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Old 02-21-2013, 01:27 PM   #151
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Hi ladies, great thread. I haven't posted on LCF in forever, but I so relate to this thread and had to pop in.

I am currently doing Whole30, and part of that is no alcohol whatsoever...so that has kept me motivated. I'm on day 7 right now, and really feeling the cravings today. I know I won't give in, because I am so determined to get through this 30 days.

I've read Drinking, A Love Story and Dry and both are great books. I've also read about 15-20 other books about alcoholism and addiction. If you need a list of good books to read, I can help.

Hang in there and never give up!
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Old 02-22-2013, 04:33 AM   #152
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My absence here = didn't do what I said ( restarting induction, no alcohol) I made it about 3 days got sick, how this equals me drinking??? Idk I guess once I was off track eating I started rationalizing that I might as well drink too. This week I've been better food wise, but not the clean 2 weeks I wanted!
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Old 02-22-2013, 06:26 AM   #153
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I've still been dieting and really started exercising. I have been 5 days AF, but the weekend is here and my softball team likes to have a beer or two after our games. I will adjust my carbs so I can have a couple with the team. I'm not weighing again until 2/28 because I have been at a stall for two weeks and I don't want to get discouraged.
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Old 02-22-2013, 08:30 AM   #154
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Ive been in and out with the alcohol. But I havent drank much when I do. I been so tired and exhausted from emotional life. I sit down, start on a drink, and fall asleep before its half gone. So eh, things could be worse.
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Old 02-22-2013, 01:18 PM   #155
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Hopefully things will be turning around for you soon Michelle. BTW - I saw your face shot progressions in the before and after pictures thread - absolutely AMAZING transformation!
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Old 02-23-2013, 11:18 AM   #156
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Okay. Going to step up to the plate and join with you ladies. I found this thread just by looking down the list of "new posts", not by being on the Addiction Support forum. I started reading just out of curiosity because I also have the same issues. I read down the first page and decided this was going to be one of those threads where people say they are going to go AF and then later on post that they messed up.

I skipped to the last page and read some more. I realized how much I belong here with y'all and I hope you have room for one more person who really loves to drink but knows that she needs to find an appropriate way to "use it." I don't like not being able to partake when out in social situations. I hate the thought of saying, "No thank you. I don't drink" when everyone I'm with is enjoying an ice-cold beer or a glass of wine or a fancy cocktail. I don't want to live that kind of life. It's not me and I know it's unsustainable.

For instance, just two weeks from now, I'm going to a fund raising event for a therapeutic riding center I work at. The manager said that we will start "cocktail hour" before the Ball and then drive over to the Gala (it's just across the street.) Now, if I weren't drinking, I couldn't join in with them before the party. I mean, if I wasn't a drinker, then it wouldn't feel like I wasn't drinking. But since I AM a drinker, the absence of drinking is glaringly apparent. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

So, then I'm thinking about how to manage drinking during the 5-hour fund raiser. The bar is a cash bar so that alone will limit how much I drink. But if there are generous people there buying rounds, I don't want to get trashed in front of these people who only know me as the hard-working and reliable barn worker with the great attitude. I don't want them to think of me differently than they already do.

So I'm thinking wine spritzers. But then I'm thinking that if I do that, I "won't be getting my money's worth" cause they'll charge me for the drink as though it were a full glass of wine. Isn't that nuts? But that's the insanity that we deal with when we know we have an unhealthy relationship with booze.

"Normal people" don't worry about things like this. They don't try to make rules to set boundaries and limits on their drinking. They don't keep booze out of their homes so it won't be calling to them. They just drink when others are drinking (social setting) or they don't drink at all. Maybe they'll pour a glass after an especially hard day when they want to relax and unwind. But not daily and not habitually. In other words, not the way we want to drink.

