Food/ Addicton- **Weekly Thread** - 9/23/09 thru 9/30/2009

[LoraJR72]

Do you have issues with Food?

Then come on in!A safe place to vent. No Judgey McJudgepants allowed! All are welcome! We are here to support you.


It is best if we do not refer to food by name. Please, call it a flour product, dairy product, etc. This works better. Trust me, I know!

[madonna1]

Hey LoraJr72
I am here with all good intentions. I hope the others join us on this new thread, God knows I need all the help I can get. Yesterday was just awful and I slipped and then gave into the binge monster. Needless to say I feel tender and emotionally drained today. I do not want to face anyone let alone cope with work, family and the everyday things. Everything just feels too much and I feel bloated and stuffed. I am determined to beat this though. If I can go for weeks on the straight and narrow and feel good, why do I do this to myself? habit?

[gettingwell]

I understand!! I have been doing okay for about 2 days, which is "good" for me...but my typical pattern is to follow a food plan for 2-3 days and then binge. I am following a new plan now (madonna, we corresponded about this!) and I am not paying so much attention to calories, but I know I am consuming a LOT of calories...so the fear of going "off" plan is really scary...and now I'm doubting this whole food plan that I have chosen. The whole idea was to FREE me from my obsessive thinking but I don't know if it is working...of course, I want to lose some weight, too, but I keep doubting how that can happen with all that I am eating. My mind is just going in circles. I keep thinking I am a fool for doing what I am doing...and I feel very uncomfortable in my skin...which usually leads to bingeing for me. I just need to have faith that this can work.

Madonna, you had 1 day of eating that wasn't on plan for you...out of severa WEEKS, like you said...that is very good. Don't beat yourself up too much. We all understand the feeling, though. Hang in there.

[LoraJR72]

I know what you mean about doing well for 2 to 3 days and then you dive into the carby stuff!

We have to keep hanging on! There is a plan that will work for us long term. Will keep looking.

[Kimad]

That is the worst feeling-when you binge because you hate the way you feel because you binged. I acan turn the best day into the biggest binge fest just because I catch a glimpse of myslf in a mirror at lets say Target-don't like what I see and I punish myself with food. A vicious cycle. Hang on there everyone! When someone figures this all out-please share.

[gettingwell]

I am really doubting this new "woe" that I chose for myself. I need to find a plan and stick with it. I am terrified of carbs! I keep thinking that the lower I go, the better...and I really don't know if that is true or not. I have brainwashed myself, I think. Now I'm so confused...I told my husband I was going really low carb for at least 30 days, to see what would happen. I change like the wind blows...now I am doubting that decision. My doctor thinks I need over half my calories from carbs, and I think that is WAY to high for me...so I go around and around in circles! I am so caught up in all of this that I am getting zilch accomplished in my 'real' life. It is all just obsession with what to eat.

Sorry to run on like this...I'm like a broken record, but I know that anyone who clicks on this thread will understand...and (hopefully) not judge.

I hope that all of you have a PEACEFUL day with food. Thanks for being there.

[Kimad]

Gettingwell-I could have written that myself. Life has been crazy-kids with stuff, the economy, family stuff etc. But the first thing on MY mind when I wake is what diet plan will I do to finally get it? It is really my excuse to not deal with all the other stuff in my real life. My son asked me yesterday-if it was my cheat day!

I had planned on going to the gym this am but went to an OA meeting instead. I was in the program for a few years-lost my weight and thought I was healed-yeah well!!! It was really good and I feel better jsut knowing there are people just like me out there. I figured I spend so much time dieting and binging maybe I can give OA the time and I can get on with my life.

I am reading the book Excuses Begone by Dr. Dyer and it talks about what we do to not get help. So I walked thru my fear this morning and went to a meeting. Don't know where this will lead me but hopefully today I will stick to my food plan.

Good Luck everyone! Kim

[madonna1]

Originally Posted by gettingwell

I understand!! I have been doing okay for about 2 days, which is "good" for me...but my typical pattern is to follow a food plan for 2-3 days and then binge. I am following a new plan now (madonna, we corresponded about this!) and I am not paying so much attention to calories, but I know I am consuming a LOT of calories...so the fear of going "off" plan is really scary...and now I'm doubting this whole food plan that I have chosen. The whole idea was to FREE me from my obsessive thinking but I don't know if it is working...of course, I want to lose some weight, too, but I keep doubting how that can happen with all that I am eating. My mind is just going in circles. I keep thinking I am a fool for doing what I am doing...and I feel very uncomfortable in my skin...which usually leads to bingeing for me. I just need to have faith that this can work.

Madonna, you had 1 day of eating that wasn't on plan for you...out of severa WEEKS, like you said...that is very good. Don't beat yourself up too much. We all understand the feeling, though. Hang in there.

