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Old 05-30-2013, 06:05 AM   #241
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Rubi, it seems to me that you have done some really quality thinking. I'd encourage you to change I can lose weight but I can't keep it off. to I can lose weight and keep it off.

I can relate to the multisized jeans drawer, but I tossed my 8 and 10s because they just made me feel bad. It is so easy to think we can just eat like we want, when in fact we can't. I fall into phases of thinking I've somehow become exceptional in that regard, and the reality comes crashing back in. I think it great that you now understand you are not a bad person. I think "normal" is a bit over-rated . . . most people have challenges that we don't even know about.

Thanks for a great post. I could really relate to a lot of it. I have made up my mind my way of eating is something I can work with for a long time. I KNOW I will face challenges, but my goal is not to resume eating the way "normal" people eat.
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Old 05-30-2013, 01:00 PM   #242
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?...my goal is not to resume eating the way "normal" people eat.
An, I think you may be on to something here Bella! In our quest to be normal we undermine all our hard work!!
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Old 06-01-2013, 12:11 PM   #243
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Hi everyone,
I had to go away for a few days because my floors were being sanded and varnished and the stuff is toxic. And it was lovely to come back home and hear from you all. Thank you all for being so welcoming and supportive.
My lifelong yo-yo weight gain/loss and my binge eating behaviour began when I was about 11 or 12 when I was about 10lbs overweight and my mother put me on a calorie counting diet. I know she was well intentioned so Iím not blaming her. But I think I was just too young to really understand and it warped my perspective around food.
Anyway, lately Iíve been thinking about how ďbeing on a dietĒ sets me up for failure.

I think it has to do with the idea of being perfect. So I was either perfect on my diet (and by implication a golden girl) or a very bad, dirty girl because I ate something I shouldnít have. But feeling so bad because I ate say, just one biscuit wasnít fair so I might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb and eat the whole packet, then hide the evidence by rushing out and buying another packet and eating as many of those that I needed to so there were the same amount of biscuits as before I started and nobody would ever know what a bad girl I was.
But nobody on this earth is perfect.
So I have created rules for myself for those days when I am only human with all the frailties and weaknesses which is our lot.
My emotional mind game challenge is to just eat one biscuit. And still love myself. Not every day, just occasionally when I absolutely think Iím going to die if I just donít have one of those biscuits that everybody else is eating, when everybody else is eating them. (Rather than attack the leftover biscuits after everybody has gone and eat the lot)
So in a way, I have written this biscuit into my eating plan.
But I have rules.
Firstly I recognise that I am probably on the verge of a full scale binge because of my feelings of deprivation and eating just one biscuit before those feelings get out of hand MUST prevent that from happening. In other words if I eat this biscuit, I am not allowed to eat anything else out of my eating plan that day. So, I tell myself that for those few moments in time while I eat that biscuit I have stepped away from my weight loss eating plan but as soon as that biscuit is gone I will step right back into it.
Secondly, I tell myself that eating this biscuit may set my weight loss back a day or 2 and that I am going to be O.K. with that. (This is where not having scales helps....because I wonít be carrying guilt and recriminations forwards tomorrow when I get on the scales)
And lastly, I tell myself that I will only have one and that this one biscuit is a massive, one-of, out of the ordinary treat and I will not gobble it but I will eat it slowly and enjoy every mouthful rather than allow feelings of guilt to destroy the taste. And I do.

So far so good. But I do need to say that while this is working for me, it is an emotional challenge and I guess that I have been through so many much worse emotional challenges in my life that I seem to be able to manage this without too much difficulty.
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Old 06-02-2013, 05:13 AM   #244
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I read this whole thread last night. All I can say is WOW. I can relate to so much of what has been posted. I could have written so many of these posts myself. I have been so frustrated much of the time in the last 3+ years. It is so good to read this thread and be reminded I am not alone. That feeling of isolation is crazy making!

A summary of my eating history....

Mid Teen years - For some reason when I was a freshman or sophmore in high school, I decided to go on a "diet." I didn't need to diet. I was a child athlete. I spent as many as 5 hours a day (at my mothers direction - a real issue) at the gym. I figured out as I lost weight I didn't need to lose that I enjoyed having control over something (my mother controlled everything else in my life). I developed annorexia, but was never treated for it. At 5'8" I got down to 104 pounds. Since all my mother could manage was to cry and beg me to eat (which I loved refusing) I'm very grateful that somehow, something snapped me out of that mode. If my recollection is correct, it was a banana split from dairy queen. Considering my life long issues with sugar or alcohol after that, I guess it makes sense.