So if you have room for one more person who wants to learn to regulate and not live without, I'd like to join you.
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Old 02-23-2013, 11:20 AM   #157
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PS: I have "Drinking: A love story" on my Kindle and I enjoyed reading that very much. I bought "Dry: A memoir" and that is coming any day now. Thanks to whoever wrote about it here. That's where I heard of it.
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Old 02-23-2013, 11:30 AM   #158
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PS #2: I have gone without drinking for several years at a time a few times in my life. But I started drinking at 13 or so. I had a rough childhood and as soon as the opportunity presented itself, I took it. Soon afterward I was doing "other things", too. I drank until 21, then stopped for about 3 years. Started up again when I moved in with a much older man who liked to go dancing. I was very afraid of dancing so beer helped me loosen up.

I drank for a bunch of years after that. Since returning to CT, I had a 2 year and 6 month absence from drinking which ended the night before I was to start a new job. I just was so full of anxiety that I couldn't take it anymore. It was Father's Day and I went to the local bar/restaurant up the road (Texas themed place) and had a couple cold draft beers and some fried Calamari. And then the genie was out of the bottle and I've been drinking regularly ever since. That was in the summer of 2008.

I go for a few weeks at times without drinking, so I guess I'm a binge drinker just the way I'm a binge eater. When I'm good, I'm oh so good. When I'm bad, I'm horrid.
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Old 02-24-2013, 04:43 AM   #159
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Welcome Cheryl and thanks for sharing your story. I completely get what you are saying with the social scenario. I can't even imagine going out and not not drinking, why bother? I know this is very dysfunctional but seriously I would not want to sit at some party sipping water. I would be so uptight and just want to leave. The people in my life, family, coworkers, they are all about drinking too. I have 1 sister who gets frustrated by it she drinks but cannot believe most of the people in her life are daily drinkers and one friend who drinks just lightly socially. Literally everyone else I am close to drinks daily or close to it.
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Old 02-24-2013, 09:19 AM   #160
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Well, that's not the case with me. I have one sister who drinks regularly but she does it primly (is that a word?) when at a family function and drinks more at home. I don't talk to her often due to her work schedule and my "I don't do mornings" body rhythm, but she used to slur a lot when trying to relax enough to get some sleep after her job.

Mom drinks but also in a very measured way when out with family. I think we all tend to let down our hair more when we're back home in our lairs. So for me, I tend to be the drinker in the room when there's a family function. Kind of sucks.

I think the older you get, the less your body can handle or process the alcohol. Maybe it's because you're pretty pickled but that time of your life and rather than the booze being filtered through the liver, all that ethanol goes straight to what's left of your brain cells.
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Old 02-26-2013, 02:36 PM   #161
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I started drinking on a daily basis about 3 years ago. Up to that point dieting was a breeze for me, my drink of choice is wine also. I think part of that is because I could pretend it's not alcohol, after all its classy and lady like with the pretty glasses.

I managed to stay a decent size for about a year, but I busted my butt to do it. Sometimes running 18 miles so I could drink that large bottle every evening, but it didn't stop there, I would start raiding the cupboards after a couple glasses. I also did all this damage in 2 hours after my kids went to sleep. I was hitting sometimes 1500 calories in those 2 hours, then going to sleep....well passing out

You can guess what happens next, I gained 30 lbs in 2 years. I exercise everyday, but it only helped to maintain this gain, I hate this fat, I feel so depressed, so what do I do? I drink more wine, I am "happy" while I am drinking it, but then the guilt and feelings of failure kick in the next day.

I tried to cut back, or skip days, and I would make it a couple, then just binge. A year and a half ago I quit smoking using Allen Carrs book, so I bought "Allen Carr's Easy Way to Control Alcohol", to see if it would help.

I can't believe it, but it worked, not only have I not had a drop of wine in 9 days, but I don't even want or crave it anymore either. The benefits are ....4lbs lost in 9 days, I am actually sleeping, my workouts are amazing because I am not dehydrated and hung over, my bloated face is dissapearing, and I feel proud, the 1st time in a very long time

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Old 02-26-2013, 07:16 PM   #162
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That's what I can't understand! How do alcoholics end up wasted away and only interested in their next drink? Booze stimulates my appetite and it makes everything I eat taste so much better than it does when I'm not "imbibing." Crazy weird.

