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Old 04-02-2013, 09:13 AM   #91
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Hi everyone!
I haven't checked this thread in a while so I'm way behind.

Michelle -- I LOVE your new sink!! It's so cool and modern. I wish I had the sort of house that it would fit into. Or even a room it would fit into, lol.

Welcome, Bella. And I'm so happy you changed your name. I'd feel terrible addressing someone as "fat" all the time.

kacee, I so hear you about sleeping. That was my biggest fear about even cutting back on my drinking. I've always had problems with sleep, even when I was a kid.

Mary, your stats are awesome and inspirational.

I'm five days AF. Three of those days were easy, because my older (and more severely autistic) daughter was visiting her grandparents and to be honest, her unpredictable and sometimes violent behavior is my biggest trigger for drinking. Worse, just knowing that she could melt down into an autistic tantrum at any time is a trigger for me. It's not a great situation, but three days of peace and quiet really helped my mental state. I'm ready to string together more AF days.
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Old 04-02-2013, 09:18 AM   #92
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Great job Michelle! I'm hoping to see 5 days soon. I'm on day 3. But I'm more determined than ever to stick with it.

I honestly, live in an old mobile home so that sort of sink doesn't really "fit into" it, but I completely gutted my bathroom and started from scratch and made it what I wanted it to be lol. IDC if I live in a mobile home, I can be modern and fancy. I'm also putting a chandelier in there at some point.
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Old 04-03-2013, 01:42 PM   #93
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You gutted your bathroom?? OMG, I just painted mine over the weekend and just that was so much work! By the time I was half-way done I was wishing I'd just left it the ugly poo-brown that it had been.

Six days AF. Every AF day does get a little easier.
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Old 04-03-2013, 04:07 PM   #94
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Nice going Michelle. I need to go back to my calendar and figure out when I started this stint of abstinence. I think Tuesday was my first drink free day, but I didn't start low carbing seriously until Thursday. I agree it's easier, although today I was stressed enough that my mind went to "a drink." But it was a short-lived urge. Let's keep at this.
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Old 04-03-2013, 04:16 PM   #95
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Day 4 here. I'm starting to get that craving taste in my mouth but im trying not to think about it.
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Old 04-03-2013, 07:00 PM   #96
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Congrats to all of us who are AF today. For those that are still trying...don't give up because the miracle is just around the corner.
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Old 04-04-2013, 06:36 AM   #97
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My cravings were so intense yesterday. Instead I snacked on on lc food all night until I went to bed. I guess it was better than drinking.
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Old 04-04-2013, 11:08 AM   #98
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Trying to keep my mind busy, I surf pinterest a lot. Mostly the food section. I like to find LC things. I just hate all the alcoholic beverages that pop up. I try to hurry and scroll down past them and then end up having to scroll past recipes. I wish there were a way to just block alcohol from the site lol.

In the same way I wish to come up with an invention for TV, to type in a persons name and they never pop up on my television again
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Old 04-04-2013, 04:31 PM   #99
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I hear you about the pinterest stuff. SO many drink photos in even the LC sections!

And I so wish so many TV shows didn't feature drinking! I'm not going to be able to watch Mad Men this year. For some reason, nothing makes me want to drink more than watching TV characters casually downing cocktails or drinking beer.

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Old 04-04-2013, 04:39 PM   #100
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Michelle I am the same exact way! Shows that drink make me want to drink. And there are certain shows I associate with drinking because that was me and bfs thing. Drink and watch particular shows.

But today, i get to put $2 in my tattoo jar! I'm AF AND just did an hour of intense body combat! I'm so proud of myself right now. Even with my personal life in ruins I did it!
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Old 04-04-2013, 06:26 PM   #101
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Hi, ladies. I came here tonight to clear up whatever confusion is going on. I decided to go back to drinking and I planned when I would do it by stopping the Antabuse a week before I got paid. I decided not to announce my decision here because I know it might influence one or more of you to do the same and that is the last thing I wanted to do. But it seems that by not making it clear that I was going to drink again and by going "over to the other side" and posting about my experiences on the drinking thread, some have reacted violently and posted serious objections.

