Binge Eating Disorder

[Kimad]

Hi everyone! I am also a binge eater and the weight has really packed on this winter due to a lot of stress. I have been reading all the post and it has really been helpful. I hate how I feel after I binge and hate that it comsumes my life. I have done OA, some therapy and been to a support group for people with eating problems. I did great weight wise at OA but was still in my disease just abstinent. I lost the weight and left the program. I still may go back just trying to find a way to do it on my own.

I have never been successful with lo-carb but after reading it seems to help binge-eating. I am not following a specific plan just seeing what my body responds to. I like Dr. Eric Berg's food plan for specific body types and am using that as a guide. I say guide because I am also a compulsive dieter and if I think I messed up a plan I go crazy with a binge. Can you say perfectionist??? I wish my brain was not so black and white. I eat a cookie and it becomes huge-so 1 becomes 20!!

I'll keep you posted on my journey!

[sandyn]

Hi all
I am finishing day 6 of no binges. I feel like the monster is right around the corner waiting to trip me up
I signed up for a couple of the online OA groups. They are ok. Its just nice to know that there are other people like me. That I am not the only one that hides in the bedroom eating a pack of cookies.

I hope you are all doing well

[Jen415]

Well done Sandy! I am eight days binge free!

[sskennedy]

binged for 2 days. i was almost 5 months binge free!!

back on strict atkins. mostly meat
thats the only thing that keeps me in line

[CaitSith]

Hi Ladies,

You all are doing so well in your endeavors to stay binge-free. I wanted to offer my support and say that I am behind you all the way. You have to take it one day at a time, sometimes one minute a time a time. I am truly proud of all of us.

[Savannah]

Originally Posted by CourtneyC

Hi Sea
I have actually joined OA and I attend online meetings via this website. It's helpful and encouraging and between this website and that one, it keeps me grounded. I'm always logged onto to one of them. Let me give you the website its:

12 Step 4 COE's

if you click on meetings it will tell you when they are; I think it's eastern time. Also you can request literature and download literature there too.

Hi ! Thank you so much for posting this site! I have been binging daily for the past 3 weeks or more, lost track of time!

[CaitSith]

Almost had a full blown episode today. A few hours ago, I ate 2 high calorie, high carb, high sugar items for dinner because I was feeling depressed. Usually, I am so black and white with my meal plans that if I blow a meal, I would say "eff it" for the rest of the night and pig out.

Instead, about an hour after I ate those 2 items, I went for a 30 min. jog. I feel much better (thank you, exercise endorophins) and I will continue on plan for the rest of the night. I need to teach myself that every day does not have to be all or nothing. I can forgive myself for a slip and continue to be good to my body for the rest of the evening now.

[sskennedy]

cait- i am the same way. all or nothing.

thats huge progress ur making.

keep up the good work, im rooting for you!!

[winningthebattle]

4 Days binge free- yippee!!!!

Its so great to find people to relate to. I am trying to work on the all or nothing attitude, too. One of the LC friends suggested a grading system. I think thats such a good idea.

Kimad, it sounds like we have a similar diet mentality, I am SUCH a perfectionist, too!! So much that I'd consider even an A- day a failure....then binge as punishment. Its so twisted. I am now just focussed on keeping my day a b- or above. And I know what you mean about 1 cheat turning into 20. I can guarantee that if I have one cheat food, I will gain 7 pounds before I stop.

Sandyn-Love your comment about the "monster hiding around the corner". Thats exactly how I feel!!! But you're 6 days binge-free? That's incredible!!!

Have a great, binge-free day everyone!!

[DelilahAnne]

Originally Posted by winningthebattle

Has anyone read a Kay Sheppard book yet? SO helpful!! I wasn't familiar with the term "trigger food". I was able to easily identify mine, its staying away from them thats the problem!!

Good for you Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DelilahAnne]

Originally Posted by i.am.jenn

Hello. My name is Jenn and I have a binge eating disorder.

I'm hoping there are a few bingers out there who are interested in trying to get healthy and work through their binge eating disorder.

About me:

I have been a binge eater since I was a teenager... if not my entire life. I have recently started working with a counselor to fully address my eating disorder and to help me conquer this demon.

My binges are embarassing. They last for days. I will buy food at different locations so the employee's do not recognize me. I will eat it all in my car and even resort to littering to hide the evidence from my husband or anyone who might see my car. I plot, I manipulate, I hide. My binge eating disorder affects me when I'm stressed, upset, scared, happy... really anything is a good excuse. I usually binge on fast food and sweets.