Late teens / early 20's - drinking alcohol provided the social relief I was seeking. I was hooked. My eating was also disrupted (I'm sure from the undereating period) and I was a carbaholic. My early college years were marked by a lot of drinking, and a lot of late night binging. This all led to me being overweight for the first time in my life.

Mid 20's - I discovered that if I was active, and if I skipped a lot of meals (and kept drinking a lot) I could somewhat control the weight. So this pattern continued through my 30's.

In my early 40's I hit the wall and my weight skyrocketed to over 200. I lost weight the first time on Atkins at about 43? years old or so. (can't recall exactly.) I was still drinking but was able to cut back on that enough for low carb to work. I got down to about 148-150 which is a perfect weight for me where I feel fantastic. I maintained it for well over a year.

I remember exactly when I lost it. I was on a vacation at an all inclusive resort in Jamaica. (a work prize trip - fabulous!!) The dessert tables were sooooo gorgeously laid out and tempting. I decided it would be OK to have dessert while on vacation. YIKES!!! That woke up my sugarcarby addiction big time. I struggled and struggled but gradually became less and less low carb and ended up gaining all the weight back.

In 2007 I decided I needed to quit drinking. That was a struggle and I was not successful at totally quitting until May of 2008. During that time I also got back on the low carb (except for the alcohol) bandwagon but I was not able to lose any weight. Someone recommended I read a Suzanne Somers book. I did, and ended up getting my hormones tested and am still on BHRT and thyroid support. On May 21, 2008 I had my last alcohol drink and got serious about low carb and exercise. I got back down to my ideal weight of 148-150. Only took me about 6 months. Once again, I maintained for over a year.

Then I started working with a personal trainer trying to get in even better shape (I was already doing resistance training). This trainer recommendeds eating plans for his clients. I argued with him about adding carb laden sweet foods as post workout meals. He insisted I needed to do that after working out. OMG. I have battled sugarcarbies ever since.

I will also mention that during my drinking years, my carb attraction would be to savory/salty carbs. (pizza, crackers, bread, etc.) I never really had a sweet tooth since childhood. So I thought I outgrew that. NOT. Since I no longer drink alcohol, my sweet tooth rages. I've heard it said that "alcohol is the jet fuel of all sugars" and at least in my case, I believe it.

I can't believe how easy it is to fall back into carb purgatory. Just writing this summary I am shocked by how obvious it is I'm a carb junkie, and yet I have repeatedly tried in recent years to get my eating under control with something other than a LC eating plan. (WW)

It's time I fully accept that I will never be able to eat carb laden foods with control. I really want to get back on the wagon. It really is hard. I think the mental battle is the worst of it.

I've enjoyed reading all of your posts and I hope we can all be successful beating the binge monster. I was so grateful to come here after a long absence and find people talking so openly and honestly about this problem.

I'm off to have some bacon and eggs. I also posted to the 30 day challenge and I intend for this to be Day 1.

Thank you all for being here and putting yourselves out here.

DG
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Old 06-02-2013, 05:59 AM   #245
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Thank you for sharing your story. I too believe that I have a carb addiction problem. Just like the alcoholic is allergic to alcohol (liquid form of fermented sugars & grains), I am allergic to the solid forms...specifically sugars, grains and most all carbs except fruit, vegetables and the carbs in proteins.
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Old 06-02-2013, 06:37 AM   #246
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Hi MaryMary. I have enjoyed reading your posts and reading about the parallels you draw between alcohol addiction and food addiction. Congratulations on your amazing weight loss and even more amazing - the fact you have kept it off for so many years. I hope I can find my way to lasting maintenance as you have.

Thank you for being an active part of this thread. I really look up to you.

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Old 06-02-2013, 06:49 AM   #247
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Doggy, you should give that personal trainer a demerit on Angie's list!
Just kidding, but really! Sounds you know know what is going to work for you.

