OA & other 12-step support thread

[Tylar]

Hi guys -

Today's "For Today" has a wonderful message:
"I pray to recognize the limitations of logic and reason; to entrust to God the problems for which I cannot figure out solutions."

It's funny how, the further I get from COE, the more I see what a control freak I am - especially in the need to "know" everything. I'm typing here in my home office, surrounded by ceiling-high bookshelves with everything from anatomy, diet and health to history, business and gardening. What if I just relax and say, "I don't know,"? It's really exhausting, needing to find an answer for everything.

Maybe this is part of the "let go & let God" thing.

[Gibby]

Ok, you all have inspired me. I have been so reluctant to go to an OA meeting....lots of fears. But, I have committed to attending one this Wednesday after work.

Appreciate all of the encouragement I can get. I am not a "group dynamic" person. I am more comfortable with one-on-one.

[Tylar]

Marilee, that's wonderful! I know what you mean about the one-on-one thing; I think lots of us are like that. I know I am.

You're lucky to have meetings close by. I've only attended a few over the years, but that was in a different state. They were small, but the people were really nice. And it's so comfortable to be among people who "get it," you know?

Can't wait to hear how it goes!

[bikergoth]

hey all,

Its good to see this group. I am returning to this group (LCF.COM) after a "hiatus", and 40+ lbs gained. Its funny how after 20 years of continuous sobriety, I still am unable (unwilling) to admit my powerlessness over food. Even when some of my binges (feeding frenzy) as of late have filled me with the same disgust and shame that I felt when I was drinking and using.

Anyway, I started back into "induction" yesterday and will be taking it ODAT and plan on hitting an OA meeting this weekend. I am hoping I have hit bottom because I have set a new record for my body weight and it aint a good record.

Thanks,

Tony W. in SLC

[Doug K]

Howdy everyone! Good to see new faces.

I've got a lot to be grateful for. I'm getting extra hours at work this month. I work on my feet. It is so much easier now, than when I was 80 pounds heavier. It's been harder to plan reasonable meals, though. I'm glad I've got tomorrow off, so I can buy some groceries.

One of my favorite things about being in 12-step recovery is how I've been able to connect with folks in other programs at the church I attend. I've been going there for six years. People have noticed the weight loss. When they ask me how I did it, I tell them I started it with Atkins, but I couldn't have kept it off without OA. I hadn't realized how many people I know who are in AA or NA. We speak a common language.

[Tylar]

Welcome, Tony! Congrats on the years of sobriety. Regarding powerlessness over food, I had a hard time with that one, too. Then I realized it isn't ALL food, only certain ones that I crave & binge on and go crazy with. Once I got rid of them, it was like a light-switch on my cravings. Wish I would have stuck with it the first time around (I fell off the wagon & of course, regained everything), but each day's a new beginning. I've been on-plan for about two weeks, and I feel great.

Doug, I love the "common language" we speak. It's like instant family whenever I find program people - starting with Al-Anon in my high school years. My mom (AA for almost 30 years) has always said she has family in every city in the world.

I've always thought everyone could benefit from a 12-step program. In a way, that's what faith organizations really are. It all comes down to, "We admitted we were powerless." And we really are - about pretty much everything.

[Gibby]

Good morning everyone. Well, tonight is the OA meeting I told you all I was going to attend. Nervous as heck, but I am going to go. It's so easy to back out and not, but then the same habits and sabotage behaviours continue and it is time to stop.

Appreciate all of the positive thoughts, energy and prayers I can get.

[Tylar]

Originally Posted by Gibby

Well, tonight is the OA meeting I told you all I was going to attend. Nervous as heck, but I am going to go. .. Appreciate all of the positive thoughts, energy and prayers I can get.

Have fun, Marilee! Remember, you don't have to say anything. Just smile & observe, if you choose. Everybody was a newcomer once.

[Gibby]

I can smile - but the non-talking part will be hard

[Tylar]

Marilee, how did your meeting go?

[E.W.]

There is another 12 step program FA that is suposed to differ from OA by concentrating
more on food as an adictive substance than OA does. OA realy left me cold....

[Doug K]

I know of several spin-offs of OA that define abstinence as following a food plan that is modeled after the old OA green/gold/grey sheet:

Welcome to Food Addicts Anonymous, Food Addicts In Recovery Anonymous: Home, GreySheeters Anonymous (GSA) - Home

OA HOW Concept is a subgroup within OA that does, as well: HOW/OA > Home.

I started losing the weight on Atkins, six months before I started attending OA. I eat a lot more fat than is allowed on the greysheet-derived plans. I'm glad I wasn't pressured to change food plans when I joined.

[Gibby]

Sorry, guys, I didn't make it to the meeting.

[Doug K]

I got my 9-month chip at my Sunday night home group yesterday. Nine months free of sugar, starch, and alcohol as of Friday. We each define our own bottom-line abstinence; that's mine. I've got a lot to be grateful for.

[Gibby]

Congratulations! You are to be commended. I can't even make it through a weekend....

[hani]

Hi everyone!
great job Doug! Gibby, i am proud of you -- for letting us know you didn't get to the meeting. i see that as a brave thing. the meetings are there whenever you need them; i've found some great ones online...which is super for me.

Tony, way to go. OK, there are other ppl here,, too, who are doing great, so give hugs to yourselves everyone.

one of the things I love about OA i also love about LCF -- so much support.
I've been reading some quite inspirational OA literature...well, actually it is A.A. literature...stuff lately. so many ppl out there who struggle in ways just like mine.

anyhow, wishing you all a great weekend!