I have tried for years to suppress the eating disorder... but I am, for once, actually trying to deal with it. I would love to see if there are more people out there who are dealing with theirs... not suppressing it.

If you can relate to this, hopefully you'll post and we can talk about our struggles with it together.

Jenn

Jenn, you are an angel to me. Seriously, an angel. Im nearly , 45, diabetic for nearly 10 years and a binge eater since at least the age of 10. I have probably cut my life short by decades by this awful disease. I'm with you. I really really am.

[DelilahAnne]

Originally Posted by i.am.jenn

In hopes that more people will join/share... here is more of me.

I have spent the last few weeks eating whatever I want. Not a binge. My counselor has encouraged me to get out of the mindset of food being "bad" or "good" for me. This kind of thinking is why, when I binge, I eat "bad" food. And I enjoy every last minute of it. I eat fast food, of all sorts. I eat sweets. I would be here all day if I listed all the goodies that I have to get in on a binge.

So the last few weeks I've had to talk myself through things.

I want a burger.
Okay, have a burger.
But burgers are bad for me.
Not anymore. You can have this burger. IF you REALLY want it.
I don't believe you.
No, it's true. You can have this burger.
Oh yeah? Well, I'm gonna have one. Just to spite you.

So I ordered it. And ate it. And it was delicious. But while I enjoyed the flavor I didn't get a sick satisfaction out of it while I was eating it. It was strange.

So I've dealt with this over the last few weeks. I've fought the urge to hide the eating. I've fought the urge to buy food at multiple places so the cashier won't think "No wonder she's a fat fat fatty." No plotting, no craziness. If I have wanted it, I've eaten it. And it's been no big deal.

I have discovered that it's "Okay" to not order my entire "usual" meal. Like Taco Bueno, I always get (for one meal): Chicken Mucho Nachos, 2 Bean and cheese burritos (with hot sauce) and an order of Cheesecake Chimichangas. Last time I went I was able to say "Ya know, it's okay if I just get the Nachos and cheesecake because I can totally have the burritos tomorrow if I still want them."

I haven't had them yet. And it's "okay". I'm not preoccupied with them, I don't feel cheated and I'm totally okay with the fact that I can eat them for dinner tonight if I want them or I can have tomorrow and that I WILL have them one day in the future.

This, my friends, is an amazing breakthrough for me. I think I am mostly amazed that I don't feel cheated for not getting them.

I have decided to work on portion control in addition to continuing my work on changing my outlook on food. I am also working on changing my focus of food back onto whole foods and off of junk. I have to remind myself, I CAN have the junk. It's okay. I just don't want it for every meal. For right, every few days will be fine... but I'd like to reduce it to once a week.

So that's where I stand today. I hope more people will join me in this adventure.

Hi Jenn, I'm just getting used to this website, so I will have to figure out how to reply without repeating the post. So, excuse me. I have been to Weight Watchers 5 or 6 times in my life, Lean Line, OA, hypnosis (when I was 16 and "only" 20 pounds overweight.) I'm about 80 lbs. overweight now. Have you tried FAA or heard about them? Food Addicts Anonymous. I've joined their group twice. I think they have the answer, however, being the serious addict I am, I can't string more than 1 sugar-flour-wheat free day together. Just wondering. I like your idea. Problem is, I've been trying that idea for over 30 years.

[DelilahAnne]

Originally Posted by sandyn

Hi all
I am finishing day 6 of no binges. I feel like the monster is right around the corner waiting to trip me up
I signed up for a couple of the online OA groups. They are ok. Its just nice to know that there are other people like me. That I am not the only one that hides in the bedroom eating a pack of cookies.

I hope you are all doing well

No, you are NOT alone.

[sandyn]

Originally Posted by Jen415

Well done Sandy! I am eight days binge free!

great job! I am happy to say that I am up to 12

Originally Posted by sskennedy

binged for 2 days. i was almost 5 months binge free!!

back on strict atkins. mostly meat
thats the only thing that keeps me in line

you don't know how it scares me to read that. I wonder how long you have to make it binge free before you can just quit worrying about it? I suppose it is like being an alcoholic, and you can't ever let your guard down.
I am also mainly doing meat and fat this time. I don't have any interest in bingeing on meat.

Originally Posted by Savannah

Hi ! Thank you so much for posting this site! I have been binging daily for the past 3 weeks or more, lost track of time!