"alcohol is the jet fuel of all sugars" . . haven't heard this but it resonates, that is what wine did for me. I've learned to ignore all the one glass a day is ok stuff . . . not for me!
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Old 06-02-2013, 06:54 AM   #248
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Rubi, I hope the one biscuit a day thing continues to work for you. For me it would be too much "tempting fate." Like 3 oz of wine! I could do it for a while, but it just leads me to no good place.
Is biscuit a cookie as we tend to say in US? Or are you meaning biscuit such as those wonderful home made fat laden breakfast things? Both are off my list of acceptable food, just curious.
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Old 06-02-2013, 10:19 AM   #249
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Doggy, you should give that personal trainer a demerit on Angie's list!
Just kidding, but really! Sounds you know know what is going to work for you.

"alcohol is the jet fuel of all sugars" . . haven't heard this but it resonates, that is what wine did for me. I've learned to ignore all the one glass a day is ok stuff . . . not for me!
Hi Bella! LOL My list of stuff I cannot have "just one" of has grown pretty long over the years!!

It probably came off like I was blaming the PT for the fall from the wagon. I don't really mean it that way. I had all the evidence from my previous experience diving into the desserts on vacation to tell me I would NOT be able to stop with the sugar once I started. I should have just said "no." I wasn't treating this like an addiction and that was a huge mistake that has caused me to struggle like crazy for what... 3 years I think now.

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Old 06-02-2013, 10:51 AM   #250
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Hi doggy-

I also consider myself carb addicted. I have to abstain completely. One cookie would send me on a bender for months

I tolerate alcohol but I am mindful of what and how much/ often I drink. My resolves is weakened by the buzz of alcohol so in order to stay clean with my eating I choose not to indulge in alcohol very often.

Welcome and thanks for sharing
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Old 06-02-2013, 11:40 AM   #251
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Bella, yes a biscuit is a cookie. (In Australia) Weird isn’t it? We speak the same language almost all the time and then...
As for my last post, I actually made it in response to Biochic (Hi Biochic) who said that once she had broken she was off and running. Because I was the same and this has helped me not do that anymore.(and nothing else ever has)
I got the idea from the phrase “fail to plan, plan to fail” because while I’d seen that bandied about I misinterpreted it and so I “planned to fail” by accepting the fact that I probably would fail by falling of the no carb wagon again (after almost 50 years I can’t even count how many times I have fallen off the wagon) but that this time I would have a strategy in place for dealing with it, rather than going out in a full scale binge, regaining heaps of weight, feeling bad about myself etc etc.
Actually, many years ago I had to do the same thing with alcohol. I just couldn’t give it up. But I couldn’t carry on drinking the way I was either. So I limit myself to 3 times a week, buying one bottle of wine and sharing it with Hubby. For me it was either that or I hate to think.
So for me it really is a matter of riding the tiger or letting the tiger ride me.
But I was in 2 minds about my last post because I worried that maybe sharing my personal solutions to my problems could be undermining or sabotaging for those of you on this forum who are actually managing to stay clean because I am really a little in awe of those of you who have actually managed to beat your addictions.
However knowing myself and at my age now, in all honesty, I need to acknowledge and declare that I am not strong enough to completely beat my addictions and beating myself up about it only causes my addictions to spiral way out of control. The very best that I can do is put strategies in place in response to my personal emotional weaknesses and which help me stay in the driver’s seat.
So this time I am not on a diet. I am on an eating plan for the rest of my life. I do a healthy locarb high protein plan because that suits my body and is the best way to lose weight but because of my alcohol intake, I probably don’t do ketosis, so I don’t do much in the way of animal fats but I use olive oil liberally.
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Old 06-02-2013, 11:57 AM   #252
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I believe in what ever works!
We are all just so different. I doubt mentioning a cookie or biscuit will trigger anyone, but you never know. Talk of alcohol does trigger some people, but not me. I sometimes avoid situations where alchohol is served, sometimes not. I hosted a wine and cheese fundraiser and didn't drink, which was a good test for me. But I know talk about favorite alcoholic concoctions can trigger some people. We have a non drinking thread set up that doesn't engage in that sort of chit chat.
If talk of a cookie is a trigger, people can (will!) speak up.

Last edited by Patience; 06-02-2013 at 12:00 PM..
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Old 06-02-2013, 12:19 PM   #253
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rubi - I totally identified with your post about perfectionism and the extremes - good/bad, black/white, etc. I tend to chase perfection (which is basically impossible, right?) and then when I fail to measure up (which is always - because perfection is impossible, right?) then I blast off in the other direction (rebellion). What a viscious cycle!! So I too have to be cautious with things that can trigger my all or nothing perfectionist mentality. When that is triggered, I end up with "nothing" every time.

