binging food addiction

[Portia]

Originally Posted by mojocat

Hello, please excuse me for butting in. I'm a long-time lurker but reading most of the posts here sounded as if I had written them so I had to post.

I've always been a binger and for the last few years overweight as a result. Last year something clicked and I decided to lose the weight. I did various diets but essentially I cut out all starchy carbs; sugar, bread, pasta, cakes, etc. I would read the ingredient list on all labels and I didn't touch sugar in a year. I figured I was a sugar/carb addict and I needed to treat sugar like a drug I had to abstain from. I lost half my bodyweight and was over the moon!! New wardrobe, wearing shorts and skirts for the first time in years; I was ecstatic, life was good.

Then Christmas/vacation came and I ate more foods (still no starches or sugar) but just more food and probably more sodium. Anyway I had put on a few pounds when I got home and nervous and felt I needed to do something drastic. I had been reading lots of information on the Primal/Paleo Boards and for some stupid reason was convinced I needed to do potato fast to drop those pounds by a carb refeed. MInd you I haven't had potatoes in a year - what the hell was I thinking?

So I started my plain potato fast but by around 4.00pm I started to get the shakes, nervy, anxious and lightheadedness - it looked like a straight out hypo attack. I stopped the potato fast immediately and decided it was not for me.

I don't normally eat a big breakfast because that seems to stimulate my appetite but the next morning I was ravenous so I made a huge serving of bacon and eggs - still hungry and thenthat was it; the floodgates had opened. I couldn't stop eating - good foods but I couldn't stop i.e. chicken, cheese, lots of milky coffees, avocado and then I felt so bad I raced to the supermarket and bought a huge bag of mixed nuts and licorice/chocolate and had my first sugar in a year. It then became a frenzy, I returned to the shop for another bag of nuts and chocolate licorice. (Nuts and choc lic being the main foods I missed whilst dieting).

My mind knew what was happening but the body had taken over...there was no distraction or motivational talk I could have done to stop it; I was like a demented zombie with only one aim..to stuff as much of the choc/nuts in my mouth; I felt as if I was drugged. I was so bloated and miserable, but as soon as my stomach felt better, I would still eat something else. I was totally out of control.

The next morning there was a weight gain of course and I tried to get back on track, but then the binges started every few days after that and I am currently battling these monsters. When I'm good, I'm good; but when I'm in that binge mindset I can't stop. Of course I have gained and now I'm in this miserable state of mind and yo-yo-ing between eating on track a few days and then bingeing again; getting more miserable with the lack of control and weight gain; and am finding it so hard to get on top of this.

My point is that these binges are like nothing I've experienced in the past. Secondly, my suspicion is that the potato fast somehow was the catalyst. Did my insulin go through the roof after not having carbs for so long? If so, why is it continuing? Why don't a few days of being clean break the cycle? It's like I've had a brain snap.

I'm sorry this is so long but if anyone could give me some advice as to how I can handle this or who may have experienced anything similar I would really appreciate it.

The author of Brain Over Binge theorizes that all binges are the result of dieting. Perhaps your "potato fast" triggered your binge eating because it felt very restrictive to you?

[Biochic]

So much for being safe at work we were let go early in anticipation of the impending storm. My DH asked me to go to shop rite on my way home!! It was like walking thru a minefield! I experienced that familiar voice egging me on " just buy some cake and ice cream. You deserve it. It will feel so good going down".
I did not buy any bad food but it was really difficult to ignore that nagging sensation

Onward....

[rubidoux]

Originally Posted by jeaniem

Why doesn't low carb stop us from binging? Is is me or have we missed something that others have not?

I sure wish that LC would keep me so satisfied that I never had the urge to binge. It doesn't do that for me, though it does suppress my appetite, which helps. It doesn't do the damage that carbs do, though. When I eat carby stuff I just want more and more and more. Once I start I can't stop.

Originally Posted by Beeb

It doesn't matter what foods I eat, when I want to eat and I'm in the binging mode I eat...LC, VLC, NC or carb!!

Gosh, not me. When I'm in binge-mode, I only want carbs. I'm happy with a little bacon on my loaded potato, but the bacon alone holds no interest for me.

Originally Posted by Beeb

I'm a work in progress but at least I'm seeing a bit of progress, it seems!!

This is how I'm feeling. I feel good about any progress I can make. This has been really hard for years.

Originally Posted by Portia

The part that resonated with me, however, was the part about about the power of habit and how our neural pathways "learn" to binge eat every time we binge. And the longer we go without binge eating, the stronger our mental "muscle" is to not binge eat.

I like the idea of making my resist muscle stronger, too. It has helped me back away from food a few times.

Originally Posted by Biochic

It was like walking thru a minefield! I experienced that familiar voice egging me on " just buy some cake and ice cream. You deserve it. It will feel so good going down".
I did not buy any bad food but it was really difficult to ignore that nagging sensation

I'm happy you made it through!