I hope you are feeling better and have gotten past your binges

Originally Posted by CaitSith

Almost had a full blown episode today. A few hours ago, I ate 2 high calorie, high carb, high sugar items for dinner because I was feeling depressed. Usually, I am so black and white with my meal plans that if I blow a meal, I would say "eff it" for the rest of the night and pig out.

Instead, about an hour after I ate those 2 items, I went for a 30 min. jog. I feel much better (thank you, exercise endorophins) and I will continue on plan for the rest of the night. I need to teach myself that every day does not have to be all or nothing. I can forgive myself for a slip and continue to be good to my body for the rest of the evening now.

that is awesome! great job

Originally Posted by sskennedy

cait- i am the same way. all or nothing.

thats huge progress ur making.

keep up the good work, im rooting for you!!

me too. I have so many parties to go to this summer, it is going to be difficult to resist all the temptations. and if I do give in, how do I stop it from turning into a full blown month long eat myself up another 20 pounds before I stop? sometimes I want to cry. I am so glad that you are all here and can understand what I mean. yesterday, on another not diet related board, someone posted "everything in moderation". Yeah, whateve... until you have dealt with this disease, you don't know what you are talking about. There is no such thing as moderation in my little messed up food world.

Originally Posted by winningthebattle

4 Days binge free- yippee!!!!

Its so great to find people to relate to. I am trying to work on the all or nothing attitude, too. One of the LC friends suggested a grading system. I think thats such a good idea.

Kimad, it sounds like we have a similar diet mentality, I am SUCH a perfectionist, too!! So much that I'd consider even an A- day a failure....then binge as punishment. Its so twisted. I am now just focussed on keeping my day a b- or above. And I know what you mean about 1 cheat turning into 20. I can guarantee that if I have one cheat food, I will gain 7 pounds before I stop.

Sandyn-Love your comment about the "monster hiding around the corner". Thats exactly how I feel!!! But you're 6 days binge-free? That's incredible!!!

Have a great, binge-free day everyone!!

Hi winningthebattle- I saw you over on the VLC thread. So far, eating that way has help alot with the cravings. Not ready to say it is the answer to my problems, but it is making it easier to deal with. I am up to day 12!


I will ditto that
have a great binge free day everyone. keep the monster away one more day

[bikini bound]

I am so happy I found this board!! I have a binge problem that I have developed over the last 2 years. I did a highly restrictive diet and got down to 147 lbs. and then had a little cheat, which turned into a huge binge. I've struggled since then and have put back on everything that I lost plus some. I had a binge this morning and enough is enough. I could really use (and give) some support to get through this and would love to join this group.

[sandyn]

Originally Posted by bikini bound

I am so happy I found this board!! I have a binge problem that I have developed over the last 2 years. I did a highly restrictive diet and got down to 147 lbs. and then had a little cheat, which turned into a huge binge. I've struggled since then and have put back on everything that I lost plus some. I had a binge this morning and enough is enough. I could really use (and give) some support to get through this and would love to join this group.

a big welcome hug. many of us have been through just what you have and sabotaged our weight loss.

we will all support each other in our struggles to overcome this problem in our lives

[DelilahAnne]

You are not alone!!!!!

[bikini bound]

Thank you for the welcome!

[winningthebattle]

Day 12?!? Amazing!!

[sskennedy]

ok, enough is enough!! how crappy can i make myself feel, before stopping!!

i am starting over tomorrow!!!!!

meat and fat!!! ill keep u posted, good luck to all

[sandyn]

Originally Posted by sskennedy

ok, enough is enough!! how crappy can i make myself feel, before stopping!!

i am starting over tomorrow!!!!!

meat and fat!!! ill keep u posted, good luck to all

hi Sharon- no advice, just a warm hug. Remember when you are feeling down that all of your fellow "BEDers" are here to hold you up. good luck hun

[bikini bound]

Good Morning Everyone!

Just checking in and wishing everyone well today!

[CaitSith]

Originally Posted by sskennedy

ok, enough is enough!! how crappy can i make myself feel, before stopping!!

i am starting over tomorrow!!!!!

meat and fat!!! ill keep u posted, good luck to all

*hugs* one day at a time

[sandyn]

2 weeks since the binge monster has visited. TOM is even here and did not bring Mr B.M. with him.

I hope you all are doing well. Long weekends can be hard.