I like your thoughts on not dieting and IIRC not weighing? Right? I'm considering implementing some of your ideas myself. I feel exhausted from trying (and failing) to "diet."

The Atkins plan (at least the versions Atkins actually wrote - not sure about NANY) can be easily done without any scales - bathroom or food, yes? I think I need to do what he says and just eat when I'm hungry from the foods list and call it a day. Who knows - maybe if I can just do that cleanly without obsessing over my weight, my food portions, etc. I can move in the right direction? I also understand the merits of weighing and measuring food where portion control is an issue. So I won't rule that out for the future. I just think for now I might be better off viewing things as an eating plan v. a diet.

Rudi I also think it was you who said you have ingredients on hand for no bake cheesecake and give yourself permission to make one if binge feelings get really strong - rather than binging on actual sugarcarbies. That strategy (and the fact you don't always have to use it - just keep it there) makes sense to me. Right now a binge mode can lead to untold carbs/calories in the form of sugarcarbies. At least a no bake SF cheesecake - even the whole thing - would be easier on my physiology than piles of sugarcarbies I think. (lesser - way lesser of two evils) I'm going to consider that idea as well.

Just thinking out loud - feedback welcome. And of course all that is only what I'm thinking might be right for me at this moment - I am in no way suggesting what might be right for anyone else.
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Old 06-02-2013, 01:02 PM   #254
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Hi Bella,
Thanks.
And congratulations on not drinking at your function. Another big milestone passed!
Also, I tried to edit my last post to add something but it was too late.
Reading back to your previous post, I do not break my locarb eating plan every day, just occassionally.....it may only be once every 2 or 3 weeks....and once again this is just my personal solution on how to deal with having broken.
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Old 06-02-2013, 02:17 PM   #255
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There seems to be a time limit on how long the edit button remains available.
Doggie, I've overdone the fatbombs, but I think it is better than the higher carb alternative.
So far I am continuing to lose weight, not fast, but that was not my intention.
Perfectionism is hard to let go.
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Old 06-02-2013, 02:37 PM   #256
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Hi Doggygirl,
Thanks for your feedback. And telling me your story and that I’m not the only one who struggles with trying to be perfect and beating myself up when I fail.
Because I started this I think I need to explain my eating plan to you. People on this forum who are strict Aitkens will probably throw their arms up in horror at how slack I am so read on advisedly.
Because it is an eating plan for life, my eating plan is personally designed, not as strict as some and without a lot of fuss. (This makes it doable forever!) I read Aitkens and I got the message about locarb high protein but personally don’t follow his plan, just eat normal everyday healthy food that I like that fall under that umbrella. I do restrict my animal fat intake and I don’t do protein powders or isolates or any of what some people call “frankenfoods” (Although occasionally I buy an Aitkens chocolate bar)
The only out of the ordinary food that I use is Natvia (This is a mix of Stevia and Erythritol....and is the only healthy nocarb sweetener on the market) I think in US the same product is called Truvia? Anyway in Oz, it is way expensive but I found the recipe for the mix and I make my own....much cheaper!
Because I don’t use protein powders and such I probably do much higher carbs than Aitkens.
I allow myself a max of 80g a day. I try to do 20 each for breakfast, lunch and dinner leaving me a 20 spare for a snack if I need one.
This allows me to, after reading carb contents of all the breads in the supermarket buy one which has 20g per 2 slices (and if I cut the crusts off my toast I probably eliminate about 5g carbs)
Whenever I check out food at the supermarket I decide whether I can get a decent meal out of it for 20carbs or I don’t buy it. So no pasta or rice etc.... I don’t count carbs in salad ingredients (except tomatoes) or in leafy greens but I do for fruit and root vegetables.
That’s how I portion control.
For me only eating when I’m hungry is bad news. Because I’ve gone past the point of no return. Similarly I only ever go the supermarket immediately after I have just eaten. When I’m not hungry I make better choices.
So I am very strict about mealtimes. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and is 2 eggs (anyway but fried) and toast as above. Maybe some steamed spinach and/or smoked salmon on the side. (Smoked Salmon is produced where I live and because you need less comes in about same price as bacon... and it is much lower in fat) And eggs take a long time to digest so you are full for a long time. The other meals are dependent on what I feel like but 20g carbs max.
Apart from my cheesecake ingredients, I also always keep a bowl of poached chicken in my fridge. I like chicken and I snack on this whenever I feel hungry.
On a more practical side, with the exception of steak or fish and salad, I eat a different dinner than my husband. Because he doesn’t like same food as me. (I’m Greek...he’s English) But he doesn’t cook and one of my problems in the past was trying to prepare 2 separate meals at night and I would end up eating his meals which were way bad for me. So now on the weekend I work out my and his dinners for the week ahead and have a bit of a cook up and have some of them on hand in the freezer.
Doggygirl, there is no right and wrong way. For me having somebody else (even Aitkens) dictate my eating plan is doomed to failure because I will eventually rebel against someone else telling me what to do. And this is how I’ve resolved this. But as I said, it is personally designed and it did take some careful thought about my lifestyle and what I could cope with easily and comfortably forever. Yours may end up completely differently than mine. But be absolutely perfect for you.
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Old 06-02-2013, 02:46 PM   #257
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Hi Rubi, I am with you on this. I like your pkan. I eat about 100 grams carbs, but I don't eat grains or sugars. It all comes from veggies, a fruit and whatever is in protein (like yogurt and eggs).