Thanx getting well. At least this w/end I pulled myself back on track, I will not do this too my body again. I cannot emphasise the feeling of "so not worth it" enough.
I also wanted to say that I understand your hesitation about the new diet. It is not easy at first because you tend to overdo the food. This should normalise by itself, however in the beginning I was so preoccupied with eating I think it drove me to overeat and I would purposefully almost sabotage my efforts (I hope this makes sense) It was another one of those self destructive things that only we understand. As a result I was often driven to bingeing which made it even worse. I was continually challenging my body and more so my emotional state. I speak openly about this and have no problem discussing this if it helps anyone, as i know of the torment I went through. It is pure torture to be trapped in a world of only food, dieting and the dreaded scale. I am now in a much better place (but I still slipped and I am determined to break the thought pattern that I will always be recovering as I think it is possible to fully recover) Am I dreaming? Well if I am dreaming only attracts positive energy and I dream that one day I will feel freedom and know it wont come in a slice of chocolate cake smothered in frosting. That is just me, I would not stop at one slice so: I think I would rather shop for shoes and this is my suggestion: Find something, anything that will keep you busy and give you enjoyment besides food and the preoccupation with it. This seemed to help me and my sanity. after I slipped and binged the other day I knew it was going to be extra hard to get back on the wagon, so the following day I went shopping (not always the best option) and bought some great stuff. afterwards I sat in my favourite coffee shop and just spoilt myself with some extra special coffee and a cigarette!!! It helped, by the time I got home and had to cook supper I was feeling most importantly in control. I was able to eat comfortably and not obsess about anything. I am sorry for the ramble
everybody have a great week
Tracy

[LoraJR72]

I binged this weekend and I feel terrible. Why do I have this horrible addiction to food? I am not good with sharing how I feel to other people in person. I hope being online will and can help me.

[gettingwell]

Kim--good for you in going to an OA meeting! I keep looking up meetings in my area, but I have yet to make it to one. I hope you found it helpful.

Tracy--I'm glad you were able to get back onto your eating plan and that you have something that works for YOU.

Lora--sorry your weekend was hard. I seem to do okay for a few days then have problems, so I know exactly where you are coming from. Today is a new day...don't starve yourself, just eat what your body needs.

For myself, I am battling horrible, horrible body image issues. I just feel so fat and horrible about myself all the time. I know that my body probably does not look as bad as I think it does. Also, I am 44 years old...in reality, WHO CARES???? I am not seeking to be a fashion model. I don't know why I persist in caring so much about my body! I should focus my time and energy on other more worthwhile things...but I am stuck on body image. Since I gained so much weight very rapidly, I gained it mainly (I think) as fat--I don't think it is physiologically possibly to gain it as anything else...so I am very flabby. This drives me bonkers. I am angry with myself for bingeing so much and gaining so rapidly...instead of doing it 'RIGHT' like I told myself I would do. I just cannot get over the anger. I cry every time I think about it. I know I cannot go back and do it over again....but I have no patience as far as getting the extra weight off of me. I just feel I should be able to do it in 3 days--when it doesn't come off in 3 days, I binge. (For people who don't know my history, I was underweight for several months from overexercising/restricting..then starting binge eating AGAIN and gained about 35 pounds in a few months.)

I know I'm making very little sense and I'm rambling...I'm sorry. I just appreciate a place to unload these feelings....

[madonna1]

Originally Posted by LoraJR72

I binged this weekend and I feel terrible. Why do I have this horrible addiction to food? I am not good with sharing how I feel to other people in person. I hope being online will and can help me.

Hey LoraJR72
I am just getting over my stint from last week so I feel your pain and anguish. Give it a few days and during this time maybe try to focus on how far you have come instead of the mistake over the weekend. Acknowledge your mistake and try to work out why it happened, arming yourself in advance for the next time you might have f... it day / moment. My binge last week just wasn't worth the anguish it caused me. I could have avoided it but I just had a few bad thoughts running into one another and Wham I was blown over without any dignity left. I felt like crap. I want to remember feeling like crap so I don't let this happen again. Food addiction is so much harder (imho) because we can't stop cold turkey, we are linked with food so much everyday emotionally, physically and at every social gathering. From your previous posts I think you are doing great and offer a lot of support and encouragement just keep moving forward.

[Debb J]

Oh people...I feel as though I understand many of you. Wish I knew how to help.

This is only my second day of doing Atkins and I began *so excited* and confidant. I've just polished off an entire 8 oz. pkg. of cream cheese. Just sat and ate it right from the foil with a spoon. This was AFTER my evening meal which should have been plenty. Now I have that "packed" feeling and it's what I'm used to. I had assumed and believed by eating very low carbs that my blood sugar was going to begin stabilizing and I wouldn't crave extra food. Is it just way too soon? I really don't know what to think but I've tried SO hard.

