Binge Eating Disorder

[i.am.jenn]

Laura: Good luck on reinduction! We are here if you need to vent more. I feel like I'm at rock bottom too. I went to the doctor yesterday and according to their scale I am back to my max recorded weight. It makes me sad and brings up all kinds of desires to follow a fad diet and shove comfort food into my face all at the same time. Take care!

[Starzmom]

Laura, Jenn..You guys are so much more than a number on a scale. Laura it's not the end of the world to have no social life. Concentrate on developing who you are inside...education, learning about yourself and what you want out of life. Social life comes and goes but if you develop your inner self that will last your whole life. It's better you cancelled your gastric bypass if you were not sure about it. Best of luck on induction. Jenn...you da lady! You're gonna be a great nurse. I know what it's like to be the heaviest of your life. Try to love yourself in spite of that and keep working on your issues.
I binged again yesterday. It just started with one thing ya know but then it was everything. I'm thinking of going zero carb for awhile but first I need to use my yoghert and veggies I have. I did count my carbs the days I didn't binge this week and they are around 100 a day so lower carbs may help avoid some binges. I just gotta get there and see if that will help.

[xbeyondthebeautyx]

Originally Posted by i.am.jenn

Laura: Good luck on reinduction! We are here if you need to vent more. I feel like I'm at rock bottom too. I went to the doctor yesterday and according to their scale I am back to my max recorded weight. It makes me sad and brings up all kinds of desires to follow a fad diet and shove comfort food into my face all at the same time. Take care!

I know girl......I believe this is the only way to go. LC is where its at!! Hang in there and turn ot over!

[hannahrose123]

Cindy do you plan on eating that low of carbs for the long haul?
and 5'7 at 123 pounds sounds too thin..I mean if you are happy then okay but it sounds like you are too obsessed with weight and food..

I used to be 103 pounds at 5'4 and I didn't even realize how skinny I was..i was obsessed with food. I thought about it all the time, what I'm going to eat when I am going to eat it, how I'm going to burn it off. Low carbing is just another version of it all. I have recently got up to 120, and in the beginning it was hard but I know I am healthier and even if you have to be a little bit heavier if it allows you to not be obsessed with food you will be happier in the long run.

Also..low carbing like that will mess up your metabolism and how you digest carbs, if you ever introduce them again. Everytime I eat carbs, especially high sugar ones my heart races and I wake up in the middle of the night sweating.

I know a lot of you say you cant even eat healthy carbs because they lead to binges but if you try really hard and just believe that it wont lead to a binge you can do it. I am an example of it. It takes a lot of will power and hard work and it might not happen for awhile but if you stick with it, it could pay off.

It took me months of just eating whatever I wanted to get a healthier relationship with food, and yes it made me gain weight. But now I can start eating healthier again but not be obsessed about my weight and food.

I know you probably don't want to hear it from me, but I just wanted to say something.

Good luck though.

[gettingwell]

What you say about NOT eating carbs messing up metabolism really scares me...and makes me so confused about what I should do and how I should go about trying to conquer all my demons. I can learn to live without certain foods--if I can be at peace...I just can't handle the obsessiveness over food. I am hoping that a LC/VLC WOE will help me with that--it seems it does help some people, but I don't know about long-term success.

[galexina]

Hi there
I am so glad I found this thread. I am a rock bottom binger, 42. Been in and
out of oa/grey sheet, no programs, diets, low carb ect for years.

Jen,it sounds like your therapist is having you do intuitive eating.
Is that correct? I have always been intersted in it, but cave in
once I dont have the structure of a food plan. I need a nice balance
between structure and free eating.

I really am enjoying these posts. I wish we could be added to the chat
function. I have spent the last 3 days trying to find a chat site for bingers.
With no luck. There were a few but I could not get on them due to my computers firewall/ per its my work computer. I needed to chat so bad
last night, with other bingers. I knew it would have helped cut my binge
down, if I could have reached out and said I am out of controll.

Night times are the worst. I just keep doing myself in. When I eat carbs
like pizza I fall a sleep. I cant even keep my eyes awake. I feel like
a drunk that passed out on the couch. I am also a recovering aloholic.
Almost 6 years sober. I have often said, I am more of an alcoholic with food
than alcohol!