I tried Atkins but I was never really in ketosis. It worked for 2-3 years, but I had issues with portion control, so needed more structure. I do weigh and measure all the time and this foodplan works for me. Atkins said to stop eating when satisfied, but that moment never arrived.
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Old 06-02-2013, 04:11 PM   #258
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Hi MaryMary,
Thanks.

Like you, no grains, no sugars, and I just plain don't like legumes.

And I restrict all processed carbohydrate food to my 2 slices of morning toast and sometimes locarb diet biscuits with my lunch (and yoghurt) And although I do restrict my animal fat intake,I do eat full fat yoghurt (less carbs) So apart from those foods carbs are pretty much fruits and vegetables.

And everyone, thanks for having me. I guess if I'm going to stay chatting I'd better find a picture and fill in the stats bit
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Old 06-02-2013, 05:01 PM   #259
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Everyone needs to find their own way. I have no idea what plan I'm doing other than it is atkins like. I did do induction and from there it has been meat veggies fruit nuts ( soy nuts usually) and sundlower sees butter and tons of yogurt.

I am not climbing a carb ladder. I eat the low carb food I like and that's it. Unlike some of you, I cannot allow one cookie or cake or sweet- similar to an alcoholic not having just one drink. I can have any low carb cheesecake I want but my dessert of choice tends to be berries and my delicious yogurt and pudding mixture.

Keep up the good fight! I so want to believe that this will be my last time around this crazy track. I AM TIRED!. I will be 52 in 2 weeks and I need to be done with this lose/gain cycle.....
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Old 06-02-2013, 06:15 PM   #260
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You are right Biochic. This topic is not about eating plans but binge eating.
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Old 06-02-2013, 07:48 PM   #261
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If I were overeating right now, I would be bingeing. It is all or nothing. But 'y last binge was July 9, 2011. That is my anniversary date that I celebrate as my first breinge free day as well. Breakfast I binged and by lunchtime, I had an abstinent meal based on my food plan, I called my friend and she helped me plan supper. Then I was abstinent for supper. No snack. I went through a 7 week binge, and didn't want it to stop but at the time time the day had come. 32 lbs were gained in it. Panic attacks returned, negative self talk, poor self image. But within a week of putting down the sugar and grains, the panic attacks were gone. I can't eat legunes except the soybean and its products . I am either working my plan or not. The not is what I don't want to revisit.
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Old 06-02-2013, 08:36 PM   #262
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Me too MaryMary.
No matter how slack, slow, or undisciplined my concepts and plan may seem to others, provided I stick with it I stay in control and binge free.
A couple of years ago I thought I had this monster beat but I had a really bad year because we were living in a house we were renovating and for a very long time I didnít have a kitchen. If I donít stick to my plan I am in trouble and for the most part we were living on takeaways etc and things got way out of control.
But thatís over now and I can honestly say that I have been binge free since the beginning of this year. And I intend to stay that way. And just about ready to go out in my smaller jeans. Thatís 2 sizes dealt with this year!
But the topic is binge eating behaviour and what we can do about it. And I suppose this time around I have applied a little bit more thought to my personal demons and applied a bit of lateral thinking and come up with a personal solution which will keep me binge free for life, no matter what curveballs life throws at me.
I applaud and have the utmost respect for everybody on this forum who has been able to deal with this issue. It really is a monster, and at the end of the day itís not how someone slays the dragon but that they do.
My best wishes to you all.
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Old 06-03-2013, 02:39 AM   #263
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Originally Posted by MaryMary View Post
If I were overeating right now, I would be bingeing. It is all or nothing. But 'y last binge was July 9, 2011. That is my anniversary date that I celebrate as my first breinge free day as well. Breakfast I binged and by lunchtime, I had an abstinent meal based on my food plan, I called my friend and she helped me plan supper. Then I was abstinent for supper. No snack. I went through a 7 week binge, and didn't want it to stop but at the time time the day had come. 32 lbs were gained in it. Panic attacks returned, negative self talk, poor self image. But within a week of putting down the sugar and grains, the panic attacks were gone. I can't eat legunes except the soybean and its products . I am either working my plan or not. The not is what I don't want to revisit.
I'm the same way Mary. Eat on plan or fall into the pits of hell. There is no in between in my world. Either I'm sober (in terms of food) or I'm not....
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Old 06-03-2013, 04:00 AM   #264
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Here's something I wrote and adapted from another thread that has to do with this topic.

