Food Addiction--New for 2008

[Pcola Girl]

CHANGED MY AVATAR

My new avatar is of my cat Sissy

[Sugar Free Franny]

Hey Mary and anyone else that wants to join us.

I thought I was doing ok, but I actually gained more weight. I am up four pounds. I truly cannot eat white flour and sugar AT ALL!! What happens is that I crave bad stuff when I do. I hadn't got on the scale for over a month (another boo boo) I have to keep myself in check. If I don't I obviously get out of control. I have continued to walk, but that is not enough.

I'll tell you how the actors and actresses do it, they are getting paid to stay that way. It would be a lot easier for me to stay skinny if I knew my career depended upon it. There are those actors and actresses that also gain though. It is very sad to me the way the tabloids attack them too. They have the same addictions as we do. What I realize though is that as with any addiction the object of addiction must be sustained from-COMPLETELY!!

I did well this morning. I had some chicken, eggs and a cheese stick. Lots of water today and back to detoxing. It's all that works.

Mary, I am sure that if you follow the Atkins way you will also be able to do this. I am only speaking from my own experience, but it proves to be true.

So, we can do this together. Support each other, stay away from sugar and white flour and any other carbs that trigger overeating.

Take care.

[NCgrl]

It's like pulling nails.It's all I think about.I'm doing pretty well right now but it's a fight for every inch.Every other commercial is some kind of great food.I am dangerously unhealthy but I just don't care.I'd rather eat.

This stems really deep for me.I have 3 sisters who are the same,just not fat like me.I know where each and every one of you is coming from.I know exactly how you feel.Every time I tell myself,just a little bit,one bite won't hurt.It does hurt and makes me feel bad,physically and mentally.

I know it has something to do with control in my case.I control every part of my life,my family's life,adult child of an alcoholic.If you know what's wrong,you should be able to fix it.I'd still rather eat.

Thanks for letting me rant.It feels good to get it out there.

[Pcola Girl]

http://

I am trying hard to stick to low carb plan but it sure is hard at times especially when there is sweets all around me and other foods I am not suppose to eat on low carb.
I did taste some of my grandsons birthday cake. Sometimes I just want to take a big slice of ssake and eat it up. My hunger gets to me at times and its hard to control to.

I to had two sisters who were alot thinner than I was and they still are and I have always got kidded about being so big even when I was a kid. I was tall and built like a swimmer with big muscles in my arms and legs. (By the way I love swimming) My sisters were shorter and smaller than I was, don't know why because my parents were not tall, just me...It had to be me to be like this, didn't it!!!

But even though I am tall (5ft. 7 inches) I still want to be thin. Not like those skinny hollywood stars, they look awful to me, like they are from a conceration camp or something. I want to weagh a normal weigh for me and be healthy and feel good, thats all.

I hate being addicted to food, and I have no idea why I got addicted to it in the first place. Maybe I ate when I was kid to make me feel good or hide how I was really feeling when people critized my size all the time. I don't know but I did get fat early in life. All I can do now is lose it.

[NCgrl]

I'm 5'10",been that way since the 6th grade.When everyone around you,even the boys are 5ft and under you feel huge.They tell you so,too.I wasn't even fat then.I was perfectly normal.I wasn't like everyone else though.I guess I turned to food for comfort.If everyone said I was fat anyway,what would it matter.

I come from a long line of addictive personalities.Alcohol,drugs,food.I just don't know how to deal.I guess it's one day,or meal,at a time.I sometimes think it's a chemical thing with me and I just got in the habit of wanting to eat all the time.I probably need serious counseling.

BTW Mary,your stats are really great.You must be doing something right.Nice job!

[Pcola Girl]

I am trying hard to lose it all but I have been fighting hard with it though and it has not been easy at all.

[Sugar Free Franny]

Well, I actually did ok on my trip. I stuck with mainly low carb foods. Thank goodness. I will push myself to get on the scale at least once a week so that I don't have that "shock" of a 4 pound gain like that. If I don't eat white flour, sugar, or any other high carb foods, I just don't have the same cravings. It is just like the alcoholic. I was also raised with alcoholics and drug addicts. I know that once you have that drink or in my case that high carb food, you just want more. What I am doing right now is reassuring myself that I can eat, I just need to make better choices when I do and when I do that I am happier, healthier and everything falls into place.

I was also a "chubby child". Society really is set up to see an overweight person as unattractive and unapproachable.

Thanks for letting me share with you all.

[NCgrl]

I know exactly how you feel,Fanny.One bite of something refined and I might as well crawl into the bottle.It effects me the same way as alcohol.Just can't stop myself.

Congrats on doing ok on your trip.I'd would've turned it into a carb free for all.
Better choices needs to be my mantra.

[Pcola Girl]

http://
Just a cartoon that I felt was funny and would make you laugh....

I always mess up bad when we are traveling anywhere. Wish my will power was stong but it isn't. But I am ding ok , I got weighed at my doctors today and I had lost three pounds since last month. I was pretty happy over that but my blood pressure was up some and I wasn't happy with that at all.
It has been going up and down lately and my doctor has been worried about it so I have to go have some test run and get more blood work done to next week.
He said with me losing weight like I have been doing that it should be better than it was today. I sort of think it may be one of my medications making it high. But anyway I am having it all checked out next week. Have no idea what test they will do but they told me to fast for it.