I am posting my email adress .I am trying to build a network of support
with bingers. And for some reason oa is not working for me right now.
I do listen to alot of greysheet phone meetings but they are very sticted .
You must weigh and measure all food, all the time no matter where you are.
It sets me off. Per I feel so humiliated being a freak with food as it is.
Then to have to take a digital scale out in public, just makes me nuts.
I wind up binger harder. I do well following the grey sheet food plan
with modifications. Per I can seem to handle to many carbs.

I know this is a huge emotional disorder too. I would love to connect
with you folks and see if I can figure a way out of this hell
I am in. Here is my email adress. Please no soliciations, just bingers reply.
Thanks so much

galexina@hotmail.com / Cara is my name.

[galexina]

I know this was written over a month ago. But I was the mom that gave in to the peporoni pizza last night. My son had a cousin over. And crap. I at pizza, then icecream,then popcorn, then licorice, it, then passed out on couch.

It was aweful.

[i.am.jenn]

Hannah: I'm about a month into my "whatever" to retrain my brain. I'm doing better but still need a lot of work.

Gettingwell: You need to read a few books on low carb diets. They lay out what the diet does to your body and how it works. When you get into "ketosis" your metabolism has converted to a different process to make energy. Instead of using carbohydrates that you ingest daily for energy, it uses your fat and then muscle for energy. If you constantly bounce back and forth between LC and other diets, your metabolism switches back and forth and yes, it does damage. If you don't follow Atkins, I would still read his book for the explanation of how LC diets work with the body. He has a nice laymens way of putting it so that most people can understand the basic science behind it. I think it will help you understand what works for you.

Cara - I think she is leading me towards the more traditional idea of healthy eating. Moderation, portion control and mostly healthy choices. I don't know that it has a name but it sounds like what I want in my eating. I emailed you.

[i.am.jenn]

Cara: Don't keep beating yourself up over the pizza. Move forward. You are doing good TODAY.

[CindyCRNA]

Hanna, Welcome to the forum. Don't worry, we like opposing views as it can force us to look at a situation differently. You are right, I am obsessed. I find that I can't have a normal relationship with food. I have absolutely no portion control unless I weigh, measure and chart on Fitday. If there is pizza, 1 or 2 pieces won't do. I must have 4. Bowl of ice cream. 0h, no, it must be 2 cups. Left to my own devices, I would eat like a trucker. My mother is 5'4' and weighs 230 pounds, has adult onset diabetes and hypertension. She is the same way. Always eating with no regard whether she is hungry and eating beyond full. I am the same way but this is how I cope with it. I have only been low carbing for 2 months and am surprised at how much control it has given me. Even with hungry, I eat what I am supposed to, not binge. I post elsewhere on this forum and I find many LCing for DECADES. Yes, some have been LC since the 70's. A lot have been more than 5 years. I'm not sure about the messing up your metabolism thing. It's not anything I have read but I am open to reading about it if you have a reference. Like Galexina, it starts with one piece of something, then boom. When it comes to pizza, I find I can just eat the toppings off a couple of pieces and not trigger any cravings.

[hannahrose123]

No I didn't mean not eating carbs will mess up your metabolism, I just meant it could change how you digest them in the future. I have a lot of trouble digesting carbs because I went for so long without them.
The people who have been doing it for that long don't eat carbs..so you don't know what the effects would be if they started eating them again.

[CaitSith]

Hi everyone,

I'm JJ. I wanted to join this thread to seek and offer support to those of us with B.E.D. My story starts out with childhood reinforcement. As a kid, I was always rewarded with food for doing well in school, being good at sunday school and getting my chores done etc... When I was 11 yrs. old, my parents had me go and stay with my aunt because we had just moved back to the U.S. from a foreign country (they had to go set up house). My aunt saw how chubby I was (not even OBESE, but chubby) and she put me on a hardcore restrictive diet. When she went to bed, I began to sneak food out of the fridge and freezer. Even when my parents came back and we moved into our new home, the behaviour continued.