Wanna hear something funny? I'm so impulsive that tonight I was driving home from my job and heard a country song by Toby Keith. Something to the gist of, "I love a woman who drinks beer." I hadn't planned on having a drink tonight but suddenly the thought of buying 2 24-oz Coors Light's sounded like a fine idea. After all, work sucked and I had plenty of reasons to want to reward myself. So off I went and bought two large beers.

I'm nearly finished with the second can and I must say, I'm glad I went and bought them. I did indeed earn my liquid dinner. Oy!

Wow! I never heard of Allen Carr before but that's pretty high-praise. WTG, Kelly! So is not drinking indefinitely your goal or do you want to be able to harness the desire and just drink on special occasions?

I've never found a correlation between drinking and weight gain or loss. Other than food tastes better when under the influence, so I probably eat a bit more when tipsy. But when I stop drinking, the weight doesn't come off any easier than if I was still drinking but trying to cut back on calories or doing low carb, or whatever. It's just at home on my body and it's not going anywhere soon.
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Old 02-27-2013, 04:02 AM   #163
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My goal was to be able to moderate the alcohol responsibly, but after reading the book, I dont even want it. I realize its my poison. I thought it was my happiness, but in reality it was my misery. I am down another 2lbs...the weight is just falling off now, I am feeling so good!
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Old 02-27-2013, 05:03 AM   #164
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Good for you Kelly! I'm may look for the book. So
I didn't drink Monday but had 2 glasses of wine last night. I stopped at dinner and that feels good to me. Give me the chance to unwind, but then have water, relax, get things done and sleep good. But... Had I had more I probably would have drank more.
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Old 03-01-2013, 04:35 AM   #165
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2 nights this week, 2 glasses of wine. Other than that, which even that I'm feeling food about, I followed plan. Down 1lb from last week, took me at least 4 days to recover from my wayward weekend. Hoping To stay on track through the weekend. I joined a down 7lbs in march challenge and thinks that's a reasonable goal.
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Old 03-02-2013, 07:55 AM   #166
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It's been awhile...checkin' in

I have been drinking less, although not as little as I want. I joined a 90 day low carb challenge on Facebook, and I want to do my best.. which means only drinking wine when I am out socializing. I am serious! No more drinking at home...sigh. I hope my brain heard that!
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Old 03-02-2013, 08:38 AM   #167
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2 weeks tomorrow I feel great!
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Old 03-02-2013, 12:43 PM   #168
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WTG, ladies! I got my copy of "Dry: A Memoir" today in the mail. Thanks to whoever mentioned it before. I will be chipping away at it and I'm sure it will make me re-evaluate my stance on drinking. It's a love affair that really is one-sided. And it costs so much! In more ways than just monetarily, too. Much to think about.

Drinking wine presently. Had a few icy cold beers over the past 2 or 3 days. Need to get this weight off so I need to really cut way back on the routine of drinking. If it weren't so "routine" it would be manageable.

Have any of you ever gone on Antabuse? I asked my Dr to put me on it a few months ago and I took it for about a month (just before Christmas was my one-month mark) and I started to wonder if it was partly to blame for my deepening generalized sadness or a kind of "disconnect" from other people. I decided it was the Antabuse so I cut it back to taking it every Monday-Wednesday-Friday.

Then I started getting incredibly absent-minded, doing things like locking keys in cars, etc. Just really stupid stuff. It was completely not characteristic for me so I just stopped taking it altogether. I'm thinking of giving it one more shot, now that the holidays are over. Maybe it wasn't the drug at all. It's worth another shot.

And the really cool thing about Antabuse is I can turn it "on and off." If I'm going on a nice vacation or going out to a fancy dinner or something, I can stop taking it a week in advance and then enjoy the festivities, and get back on it when it's behind me. I know that is going to cause some people to think that's a really bad way to use it, but it's an option.