So I decided to come here and "clear the air." I decided that for right now, for me, it is not something I want (total sobriety.) I am doing really well with my plan so far and it's not hindering my weight loss on Atkins at all. I feel wonderful, feel strong, am in control and it's all good.

Please don't worry about me. I am so good! And every single day, I will practice restraint with alcohol, the exact same way that I do with food. It's just another substance. It has no power over me unless I give it over to it. And I'm done doing that.

In fact, I hate when I've gotten a little too buzzed since I've started back drinking. I know where I enjoy the feeling and where it becomes unpleasant. I want to stay in that pleasant zone. That is where I'm at today.

Please be strong in your convictions, if they are indeed your convictions. I used to be a smoker and I can't tell you how many times I tried to quit when I really was still enjoying it. Each and every time I fell on my face. But when I was truly ready, it took. (Using patches and nicotene gum and giving it a LOT of time.) It finally took.

God bless each of you on your own personal journey. Love yourself and forgive yourself as often as you need to. Be truthful with yourself and decide what you can live with and live without. Is it worse to go completely without something you enjoy then to really learn to enjoy it in moderation? That's for you to decide. I have made my decision, for now.

The beauty of life is that we can always try something new. I want nothing but the best for each of us. Carry one!
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Old 04-04-2013, 06:28 PM   #102
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I restarted on antabuse today because my drinking was getting out of hand...again.

Usually I bounce between overeating a lot of sugar, or overdrinking while lowcarbing. Actually it goes like this: Eat a ton of sugar and carbs, start lowcarb no-drinking, then drink a little, then drink a lot, then quit drinking, start eating sugar and carbs again. See the circle?

I quit drinking for awhile last year (months) after a long drinking + lowcarb bout, and ended up putting on 30 pounds from eating carbs.

Sigh.

My happiest times are when I manage to stay lowcarb, and avoid alcohol. Period. Even if my lowcarb diet is a little "lax," with almonds and cheese and cream, as long as I don't drink I do well.

So that is my hope...and knowing antabuse as well as I do, if I take it for a couple weeks straight, I have to stay AF for at least eight weeks.

I could label myself as an alcoholic but my problems with refined sugar and carbohydrates are just as severe; if not worse. In fact, given the choice, I would always choose junk food over alcohol, I think alcohol was something I turned to because it was an "easy fuel" my brain convinced me was "legal" on a lowcarb diet.

I checked out the other thread and yeah, it was triggering.
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Old 04-05-2013, 04:50 AM   #103
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Hi moonmirror, they sure are connected in my mind too. I just know that my low carb won't work if I am drinking. One glass or wine or beer doesn't satisfy. I think a lot of us get sucked into the idea that we can drink and succeed low carb. Yes, that's true if we we can moderate intake and don't have issues with alcohol. But any attempts for me to drink moderately succeed in the very short term but always lead to more. Lesson learned. I am just not going to do it. It has also aggravated my weight issues, so any low carb diet for me must start with no alcohol. I learned never to say never, but to make it a deliberate highest priority goal. Have a great day everyone!
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Old 04-05-2013, 07:18 AM   #104
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My goal is to try to stay AF until the end of May. I know when I stop taking antabuse I will drink. That sounds insane, but its true. I just have no impulse control with it, its kind of like sugar that way. I wish there was a pill that made me horribly ill if I touched sugar!

I think I can make significant inroads with my general habits and my weight by summer if I stay away from it. I'm able to maintain weight loss with drinking, but I cannot lose weight.

Its hard, though...life sure does smack you in the face until you get used to total sobriety!
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Old 04-06-2013, 04:20 AM   #105
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Good luck to you all. I know when I drank, it always left me with headaches even on very small amounts and I didn't like the feeling. In some ways I am glad it didn't take much. But it wasn't the same with sugar and grains or food of any kind. I love to eat. It would make me sick but not horribly so for a couple of days. For me alcohol and sugars have to be removed from my life to maintain the physical life I have today, and to continue to grow emotionally and spiritually. It took me years before I came to that realization but once I accepted it, the whole process became easier. God willing, I will continue on sober & astinent from sugars & grains, one day a time.
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Old 04-06-2013, 07:16 AM   #106
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Anyhoo. Sorry guys was really busy yesterday, but I'm still ad. Today will be day 7! I will b ok as long as my "bf" stays away.
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Old 04-06-2013, 02:17 PM   #107
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After being a couple of weeks AF I had a small red wine last night( one measured serving). When I finished it I wanted more.