I'm gonna go check out the 30 day binge thread. I haven't been there yet bc the idea of 30 days sounded like insanity to me. But today is day 21 for me, so maybe it's within my reach after all.

[Dottie]

Originally Posted by jeaniem

I often think my mind is in the right place, but not for long these days. I see myself doing exactly what my mother did to herself. Her type 2 diabetes over the years went on to cause many other health problems yet she kept on eating the carbs. At the time I could not for the life of me understand how she could continue to eat in a way that she knew was harming her health. Strokes, high blood pressure, blocked carotid artery and hosts of other problems. She would be scared straight so to speak for sometime after such events, but would soon be back to eating the carbs. She is now insulin dependent and eats better than she ever has but still eats her share of carbs regularly. I understand her better now, but feel more guilt because I know carbs are harmful to my health yet still don't change, while she never and still doesn't really believe in the low carb woe.

I can relate because my mother is the same way. Her health has deteriorated over the last 8 months and she seems to not care that she's killing herself with her food choices. Then I get upset and binge and your post made me realize: I'm doing the same thing she is!
For that eye opener, thank you. Maybe your post will make ME think twice.

[Biochic]

Originally Posted by rubidoux

I'm gonna go check out the 30 day binge thread. I haven't been there yet bc the idea of 30 days sounded like insanity to me. But today is day 21 for me, so maybe it's within my reach after all.

Great come join us!!

[Casey]

Found this area of LCF by accident, but each posting could have been written by me. I look "normal" on the outside, but there is an internal fight constantly raging. I don't think I ever go 30 days without a binge and when it happens its an overwhelming anxious feeling until I can get my hands on food to eat in private. I'm known as a no-sugar low carb girl, but when that feeling takes over, eat all the things off plan. I was bulimic/anorexic in my teens and 20's and I always feel like I'm one binge away from 300 pounds. Thanks all for sharing here.

[sarahatl]

Originally Posted by Casey

Found this area of LCF by accident, but each posting could have been written by me. I look "normal" on the outside, but there is an internal fight constantly raging. I don't think I ever go 30 days without a binge and when it happens its an overwhelming anxious feeling until I can get my hands on food to eat in private. I'm known as a no-sugar low carb girl, but when that feeling takes over, eat all the things off plan. I was bulimic/anorexic in my teens and 20's and I always feel like I'm one binge away from 300 pounds. Thanks all for sharing here.

You just described me Casey! I look normal from the outside as well but I have this internal war going on with me to binge. Last week I binged 2x. I just cannot get enough....I hate it. I am trying to get through February without a binge and I think I may just do it (well it is only the 2nd but...positsive thinking!)

[Casey]

Me too Sarah - my goal is to see if I can make it thru February without a slip. It's like an out of body experience when it happens - very weird anxiety comes over me and I honestly don't feel like I have control. I picked up L-glutamine and GABA today after reading the posts here. I've never talked to others who shared this issue before, and I've always kept it private.

[Kaarren]

Hi Casey & all,

I am working it. trying to make it thru one more day 4 so far.... Hard but worth it.

I'm not doing it perfectly clean.... but way better.

I know what you mean about the anxiety / loss of control feeling that comes over you when the binge monster is awake. I usually eat by myself, crazy weird bingeing sometimes.

I have been wondering about supplements, let me know how it works.

[Biochic]

Hi Casey Sarah and Karen. That anxiety feeling is so crazy, isn't it it borders on panic! I amazed at how similar our experiences are. I think the GABA has helped! The glutamine may or may not be a factor but that anxious feeling has only surfaced a couple of times in the last month but it was mild and managable

[Casey]

I've done good this weekend but the real test is at work... I get in earlier than the others and I know where the chocolate stash is in the main office. Luckily my office is not in there and I try to avoid the area if no one else is there. I'm not tempted if someone will "catch" me. I eat SO healthy 98 percent of the time. Once there was a loaf of bread left over from the Christmas pot luck and I took it to feed the ducks at the golf course... But I ate the whole thing. Wow - I'm revealing things I've never told anyone. I'm embarrassed and unburdened at the same time.

[Biochic]

Originally Posted by Casey

I've done good this weekend but the real test is at work... I get in earlier than the others and I know where the chocolate stash is in the main office. Luckily my office is not in there and I try to avoid the area if no one else is there. I'm not tempted if someone will "catch" me. I eat SO healthy 98 percent of the time. Once there was a loaf of bread left over from the Christmas pot luck and I took it to feed the ducks at the golf course... But I ate the whole thing. Wow - I'm revealing things I've never told anyone. I'm embarrassed and unburdened at the same time.

Unburden! I doubt there is anything you could reveal to us that we haven't done or thought of doing ourselves

[jeaniem]

Anyone tried the Sam-e. I saw it at the grocery store and the was shocked at the price, but if helps stop binges it would be well worth the cost.