Binge eating is a disorder and can be different of each of us. I started with listing the foods that triggered the binges or led to the binges as well as certain behaviors that triggered the bingeing episodes. It helped with awareness.

I also found from various books that for many of us, the first bite opens the flood gates and we take the second bite hoping to get the same bang we got from the first bite, but it doesn't happen. So we take a third bite, and again and again until we are sick from all the bites. I experimented with alternatives to eating including professionals and group therapy, acupuncture, diet clubs, spiritual groups, etc.

Eventually, I realized I am powerless once I take the first bite. The disorder or obsession is in remission as long as I don't take the first bite. But how do I not take the first bite? I have heard over and over that we need to guard against being too hungry, angry, lonely and tired (HALT). Use journaling, call others, prayer, meditating, yoga, walking, reading books, whatever you have a passion for, whatever group or Power you find strength from to guard against the first bite.

In the process of using alternatives to food, I got to know myself better, gained confidence in myself, started to be grateful for the feelings I was afraid of before. I am grateful for feelings even though they might sometimes be uncomfortable, the fact that I can feel them means I am not numbing them with food or drugs or booze.

Anything I do that is consistent and a bit repetitious today is a firm of meditation. It helps me grow spiritually. Example, a frend told me she swims laps because the repeated swimming is relaxing and invigorating. Some draw, knit, take photos, write, dance or garden, etc. It is called creative spirituality. It is inspiring. It helps us heal in ways other than just the physical act of losing weight. It enlivens the spirit and makes us believe we are more than the food we crave.

When I start to get edgy, and notice an attitude shift, when I notice I find fault with other people, places and things, I am headed for trouble with the food. Food is my first reaction to life. I can learn to accept things for exactly the way they are. They just are. I can only change me. Today, just for today, I can make healthy choices for my body, mind and spirit.
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Old 06-03-2013, 07:20 AM   #265
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Wow! There has been some great reading on this thread lately! Thank you rubi, doggy, bio, bella & Mary!

I've completed my 7 days binge-free...two more lbs and I'll be back to pre-vacation weight.

I am remembering how, during vacation, I would get up in the morning and as I walked to the bathroom, my legs & feet would feel stiff and ache...I know that's because I was so carbed up. Now that I've gotten the carbs out of my system, I wake up in the mornings and don't feel that.

I'm hoping I'll remember that when I get the temptation to binge again.

I'm like those of you who can't just eat one cookie...or "one" anything...

I marvel and am in awe of people who can.

My husband says things like, "If you would just eat a normal portion...you could have that stuff."

I do not know why I struggle with binging so...I am not sure what to trace it back to. I'm so thankful to find you all who understand. That really means a lot.

I have never smoked or drank alcohol...I'm thankful for that...I shudder to think what kind of struggle that could be for me too.
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Old 06-03-2013, 12:37 PM   #266
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Hi Everyone
Becky, congratulations for getting back on track! For me getting back into it has always been the hardest bit.
And MaryMary, thank you for your last post. So much of it rang true for me too.
Also Biochic, I too have a plan. And without it I am in deep trouble. But having repeatedly tried and failed, I just cannot stick to a plan that doesnít ever allow me one bite (or one drink). That just puts me under pressure and I have come to realise that pressure is one of my triggers. So I eventually end up breaking on the plan and then as you said, I fall into the pits of hell. And like you Iím TIRED.
But no matter how hard I tried, I just couldnít change me, so I changed my plan.
So how do I stop a small ďcheatĒ turning into a full scale binge?
I draw inspiration from the following little Zen story.