But I didnt have any

I'm not planning on having another until I reach my next target, since that glass meant I didnt complete my last goal of 10 days no cheats. I only made it to 6 my next goal is about 7 pounds away so I'll be a while.

Still, I am pleased I didnt have another glass.
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Old 04-07-2013, 07:11 AM   #108
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Well done on limiting the damage, lilbeetle. I find I can do a single glass, but the second somehow becomes easier to rationalize a few days later. Been down that road. Beware. You know that, I can tell.
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Old 04-09-2013, 05:37 AM   #109
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Two weeks in, not drinking. So far no huge cravings to drink. My focus has been more on sticking to my LC plan. My energy levels and moods fluctuate a bit, but so far nothing that doesn't pass fairly quickly. I feel like I've finally got a good restart, and pretty determined not to cave any time soon.

How's it going with you?
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Old 04-09-2013, 01:24 PM   #110
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I'm still AF. Day, ummm.........10 here. Just very busy with work.
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Old 04-11-2013, 09:56 AM   #111
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I'm still in the game.
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Old 04-12-2013, 08:57 AM   #112
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Well I caved for 2 days. But back on it yesterday, so today is day 2 AF.

Great job Bella. How is everything else?

Work has been so crazy busy for me I haven't had time to do anything.
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Old 04-12-2013, 10:25 AM   #113
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That's the ticket Michelle.
Persist.
I am going ok for now. I knowledge challenges will come.
I have dinner out tomorrow with friends, but I don't think that is going to be too difficult as they are not big drinkers. They may have wine or a glass of beer, but me not having any thing won't be noticed. A greek salad for me, water/tea or coffee. I am mentally prepared.
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Old 04-12-2013, 05:11 PM   #114
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I'm not sure if I really BELONG here, but after reading so many other people's stories on here I couldn't help but feel a connection I guess... there's just so many similarities between what I've struggled with, and what so many others have struggled with. Sometimes it's just important to remember that no matter what we're going through, we're never alone. There's always SOMEONE out there who can understand or relate on some level, you know?

Anyway, some of you probably already know me from the other boards... I don't think I ever really went out of my way to introduce myself or get into my (mostly previous) alcohol issues though, so I'll take some time to do it here.

My name's Melanie, I'm 27 years old... I grew up in a household with a father who was (and still IS) a heavy drinker. We're talking full blown alcoholic, drinks 7-8 beers a day EVERY day. I was introduced to alcohol at a VERY young age, taking sips off of my dad's beer or my mom's drink when she'd order one. I guess it's not a surprise that it became a problem for me too growing up.

I'm different though in the way that I don't feel like I was ever truly ADDICTED to drinking. I used it as a way of coping with things I didn't want to cope with (same with binging on food) and I used it to sleep, like a couple other people I noticed on this thread. I've been through so much in the past four years or so, that at times it was all I could do to get by... drinking until I forgot about it, that is. It really wasn't until I changed my WOE and started LC that I decided to cut it out of my life entirely. Last summer was one of the worst times for me emotionally, and I went out literally EVERY SINGLE NIGHT and got trashed... just last December I was drinking 1-2 bottles of wine every night before bed, just to forget how miserable I felt. I'm DEFINITELY an emotional drinker/eater

Anyway, the good news is... since I've been LC I've only had a glass of wine and a couple LC beers the ENTIRE stretch. This past month I've been completely AF, and I feel SO much better! It's been a little bit difficult for me, being around my father who drinks constantly... especially when I've felt myself sinking into that pit of depression with certain things that have happened to me lately. But I've somehow managed to remind myself that drinking is NOT the answer, and I've focused my attention on other things and gotten through it!