[piratejenny]

jeanie--if you want a more affordable brand, please Google "NSI SAM-e".

I tried many other brands, including Jarrow (and I love a lot of their products), and I found this one not only to be cheap, but the most effective of them all.

[Casey]

Update on the supplements.... I really do think the combo of l-glutamine, GABA and 5-htp is working for the anxiety - I have to take them earlier in the day because I think the GABA and/or l-glutamine disrupted my sleep and tweaked the dosage a bit and I'm feeling so calm.

[Biochic]

I am having great success Witt he GABA and 5 htp also! What a relief

[piratejenny]

[sarahatl]

I am glad you are all doing well. I had two slips last week. Last on was last Saturday but am doing good now. I plan to get through the rest of feb. Thinking of you all!

[Biochic]

Originally Posted by sarahatl

I am glad you are all doing well. I had two slips last week. Last on was last Saturday but am doing good now. I plan to get through the rest of feb. Thinking of you all!

Plan on getting thru one day at a time. They add up pretty quickly!

[Casey]

I was doing so good until yesterday. I was getting that out of control feeling from the moment I woke up. Nothing out of the ordinary going on in my life - no extraordinary stress or issues. I have found that I can be perfectly fine for 10 days to 2 weeks and then I have a episode - I could not reason my way out of the binge yesterday. All I can do is get my control back today. Soooo frustrating. I hate that I can't be stronger.

[jeaniem]

Sorry to hear that Casey. I blew it after 10 good days, still struggling to get back in control. Sometimes I wonder why I even try.

[Biochic]

Back on the horse Casey! Ten days eating clean is great. Don't let one bad day keep ya down.

Jeanie- you keep trying because the alternative is death- either physical or emotional. You keep trying because there are people in your life who cannot live without you. You do it for them until you're able to do it for yourself

[Casey]

It's funny that when I'm eating clean I can't imagine falling off the wagon, and when I'm out of control, I can't imagine that I'll ever be back in control - but experience has taught me that one day of high protein/clean eating and I'm feeling calm and back in control... And I try to have a plan to minimize the damage and length of time that I'm out of control. I know that I can't say it will never happen again and white-knuckle my anyway through one of "those" days. I think that saying I was going to make it all the way through February without a slip, i may have put that pressure on myself.

[Biochic]

Originally Posted by Casey

It's funny that when I'm eating clean I can't imagine falling off the wagon, and when I'm out of control, I can't imagine that I'll ever be back in control

Totally understand this! I'm good now for 51 days but 52 my be my downfall may never know

[jeaniem]

Originally Posted by Biochic

Back on the horse Casey! Ten days eating clean is great. Don't let one bad day keep ya down.

Jeanie- you keep trying because the alternative is death- either physical or emotional. You keep trying because there are people in your life who cannot live without you. You do it for them until you're able to do it for yourself

Thanks for that! The guilt gets to me sometimes, DH tries really hard to take care of himself for me (us).

[jeaniem]

Originally Posted by Casey

It's funny that when I'm eating clean I can't imagine falling off the wagon, and when I'm out of control, I can't imagine that I'll ever be back in control - but experience has taught me that one day of high protein/clean eating and I'm feeling calm and back in control... And I try to have a plan to minimize the damage and length of time that I'm out of control. I know that I can't say it will never happen again and white-knuckle my anyway through one of "those" days. I think that saying I was going to make it all the way through February without a slip, i may have put that pressure on myself.

I hear you Casey. The last binge will always be the "last binge" , know what I mean? The trick for me is getting that day or two of protein/clean eating without blowing it again and again.

[sarahatl]

Just curious.... I posted this in another thread but only one response. When you guys are on your good days of low carb - do you use artificial sweeteners by chance? I am beginning to think that artificial sweeteners causes binging in myself even when I think I am being good. Do artificial sweeteners cause a spike in blood sugar or you to binge?

[Beeb]

Originally Posted by Biochic

Plan on getting thru one day at a time. They add up pretty quickly!

This is my mind set EXACTLY!! One day at a time, one day without a binge at a time, and just one day to feel good that I made it through that one day!

The rest will take care of itself by doing "just one day at a time" for now!

[Biochic]

Originally Posted by sarahatl

Just curious.... I posted this in another thread but only one response. When you guys are on your good days of low carb - do you use artificial sweeteners by chance? I am beginning to think that artificial sweeteners causes binging in myself even when I think I am being good. Do artificial sweeteners cause a spike in blood sugar or you to binge?

Hi Sarah. I think artificial sweeteners are a YMMV type thing. I use Splenda in my iced coffee but I only drink them occasionally. They do not bother me but others have said they cause a problem. If you think they trigger you, they probably do.

[Biochic]

Right there with ya Beeb