 AM

Nearly one full week and I believe the storm has passed. Thank u all for your support. I'm back to work beginning September 9th. I think that will help considerably....

tobelowcarber 09-01-2013 05:35 AM

Lisa, I am glad you were able to get through this very difficult time without reaching to food. Take care :hugs:

Biochic 09-01-2013 10:57 AM

Thanks you. Unfortunately I spoke too soon. Mom's aide walked out this morning. Mom is verbally abusive due to dementia.... I have someone else coming in tomorrow. Hoping for the best.

The silver lining?? So nauseous I can't think about eating.

Patience 09-01-2013 11:09 AM

Darn, Lisa, that is the pits.
Sending you big hug.


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