[bwylde]

I never noticed this thread before. I too am a binge eater and it is a constant struggle. Things have been especially bad since life is so stressful right now and I always head right for the food. I had been doing really well and I know without the occasional binge-fest I could lose weight so much faster. I try not to keep trigger foods in the house and make it inconvenient to binge. I can't just leave the house if the kids are sleeping and DH is working at night and since I don't like people to know about it, it is hard to leave the family behind as someone inevitably wants to come with me if I go somewhere and if I buy treats, it's open season. It's like my secret shame. Sometimes I start and I can't stop then when it's over, I am full of self loathing, how can I keep doing that to myself? Sometimes it just starts with mindlessly eating something then it progresses to eating anything that's not nailed down and the worse it is for me, the more likely it is I will eat it. I need to get back in therapy as I've never discussed binging before as I'm so ashamed but I need to work past it.

[CaitSith]

Hello all, Stay strong this weekend. If you slip, forgive yourself, then continue to love and appreciate yourself. Remember your body is a temple.

[sandyn]

Originally Posted by bwylde

I never noticed this thread before. I too am a binge eater and it is a constant struggle. Things have been especially bad since life is so stressful right now and I always head right for the food. I had been doing really well and I know without the occasional binge-fest I could lose weight so much faster. I try not to keep trigger foods in the house and make it inconvenient to binge. I can't just leave the house if the kids are sleeping and DH is working at night and since I don't like people to know about it, it is hard to leave the family behind as someone inevitably wants to come with me if I go somewhere and if I buy treats, it's open season. It's like my secret shame. Sometimes I start and I can't stop then when it's over, I am full of self loathing, how can I keep doing that to myself? Sometimes it just starts with mindlessly eating something then it progresses to eating anything that's not nailed down and the worse it is for me, the more likely it is I will eat it. I need to get back in therapy as I've never discussed binging before as I'm so ashamed but I need to work past it.

welcome!
Those binges are a secret shame. I am a couponer and it always seems like the deals are on junk. I buy it with the best of intentions(I will save this candy for Easter, or so and so's birthday). The next thing I know, is ALLL of those bags of candy or cookies are gone. My kids are in school and DH is at work so it is very easy for me to be alone to binge. I never ever do it in front of them. I have had times where I am waiting for someone to leave the house so I can binge and getting irritated inside myself because they are taking too long. Or waiting for my hub to fall asleep so I can sneak some food.

[maria40nc]

Originally Posted by bwylde

It's like my secret shame. Sometimes I start and I can't stop then when it's over, I am full of self loathing, how can I keep doing that to myself? Sometimes it just starts with mindlessly eating something then it progresses to eating anything that's not nailed down and the worse it is for me, the more likely it is I will eat it. I need to get back in therapy as I've never discussed binging before as I'm so ashamed but I need to work past it.

I've lurked on this thread several times, but have been too embarassed to post much. Seems I only come to this thread when I'm in the middle of a binge!

What you said is SO familiar. For me it always starts with something that is on plan... but I eat too much of it, and then can't seem to stop. This often turns into carb binging, mainly because the food items are cheaper and easier to binge on.... like cereal and milk. Once I start it seems to rotate between salty and sweet items; first one and then the other. By the time I get done it looks like a tornado hit my kitchen and I find things or wrappers laying out that I don't even recall getting into.

[CaitSith]

Ugh...this has been a really BAD week for me: TOM. In the past, I have been able to control the urges and cravings around this this time...not this week. In additon to having a complete emotional meltdown, I have indulged in all sorts of garbage everyday. My body is the "garbage temple" this week. I loathe myself for this loss of control. I feel I need to get back to my readings, seek out my resources and restart "clean" tomorrow. I know I have th support of all of you..it makes things a bit easier..anyways, just needed to get that off my chest. I was too ashamed to post this in my main journal

[StarrXdLvr]

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to let you know that although I have lurked here for years, today is Day 1 of me deciding to come out of the closet with my weight and eating issues. I too am a binge eater. My demons are sweets and fast food. An entire box of cereal in one sitting, multiple slices of cake, enough food from McDonald's to feed 3 people, etc. etc. etc. Been there done that.

I really admire everyone for coming out with it and sharing their stories. I have found this thread tremendously helpful. It's actually been a couple of days since my last binge and I'm hoping to keep it going. My problem is that I have an addictive personality and have a tendency to replace one addiction with another: if it's not food it's alcohol, cigarettes, or relationships...I eat to feel numb, when I'm bored, lonely, upset, anxious, etc. I will eat and eat and eat until I'm full to bursting or until I get sick.

I will keep you all posted on my progress and remain interested in yours and it's my hope that being back on Atkins will help control some of the food cravings. Keep posting--there are hundreds or thousands of people out there who are reading this and being helped by your openness, even if they aren't posting.