I hope that it's okay if I post here, even though I've never really been truly "addicted." I managed to quit cold turkey without any issues both times... my issue has never been with giving the booze up, it's been with actually choosing to face reality instead and acknowledge my problems versus finding a way to forget about them for the night, if that makes any sense.

You guys have been such an inspiration to me just reading the thread, and I wish you all continued success in staying sober! Sometimes it just helps to remember that we're not alone in this, and to read about what things keep OTHERS focused and on the right path

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Old 04-12-2013, 08:34 PM   #115
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Welcome, raindroproses...
We are all very similar, using food, alcohol, drugs, spending, etc to numb the feelings we have a hard time facing. Breaking down the situation into as many small steps as necessary I find helpful. When something was overwhelming, my DD reminded me that, Mom, just take the next right action. You don't have to do anymore than you can handle. She helped me wade through six years of bills and organize and file them. Today, at least I don't have to drink or eat over life. I can live life on life's terms. Hearing everyone's struggles and successes helps reinforce my resolve to do this one more day AF with food in its place.
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Old 04-13-2013, 09:39 AM   #116
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Kind of fits me, too. Drink to deal with emotions, both highs and lows.
My dad was alcoholic and I know that drill. I would say I have a drinking problem. Never missed a day of work from drinking and can only recall a couple hangovers in over 30 years. I function, but self-medicate. I can't do that any more. I don't want to. I must eat, though, so that's why I am on LCF unlike an alcohol support forum, because they are connected, but I must not drink to do well with the food.

I'll probably get addicted to this forum, so keep an eye on me.
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Old 04-13-2013, 11:42 AM   #117
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bella View Post
Kind of fits me, too. Drink to deal with emotions, both highs and lows.
My dad was alcoholic and I know that drill. I would say I have a drinking problem. Never missed a day of work from drinking and can only recall a couple hangovers in over 30 years. I function, but self-medicate. I can't do that any more. I don't want to. I must eat, though, so that's why I am on LCF unlike an alcohol support forum, because they are connected, but I must not drink to do well with the food.

I'll probably get addicted to this forum, so keep an eye on me.
Yes, this forum is addictive! I am saying thank you for my hangover this morning. My body is telling me that it can no longer tolerate the occasional 2 glasses of wine. I've got to quit doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I don't remember all the 5 steps to acceptance but I know that negotiation is one. I'm through with trying moderation. It's just not worth losing this beautiful Spring day by having a cloud hanging over my head.

Yes, I have said these words before. I'll keep writing them until they finally stick. Even those of us who limp are still moving forward.
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Old 04-13-2013, 12:00 PM   #118
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I think much like with food there are different paths for dealing with alcohol.
Some people do well with moderation. I can do it for a while, but then a slippery slope. Just not worth it. It's no longer a goal for me, although I understand the appeal. Not to say I won't stumble. It happens.
In my experience, rewarding not drinking with drinking just won't cut it for me.
But it can work for people who don't have issues with alcohol, and I say good for them.

Hope everyone is having a good day. Finally some sunshine here and that seems to make everything easier for me. Spring rocks! And so does this forum!
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Old 04-13-2013, 01:55 PM   #119
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Another weekend got thru without drinking. Funny really, I went out for dinner intending to order a small glass of wine but got side tracked by finding out I had inadvertantly been given normal coke, instead of the diet coke I had ordered.

Didnt even remember my intention until I got home
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Old 04-14-2013, 06:29 AM   #120
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I did ok with first night out since my restart 2 and half weeks ago.
It was easy, just some women friends. They all had beer or wine (except for the 90 year old mother of one of them), but I wasn't tempted. I just said I was trying to lose weight this spring, and that was all. (They were all too polite to say that this looked to be a good idea! I had a mediterranean salad, best thing I could find to eat on the menu. It had some olives and a few veggies, feta cheese, no damage to my eating plan. Skimpy but didn't leave me hungry. Gave the bit of bread to older mom, she was happy to have it.

So I'm in for another day. Sounds like you are tracking too, lilbeetle. Forgetting about having that drink is a good kind of mental lapse, eh?
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