Two travelling monks reached a river where they met a young woman. Wary of the current, she asked if they could carry her across. One of the monks hesitated, but the other quickly picked her up onto his shoulders, transported her across the water, and put her down on the other bank. She thanked him and departed.
As the monks continued on their way, the one was brooding and preoccupied. Unable to hold his silence, he spoke out.
"Brother, our spiritual training teaches us to avoid any contact with women, but you picked that one up on your shoulders and carried her!"
"Brother," the second monk replied,
"I set her down on the other side, while you are still carrying her."
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Old 06-03-2013, 01:06 PM   #267
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I'm glad you have found something that works for you Rubi. I'm trying to be less rigid this time around too just not with trigger foods. The goal for all of us is to make this a life change not just a short term quick fix.

Becky- my husband sys things like that too he is a "fixer" but he doesn't truly understand the nature of my disorder.

Mary- thank you for sharing your insight. Yoga has really helped me. I was a skeptic at first but I feel like it has been life hanging for me. It is amazing how much being mindful of my breath has changed how I respond to things. Relax and just breathe
BTW- your face looks fabulous
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Old 06-03-2013, 02:11 PM   #268
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Hello Everyone. I haven't posted much but I've "started over" again today for the who knows how many times.

I'm trying to keep it simple, no bread, pasta or refined sugar. I'm also going to try to stay away from fruit. Like a lot of you, I'm completely out of control after one bite of anything that has sugar or carbs.

That being said, I'm 100% convinced that this is truly an addiction and not simply "emotional eating". Certainly emotions are at play but I've talked with myself during a binge and realized that it was nothing other than the pull of the sugar or carbs that was dragging me to and driving me to eat them. It wasn't my head spinning or worrying or anything other than the physical craving.

I've been on a binge bender for months now. I've gained an additional 5 - 10 pounds over the course of the past several months. I'm the heaviest that I've been with the exception of being pregnant. I'm desperately trying to be nice to myself. I intentionally bought new clothes so I can feel better instead of my normal...nothing fits, I'm gross, etc.

Interestingly enough...I feel like I've have a new lease on things today. I have let others get in the way of my recovery many times. I'm not going to do that this time. It just has to be that way.

Thank you all for your support.
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Old 06-03-2013, 02:32 PM   #269
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Hi everyone and happy Monday! WOW what a whole bunch of awesome posts. I want to thank each and every one of you for what you've written all along, and especially since my last post.

I'm glad you guys are willing to share how you work with your individual food plans to avoid bingeing. It seems there is a combination strategy involving both behavioral issues (i.e. only grocery shop after a meal) to food strategies (i.e. identifying foods that may not be every day foods, but will satisfy the urge to binge without causing epic binge damage.

I can especially identify with rebellion. I think that is a factor for me when I try to follow a specific plan "to the letter." I wonder if this is why so many "experts" (whatever that is, LOL) say "dieting" is a disaster for people who binge. I'm sure part of that is just being hungry (which is usually part of dieting in some way), but I wonder if rebellion is also a big factor for a lot of us? I believe it is for me.

Bella I like what you said about over doing the fat bombs some times which might cause slower weight loss. Once again, you are combatting the binge urges with a strategy that might not be "by the book" but is working for you. I would love some slow weight loss!

Congrats to all who are binge free for today. I hope you will all keep posting your thoughts and strategies and ideas - I sure love reading them as I work to figure out what game plan is going to work long term for me.

BF day 2.

DG
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Old 06-03-2013, 03:47 PM   #270
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My main goal is to avoid taking that first bite. Once I do that, I lose control. I'm keeping this list in mind as I go through the day and suffer these awful cravings.

What do I enjoy about over eating:
* the way the food tastes
* the way that I feel while eating & immediately afterward

What do I detest about over eating:
* the way that I feel while eating & immediately afterward
* guilt
* shame
* self hatred
* physical pain and discomfort that comes as a result of overeating
* physical pain and discomfort that comes from being over weight
* putting food before my family & other responsibilities
* keeping secrets
* lying to myself
* lack of motivation
* risking my health

Elena
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