I'm rambling now so I'm going to go catch up on my other threads. Hugs to everyone out there, whether you are cutting back or abstaining. Even if you are not holding back much at all in the present moment. We have each other.
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Old 03-03-2013, 06:10 AM   #169
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I am AF and so is my husband. He has over 25 years but the five years before that were a struggle. I don't drink out of respect for him and because it affects my decision-making skills around food. It is a family struggle - addiction - that is. The way it was explained to me is that the disease of addiction is not a moral issue, it is like any other disease and can go into remission but is doing pushups outside waiting for me to weaken. The substance I am addicted to can change if I don't get treatment for the addiction itself. So when I stopped smoking, I gained 50 lbs. My husband and I stay busy and don't bring it into the house. We hike, read, work and spend time witht the family. We are working on recognizing our feelings instead of numbing them with food or drugs or alcohol.

It is the same as when I stopped eating sugar and grain. I felt like it fermented into alcohol in my body because I would have so much pain, Swelling and gas. Most alcohol is made from sugar and grain. Going through withdrawal is really hard. It is easier to say "No thank you" to the first sip, bite or pill, than it is to stop taking the second sip, bite or pill.

I am an addict, no doubt about it. I read the book in AA in 1979 and brought it home to my husband. We both identified with the stories and the cycle of addiction. I don't want to pick up again. I am sober and abstinent today from alcohol, sugars and grain and am grateful for the remission one day at a time. The support groups and other like-minded folks give me the positive Energy and hooe that I can do it.
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Old 03-03-2013, 07:11 AM   #170
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CherylB – I have not tried antabuse or other types of medications but I know that many people do find meds helpful. There is a program called My Way Out (google it) that has detailed info on all the different prescription and natural/herbal meds and where to get them if you can’t get a doctor to prescribe them. Let us know how you like the book. I put it on my Wish List at amazon. I am almost afraid to read it because I don’t want to quit entirely. I want to enjoy it in moderation when socializing. It is a problem for me for health reasons and weight loss. But, I am not ready to give it up. I would like to someday get to the point where I can take it or leave it in any situation.

MaryMary – good to see you on this thread and hear your words of wisdom! (I am coming back to the boards after some time off to regroup and am sure I’ll see you on other threads… sigh…). You and DH are so lucky to have each other and enjoy the same things. Here at my house we struggle with things to do together that don’t include food and booze. I have many hobbies and interests, but not DH. When we are healthier we can enjoy hiking again because we live in a beautiful natural area with 40 miles of hiking trails out our back door. But, other than that, so much of what we do involves sinful stuff. DH is currently okay with non-alcoholic O’Douls beer (I am very proud of him for being AF for 35 days!!) and I am trying to limit my wine intake.. with a plan to totally eliminate it at home. Just out when I am socializing.

Congrats to those who are meeting their Alcohol (and other) related goals!!
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Old 03-03-2013, 10:44 AM   #171
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Originally Posted by MaryMary View Post
I am AF and so is my husband. He has over 25 years but the five years before that were a struggle. I don't drink out of respect for him and because it affects my decision-making skills around food. It is a family struggle - addiction - that is. The way it was explained to me is that the disease of addiction is not a moral issue, it is like any other disease and can go into remission but is doing pushups outside waiting for me to weaken. The substance I am addicted to can change if I don't get treatment for the addiction itself. So when I stopped smoking, I gained 50 lbs. My husband and I stay busy and don't bring it into the house. We hike, read, work and spend time witht the family. We are working on recognizing our feelings instead of numbing them with food or drugs or alcohol.

It is the same as when I stopped eating sugar and grain. I felt like it fermented into alcohol in my body because I would have so much pain, Swelling and gas. Most alcohol is made from sugar and grain. Going through withdrawal is really hard. It is easier to say "No thank you" to the first sip, bite or pill, than it is to stop taking the second sip, bite or pill.

I am an addict, no doubt about it. I read the book in AA in 1979 and brought it home to my husband. We both identified with the stories and the cycle of addiction. I don't want to pick up again. I am sober and abstinent today from alcohol, sugars and grain and am grateful for the remission one day at a time. The support groups and other like-minded folks give me the positive Energy and hooe that I can do it.
What a wonderful testimony! What is "GS NMW"? I see that in your WOE data. You've done so amazingly well in kicking all your addictions to the curb and I am really inspired to read your story. How wonderful that you and hubby are on the same page! That makes it so much easier, not that it was ever easy.