All through my teenage years, I struggled with my weight, not knowing what "moderation" meant. Of course, my girlfriends told me about starvation diets etc...I starved myself all through high school. I saw my best friend lose her hair when I was 17 due to anorexia. I stopped starving and took up smoking to curb my appetite.

To make a LONG story short: As an adult, I continued to yo-yo, even while smoking. When I was in my late twenties, I quit smoking and gained 30lbs. Shortly after that, I took up non-competitive bodybuilding to change my physique. I was doing so well, having "re-learned" how to eat and be moderate. I was given the tools (including LC WOE) to give myself the body I wanted.

Now, I still am able to get that body, but I find myself going UP and DOWN during the year. After months of family bdays (Oct - Jan, including X-mas), I gained a bunch of weight , about 15lbs. I was not able to control the binging this year, the way I had in years past.

I am 2 days clean...without a binge.

[CaitSith]

Originally Posted by hannahrose123

No I didn't mean not eating carbs will mess up your metabolism, I just meant it could change how you digest them in the future. I have a lot of trouble digesting carbs because I went for so long without them.
The people who have been doing it for that long don't eat carbs..so you don't know what the effects would be if they started eating them again.

Yes, this may be true for some people...myself included. When I eat sugar and starch, I get the worst gas and lethargy..argh..like someone loaded me up with beans and sleeping pills. When I am not binging, I stick to natural forms of starch and sugar (fruits, nuts and cruciferous vegetables). I do not have a problem digesting these.

[hannahrose123]

Yeah I can eat fruits and vegetables with no problems. Its just when I eat simple carbs like ice cream or spaghetti my heart races and pounds in my chest. And if its late enough at night I usually wake up sweating in the middle of the night.

[xbeyondthebeautyx]

Originally Posted by Starzmom

Laura, Jenn..You guys are so much more than a number on a scale. Laura it's not the end of the world to have no social life. Concentrate on developing who you are inside...education, learning about yourself and what you want out of life. Social life comes and goes but if you develop your inner self that will last your whole life. It's better you cancelled your gastric bypass if you were not sure about it. Best of luck on induction. Jenn...you da lady! You're gonna be a great nurse. I know what it's like to be the heaviest of your life. Try to love yourself in spite of that and keep working on your issues.
I binged again yesterday. It just started with one thing ya know but then it was everything. I'm thinking of going zero carb for awhile but first I need to use my yoghert and veggies I have. I did count my carbs the days I didn't binge this week and they are around 100 a day so lower carbs may help avoid some binges. I just gotta get there and see if that will help.

Thanks Starz

[xbeyondthebeautyx]

Hey Ya'll I fell off again, but Im not waiting until tomorrow...Im starting to lc and no binge NOW!!! Thats a big deal for me, usually its Ill start again tomorrow!!!

[i.am.jenn]

Hello ladies!

I am proud to report that I faced a trigger today and dealt with it. I was in the mood for a White Mocha at Starbucks so I went up and bought one. Instead of running away I sat in there and enjoyed my coffee (until I felt the need to plant my foot in some guys big mouth... but that's another story altogether!)

Yes, I looked in the glass cabinet. Half a dozen blueberry muffins, sitting there, ready to be enjoyed by my mouth, to fill up my stomach, give me a sugar high as my body converts it to glucose and then into lipid padding to join the cushion of my toosh.

I was okay with not eating them. I know I can have one tomorrow if I really want it. Today they have no power over me. Today I am stronger than a muffin.

It's very peaceful!

[galexina]

Hi all
just a quick post. To say, I am greatful we can have a place to talk about our binging
and individual food choices with out judgement. Today was not really a binge
day, but ate a few different low carb/sugar free things at night.
Feel hopeful though.

Gal

[Starzmom]

Originally Posted by xbeyondthebeautyx

Hey Ya'll I fell off again, but Im not waiting until tomorrow...Im starting to lc and no binge NOW!!! Thats a big deal for me, usually its Ill start again tomorrow!!!

That is good. Yes we can start over right away. Tomorrow is just an excuse to binge the night away, right?
I've been doing well for a few days. Keeping my carbs lower is helping me plus I'm feeling more committed.

Jenn.."Today I am stronger than a muffin"...words to live by. I'll substitute whatever object of desire I see/think about into your powerful sentence! Thanks.