[madonna1]

When I binge it is never on carbs, it is always on the "legal stuff." Cheese is a major trigger for me and even the hard type that is 0.1g carbs per 100g. I just don't stop and eventually I could consume 200g of hard cheese in one sitting which ends up being a whopping amount of calories. I have decided to once again give it a miss. Which is the only thing that works for me weather that is psychological or not i don't know.
Yesterday was somewhat hard for me because I felt a little stressed with work and generally everything that is going on. I got through the day and avoided any food that might trigger my already delicate mental state. At bedtime I felt stronger and more resilient than I had in the earlier hours, that is what is motivating me today.
Have a lovely day
Tracy

[LoraJR72]

Originally Posted by madonna1

When I binge it is never on carbs, it is always on the "legal stuff." Cheese is a major trigger for me and even the hard type that is 0.1g carbs per 100g. I just don't stop and eventually I could consume 200g of hard cheese in one sitting which ends up being a whopping amount of calories. I have decided to once again give it a miss. Which is the only thing that works for me weather that is psychological or not i don't know.
Yesterday was somewhat hard for me because I felt a little stressed with work and generally everything that is going on. I got through the day and avoided any food that might trigger my already delicate mental state. At bedtime I felt stronger and more resilient than I had in the earlier hours, that is what is motivating me today.
Have a lovely day
Tracy

Hi, Tracy!

That sounds like me binging on dairy instead of the carby stuff. Even with my best intentions I wound up eating the rest of it and then threw the rest away. I choose to make better choices and stand firm.

[Kimad]

Hi everyone! it sounds like we just have to hang in and fight the good fight -some days are good some days really -well ya know! Someone told me to stop worrying about the # on the scale because where I am at today is where my body wants to be. Interesting-now if only my head and my body could get together! So for today my scale is away-in the attic. I am really trying to focus on health and being kind to myself.

I am a compulsive overeater and compulsive dieter. I did go to OA on Sat. but my disease is screaming at me to diet-diet-diet. So I am trying the Metabolism Miracle Plan which I tried this summer-lost weight and then caved. I really think the info. is good and have always believed this binge problem is both mental and physical. I react physically to certain foods. Even when life is going fine i am triggered certain things.


The MM is 8 weeks of lo-carb -yet some carbs. Then a weight loss period that adds in healthy carbs but spaced thru the day. Step one is for fat loss and you are not suppossed to weigh yourself because it is more about inches than weight loss. The author is a nutritionist with an extensive background. It is meant for people who have tried to lose weight and nothing works. I used to be able to drop 5 lbs in a week now even if I run 5 days/count calories/drink water-I lose maybe 1/2 lb. I really think my metabolism is a total mess from dieting.

Ok -hopefully I am on my way to health and not another diet.

Gettingwell-I totally know about body image. I have been isolating like crazy lately. I have missed so much of life lately because my jeans are tight-not a way to live.

Sorry cant get to personals-gotta run. Wishing everyone a great
day!

[Sugar Free Franny]

Just wanted to chime in...

I have been doing really good except last night I made a swedish apple pie "for the family" and ended up having some. I didn't overeat it so that's positive, but I still had it. I know that I can't eat sugar. It not only triggers cravings, but it's not good for my blood sugar levels. I woke up this morning wanting to have more of the swedish apple pie and did taste a little tiny bit, but walked away from it. If I start my day off with protein, I feel very satisified so, I had some cashews and will have some eggs with cheese soon. I can truly relate to doing well for three days or so and then feeling justified to have something that isn't supposed to be in my food plan.

[LoraJR72]

I am trying to day to day binge free evening goals. I was very successful last night and I hope to do the same tonight. I'd like to say every night but I must set a goal one evening at a time to succeed.

[Arubabound10]

I am totally an overeater. The first time I did the Atkins diet I lost 30 lbs and dont remember overeating an issue as long as they were vlc. Maybe its age and metabolism. I am trying to portion control. Lots of fluids. still no weight loss????????

[LoraJR72]

Welcome All.Food Addiction - "Weekly Thread" - Oct. 1 thru Oct. 8

Hop on board a new week. Let's get through this together!

[madonna1]

Hi Everyone
The last few days I have been hanging on by a thread. I have purposefully been going to bed early (evenings are my worse) just to get the day over with (not the way I want to spend my life) Anyway today is the first day after my binge (the other week) that I finally feel ok. I am moving forward, I am passed this. I have to remember not to entertain thoughts of bingeing as this leads me to binge (our thoughts become us) How complex this disorder is and most times it is so shameful we don't seek help. It has taken me a full week to just get back on track and feel optimistic about beating this.
I hope everyone has a great w/end.
Tracy