Thanks so much for posting this! And God bless you and hubby.

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Old 03-03-2013, 10:56 AM   #172
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CherylB – I have not tried antabuse or other types of medications but I know that many people do find meds helpful. There is a program called My Way Out (google it) that has detailed info on all the different prescription and natural/herbal meds and where to get them if you can’t get a doctor to prescribe them. Let us know how you like the book. I put it on my Wish List at amazon. I am almost afraid to read it because I don’t want to quit entirely. I want to enjoy it in moderation when socializing. It is a problem for me for health reasons and weight loss. But, I am not ready to give it up. I would like to someday get to the point where I can take it or leave it in any situation.

MaryMary – good to see you on this thread and hear your words of wisdom! (I am coming back to the boards after some time off to regroup and am sure I’ll see you on other threads… sigh…). You and DH are so lucky to have each other and enjoy the same things. Here at my house we struggle with things to do together that don’t include food and booze. I have many hobbies and interests, but not DH. When we are healthier we can enjoy hiking again because we live in a beautiful natural area with 40 miles of hiking trails out our back door. But, other than that, so much of what we do involves sinful stuff. DH is currently okay with non-alcoholic O’Douls beer (I am very proud of him for being AF for 35 days!!) and I am trying to limit my wine intake.. with a plan to totally eliminate it at home. Just out when I am socializing.

Congrats to those who are meeting their Alcohol (and other) related goals!!
That is exactly how I feel about drinking, too. I know I'd be better off without it but the brat within doesn't want to live in a world of "no." I want what I want when I want it, but I want to have control of the wanting. Therein lies the real problem. The wanting.

I used to love O'Douls! Where I live, they never have a sale for those, and they only sell them in six packs. It's so stupid, really. Do they think if they sold them in a 12-pack or by the case that someone would down them faster to get a buzz? And why don't they ever put them on sale? Is that promoting those in recovery to start up again with the NA brews? Ludicrous.

Anyway, WTG for hubby being AF for 35 days and counting! I hope you both can begin to enjoy the great outdoors. It's such a blessing to live in a lovely place. I am guilty of not taking advantage of the things I have to enjoy that are all around me, too. I want to make that change as well.

I think I've made a decision. I am going to start taking the Antabuse on March 11. I will have my last drink on Saturday at a big fund-raiser for the place I work at. I want to be able to have a few drinks at that big "gala." Then I'll start the Antabuse again and see how far I can get with it. Like I said, I can use it to just stop the routine of drinking, and then stop taking it for a couple of weeks for special occasions that arise.

I have to tell you, when I drink, food tastes so much better to me. And because I'm loosened-up from the booze, I have little control over what I eat. It's making weight loss a very difficult proposition and I really am under a time-crunch. Winter is coming to an end and I need to get my body back in control. I need to fit into smaller clothes and I need to be able to handle my very physical job.

So knowing all of these things, the wisest choice of action is to restart the Antabuse and really focus on weight loss and fitness. So, it's a date.
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Old 03-03-2013, 02:10 PM   #173
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I read through most of the posts on this thread, and as of last Sunday, have started my own little journey into quitting (well, minimizing) my booze habit.

My liquor of choice is rum (Castille Silver when I'm being budget conscious, although I've come to enjoy it much more than Bacardi). My beer of choice is Heineken, but it's been months since I've had that.

I don't qualify as an alcoholic, but I'm definitely an alcohol abuser. After being unemployed for a few months, the boredom and general anxiety just get to me so it becomes a "why not drink?" It wouldn't be a nightly thing, but I'd drink an entire fifth about one night a week. Then I wouldn't drink again for about 7-10 days, and the process would repeat itself. Luckily other than a few completely idiotic arguments, and a cooking accident while trying to dice onions (led to a small slit on my arm lol), I haven't had any serious negative consequences from this (no legal problems, no beating anyone up, nothing other than being silly and making a goof of myself). Of course, that's why I have to stop now in case it could ever escalate to that (I know myself so I really doubt it would, but we're talking about an impairing substance so you never know).