[CindyCRNA]

I read somewhere that when we eat when we are not hungry, we are attempting to change the way our body feels. I try to remember that when i am tired and rummaging around in the fridge or depressed or exhausted. I realize that what I really need is a nap, get more sleep, quit signing up for all that overtime, quit drinking too much coffee, quit stringing my body out, then trying to over stuff it with food to compensate for a way too stressful lifestyle. I try to remember that the quick fix of a muffin is going to be brief and not fix the fact that I got to bed at 4 am. I am trying not to use food as a drug. I say, "I try". It doesn't always work but I am winning more and more.

[CaitSith]

Originally Posted by i.am.jenn

I was okay with not eating them. I know I can have one tomorrow if I really want it. Today they have no power over me. Today I am stronger than a muffin.

It's very peaceful!

Good girl I love that you said this: ...today they have no power over me!!

4 days without a binge. I feel better this week than I have in a long time. I will stay strong.

[galexina]

I love that you said "try" just today I was thinking I would love to only eat food for fuel.
But reatistically I know I will always probaly eat for pleasure too.
So I like a happy medium, which is I hope to eat mostly for fuel and some of the time
for pleasure. I can very much relate to eating instead of sleeping, actually eating over and for everything. Its nice to share the journey.

[xbeyondthebeautyx]

1 DAY BINGE FREE!!!!!! I stayed on plan

[Loveton]

I unfortunately can relate to the binging. It's been two weeks since my last one and I'm feeling pretty good. But in the back of my mind is the worry of the next urge and will I be able to fight it off?? I have gained and lost the same 15 pounds for the last 6 months and it's driving me NUTS. I'll be on plan for a few weeks then have a binge weekend/week and gain back the 15 or so I lost. I'm a fast food and sweets binger...we have three fast food places in my town and I have been known to frequent them all in the same night. Unfortunately it's looking like I've passed the habit onto my daughters. Even though you think everything is in secret its very rarely is. When the box of Tastykakes we just bought are suddenly gone...they tend to wonder why or when there are empty food bags in the trunk. Now I drive a mini van so there is not much room for hiding. I have yet to figure out the reason for the binges but I'm starting to keep track...I can be on plan for a month or more when all of a sudden on the way home from work or on the way in...I need donuts then it's all over. I can sometimes fight the urge off but never for long. I have an all or nothing personality so one slip and the weekend/week is a full blown binge fest. I am beginning to wonder if maybe it's connected to the scale...or that I'm "lonely". I'm a single mother of 3...the oldest being 18 and the youngest 2. I don't go out since having had my youngest and spend very little time "away" besides work. Not sure what the issue is yet but working on it! Hugs to everyone...we can beat this "addiction" or at least learn to control it. I'm tired of being controlled by food and the scale!

[Starzmom]

Good for you Laura. One day at a time. :-)
Jean..Two weeks is wonderful. Yeah we need other coping mechanisms than food.
For me it's four days.

[Loveton]

I went a year once with no binges at all. Unfortunately I replaced the binging with smoking and buying things. I quit smoking and am SLOWLY paying off my credit card debit...so don't want to go back there! I need to find something productive to cope. I'm working on exercise right now, seems to be working but time will tell! (fingers crossed)

[Starzmom]

Crafts are something good to do,too.

[galexina]

Great Laura. What a miracle. One day is AWESOME
I think I am on day 3 not sure. This site is really helping.
Trying to keep it up when working so if I feel bingey, I can vent.

Cara

[galexina]

Oh my gosh Jean
your kittie is sooo cute. Reminds me of my cat, who is one of the loves of my life.
I soo relate to the switching addictions. That is the story of my life.
This week has been good with the food. I pray I can stay off the binging.
Its such a devasting disorder. And just sucks the life out of me.

Reading has been a new obsession. When my son gos to sleep, its Twilight book time!!!

[CaitSith]

Originally Posted by galexina

Reading has been a new obsession. When my son gos to sleep, its Twilight book time!!!

hey galexina, I can totally relate to that. I love to read. Its a good way to keep your thoughts away from food obsession. I just finished the entire Twilight Saga..good reading...very juicy!