[Gibby]

Thanks, Hani! I appreciate the support. Just finished a bout of depression so I think I'm up for attending a meeting this weekend.

[Doug K]

Hello, all! I was reading "Voices of Recovery," an OA daily reader. The quote for August 14 is,

"Here we experience the great truth that when we let go of our need to control people and simply allow our Higher Power to serve others through us, we receive an abundance of joy and strength."

-- The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 106

Then the commentary,

"Allowing God to serve others through me has become the central purpose of my life. Practicing these principles in all my affairs has not always been easy. I practiced first in OA meetings, then with OA friends, and then at work. The hardest place to practice these principles has been at home, with my family. When I remember that my purpose is to allow God to serve others through me, my relationships are easier, my work life is a pleasure, and my home life is a joy. I no longer have to control people or situations. I trust God and focus on service."

-- Voices of Recovery, p. 227

"I trust God and focus on service." How's that for keeping it simple? This is how healthy I hope to be someday, though I am nowhere near it now.

[trvlpk]

Hello all,

Have not seen much action from this thread. How is everyone doing - especially since we are now through the holidays!

Me personally, I am struggling! I have not been able to make it to my regular f2f mtg due to not having child care on that day. I can tell that its affecting me. I know that there are alternatives to f2f but have not had "motivation" to attend these. :-(

I hope you all are well!

Sarah

[MaryMary]

Hi y'all,
I belong to a 12 step program for compulsive overeating too. There are phone meetings, facebook pages, live meetings, online meetings, so if someone wants to check them out, there are lots of opportunities for all different approaches.

I hear at the meetings that it is a spiritual disease. The substances can change from alcohol to food to drugs to spending, etc and on and on, if we don't get into a "fit spiritual condition."

I refrain from drinking alcohol because it is made from sugar and grain. I am not addicted to the liquid forms of fermented sugars and grains but I am addicted to sugars and grains. It feels like it ferments inside my body, because I have a lot of gas, swelling, aches and pains in my joints. Headaches, panic attacks, depression. Morbid obesity that kills.

I recently read Wheat Belly and it confirmed again why I don't eat grains. I attend more than one type of 12 step meeting and have purchased step literature from CEA - HOW. They have a website and I ordered step questions and worked them with my sponsor years ago. They are big in the southwest and CA. I am from New England. So none are available here. It really doesn't matter which 12 step group you use, so long as it is the one you feel a connection and hope.

I started on Atkins in 2001 and lost the first 100 lbs in two years, not fast, a good pace. All my medical numbers improved. I went off medications that I had been taking with the guidance of my doctor. She was very happy for me that I found a way to live life without the weight getting in the way. It was the end of 2003 when I went looking for a more structured low carb approach because I couldn't figure out how much was enough. The Atkins books said to eat until you were satisfied. I was never satisfied. I had used LCF since June 2001 and someone on these boards pointed me to a person from these boards who used the sheet from OA that was grey and folks who were in it. As Doug said it it not for everyone. I go to OA too and am speaking at a meeting in a couple weeks to tell my story. And because OA doesn't endorse any food plan, I am free to go to both because I am a compulsive eater and food addict.

I found a sponsor in this other 12 step group and proceeded to do what she suggested. I write my food plan down on paper and call her with it in the AM, i eat breakfast, and pack up my lunch and sometimes dinner if I am in the late shift at work. The structure really helps as I turn 65 in Feb and forget things. So writing it down and having my favorite meals makes it easy to shop and chop my veggies. I seem to get plenty of fat. I keyed in my food to an online tracker last May to see why I stopped losing. It was because I was eating lots of red meat and whole milk Greek yogurt. So I switched to fish once in a while and low fat greek yogurt. I went from eating 1700-1800 cal day to 1200-1300 and started losing again. My breakdown is 50% fat, 30% protein and 20% carbs. My net carbs are 70-75 and my fiber is about 30-35 a day. So even by shifting the calories I still get 50% fat. I get a fruit in the morning and lots of beautful veggies.

So the food is in its place and I am sane on most days. I started walking this year and quit chewing s/f gum. Yeh! I was addicted to the gum. Today is day 51 with no gum and walking 10,000 + steps a day. This is a biggie for me because I was the inveterate non-exerciser.

I get to work in a job that I love and they apparently like my work. What a blessing!

I was so close to getting the GBS but chickened out. I kept going to their meetings but never went through with the surgery. I saw people have it, lose it, and gain it back. Some went on to a new addiction since food wasn't an option. Some died. I stayed going to the meetings even after I lost the weight because they would let me say a few words to the group about other options and that surgery wasn't necessarily the road for everyone and that there is a way with the 12 steps. It allowed me to do a community service.

None of this would be possible today if the hand of God had not reached out to me through the LCF BB, a woman on these boards, who led me to the 12 step group I am in. It works, if you work it, one day at a time.

Hiwever, I didn't work it for a year or so, stopped exercising, put my kitchen scale away, stopped calling my sponsor and went back into the abyss in 3 short weeks in 2011. It lasted a total of 7 weeks. I gained 32 lbs. Panic attacks returned within 3 weeks when sugar and grains were reintroduced into my system. My joints hurt, the fears returned, I was feeling hopeless. I couldn't take it anymore and made two phone calls to people in program and they helped me out of the abyss.

To day I check these BB when I can and have a couple favorite facebook pages that I share in. I attend meeting and make phone calls. Abstinence comes first. If I am abstinent, everything else is an option. The world is filled with possibilities. So today, I am abstinent and grateful and committed. This is a matter of life and death, not a diet. I want and have a life 2nd to none. Some days are a challenge. That's okay. I am alive today. What a blessing it is to be alive!