My biggest thing is still the boredom, but because I am now taking my weight loss very seriously, I am resolving to stop. However, I understand how bad of a habit it can be to kick! I suppose one benefit I have is that unlike some of you, alcohol kills my appetite, so I don't eat when I drink and have virtually no appetite the next day. Of course, I'm still taking in all those empty calories in the drinking process (and often drinking on an empty stomach), so the results obviously aren't the best.

At around 11:30PM today, I'll be at the 7 day mark--I'm hoping to make it to March 30 without any booze whatsoever (I am attending a concert on that date so there will be some drinking no doubt), and also hoping that I'll see some changes (i.e. an increase) in my weight loss.

It's nice to know I'm not completely alone in this habit, which most of my friends don't even see in as much of a negative light as I do, and I understand those stuck in the same, or even worse, situations with their relationship with alcohol. It seems support from a truly understanding crowd helps advance the goals of reducing or stopping alcohol altogether.
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Old 03-03-2013, 02:19 PM   #174
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Welcome Hayek!! I also like rum.. either Captain Morgan or coconut in the white bottle (brain cramp..).. I also drink as an activity, but not as much anymore since DH has quit. I no longer want to look at it as an activity, but rather as something to slightly enhance an activity. It's amazing that you aren't inclined to eat with it. Good luck on your 30 day AF campaign! After my glass of wine today I hope to be AF until next weekend when I have several things coming up..
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Old 03-03-2013, 02:21 PM   #175
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I believe that would be Malibu

Yeah, I've always used the appetite-killing effect of alcohol as a reason that drinking was a bit more ok! lol.

I actually miss regular wine in-take the most, but the way I can go through a bottle makes it quite costly for my current budget. However, when I drink wine or beer, I don't down it the same way I do liquor. I usually just stop at a buzz and feel done with it. Especially beer--as it makes me feel extremely full after a glass/bottle or two.

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Old 03-03-2013, 05:35 PM   #176
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Hayek! I'm wishing I was more like you in some ways. If I could "stop at a buzz" I wouldn't be on this thread at all. Jealous that you have an anorexic effect from booze, too. Lucky you!
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Old 03-03-2013, 05:58 PM   #177
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Well don't worry, it's only with beer and wine that I can stop at a buzz! Liquor goes down like water and too quickly. And so far I'm the only person I've ever met that has alcohol kill off their appetite, but surely there must be plenty of others out there with that impact! (I used to groan when all my friends did their drunken runs to Taco Bell lol)
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Old 03-03-2013, 06:11 PM   #178
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When I was reading Atkins years ago, I thought that he said that any alcohol will interfere with the body's ability to lose weight, as it first needs to burn off the calories from the alcohol before it starts using the other calories. The last time I tried a glass of merlot at a meal, i woke up the next day with a wicked headache. It just reinforced that it isn't worth it.
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Old 03-03-2013, 06:18 PM   #179
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(Drunken run to Taco Bell)

Mary(Mary), Dr A did say that the body burns off the alcohol first and that it stops the release of a fat-mobilizing hormone better than anything else. Alcohol is metabolized like a carbohydrate, even though it's not listed as a carb.

When I was in my 30's and doing Atkins for the first time, I was able to lose 40 lbs over 4 months and did it while drinking vodka and crystal light (daily.) And I had my fair share of cheats. These days when I've tried to lose that way while still drinking, it just ain't working anymore.
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Old 03-03-2013, 06:26 PM   #180
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I guess that's another lack of deterrent for my drinking... I rarely get hangovers. At most I'm just a little slow moving for the first few hours in the day, but no headaches or nauesa or anything extreme.

Last time I had one was when I was 22 - and it was after four bottles of red wine and very little water.

Regarding Atkins, it depends on which type of alcohol. Certain ones have no carbs, and it is allowed in moderation in certain phases, but it will get used first before fat burns, however, the book says to stop using it if you notice your weight loss stop. At least if I recall correctly, I haven't picked it up in a bit.

For me, I want to cut it out completely in being serious about weight loss (at least compared to my current habit), but I imagine for some, it might make no impact--hence the flexibility.

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