I am keeping my carbs pretty low most days. I do good when I am home but then my hubby comes in from work and wants to go out to eat, thats when I blow it, he cannot stay away from Golden Corral. He can eat till he is stuffed and never gains a pound and I am just the opposite. I look at food and gain...
Its not fair............I try to eat right when we go there but all that food is just so tempting I cannot control myself.
I know I just have to stay strong and make up my mind to not eat wrong.

How are you all doing with your eating? post often and let me know ok.
see ya tomorrow.

P.S. Have any of you been watching the news about the missing 3yr. old from Orlando. They have her mother in jail and they cannot get any information from her except lies. The child has been missing since June. The little girls name is Calyee. It is on the Nancy Grace news on cable. We get it on channel 34 but yours channel may be different.
I feel her mother killed her and has hid the body where she cannot be found.
Its really a puzzling and strange story... You all need to watch it

[Smythe]

Hi Everyone-
Here's my story in a nut shell... I have struggled with weight- or the preception of being overweight- since my college days (I'm 47 now). I starved myself in college and weighed about 105 lbs. Freedom came in the form of my first pregnancy and I gained 60 lbs! I ate everything I had denied myself and then some. That was the start of my uncontrolled eating. I was 172 and 5'2". Yp and down I went through 3 pregancies. Quit smoking 1994 and that was another struggle to keep the weight done. After awhile I guess I got tired of the constant battle and gave up. In 2004 i weighed 193 lbs and started Atkins for the 3rd time. There were terrible illnesses going on in my family that lingered for about 2 years (we lost 3 people in a 4 month span). I stayed on my plan and exercised like crazy to keep stress at bay and lost 70 lbs! I looked kinda gross...too skinny for my frame , but settled nicely at about 130lbs. I maintained that until this time last year. Then the climb began. I suffer from anxiety and I had a really hard time Aug-Oct of last year. I started to turn to food. Now I'm up 35 lbs...I weigh 164lbs, my clothes do not fit and I want to just say "I'm done"
Here is the bigger issue- I isolate myself now because I feel like a loser! Fat again, less of a person- weak, addicted etc. I can't seem to get a handle on it! I'm embarrassed to be fat again (although again I started at a size 16 now my clothes are 10's...but I was a size 4).

So that's it. i feel like this is my last ditch effort to connect to someone or something tat will help get me on track.
Thanks for listening...sorry so long

[smash]

Smythe, I completely understand your situation. I feel the exact same way as you do. I too struggled with the illusion of being overweight and in college I was 103 even that was too skinny for my small frame. And the first kid was the ticket to the food lane. I need to loose 30 lbs but am having a hard time with the connection to people and the control on food. I have come through so many personal struggles in the last two years I wonder if I have anything left to fight for myself. Somewhere inside I know its there I just can't find it or connect with it. Please let me know if I can be there for you. It sounds as if we are in the same boat.

[Pcola Girl]

Just checking in to see wqhats up with you all today.
Nothing much with me, just washing ome clothes thats all.
My eating is doing better today.

[Smythe]

Hi smash-
I figured there would be someone with a similar story here. I know what I have to do, it's just doing it that causes me the issue- LOL. This is no different than alcoholism in my mind. The problem is you can live without drink, but food is a basic need. I have to realize I can never have the types of foods that trigger me into a binge. This has been close to a year long- what the heck way of eating for me. I'm lucky I've only gained 30 lbs. I have to plan, white knuckle my way through the first 2 weeks and get my fat behind to the gym.
I'm up for any support we can supply to each other, but I have to warn you...I tend to disappear when I'm off the wagon, so I may leave you hanging. I'll start by posting here daily
Thanks for reaching out to me!

[LoraJR72]

Hello, all!

I know what it is like to have Food Addiction! It is scary but little by little it can be controlled. I was involved with Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous a few months ago. The 3 weighed and measured meals were fine. However, calling a sponsor at 6am, and going to 4 meetings a week were putting a strain on me. My DB grumbled about the amount of time spent away from home. Plus with travel time, making phone calls, planning meals, and shopping for meals, well, it got to be too much! It wasn't helping with my binge/purge disorder.

For the past two months, I've been involved with a doctor supervised eating disorder group. We meet once a week and it has helped me tremendously. I am actually eating in the manner of F.A.I.R.A. and feeling great! My binge/purge episodes are decreasing and I think of food more logically instead of mindlessly. I love to exercise! I'm trying to see what works in the ratio of weight-training/cardio. So far this week, I've been successful with the weight-training only and even lost a pound! (Probably water but I'll take it!)

Take care.

Lora

[duece49424]

Smythe - you definitely are not alone..your story sounds just like mine. Here are the differences; I'm 59, been widowed since 1993; my dad died last year; just lost my job; I have a son home with (24) who is mild cerebral palsy and mental disabilities; just put my house up for sale; just moved my daughter (23) to Florida to finish her masters degree; and, there is much more to my story. I joined this site 1 year ago, looking for my answer, reading everything I could to get myself under control. While reading, even a month ago, I kept stopping at the store, binging on a whole pint of ice cream and eating whatever I could. Meanwhile, was trying to eat lc meals, but couldn't stand the thought of not eating. I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat, eat, eat, whatever I could find. In April, I went to the doctor and found out I had some food allergies and a few other things wrong, nothing life threatening, but I started cutting out the foods, and it forced me to go lc, as I was allergic to yeast, wheat, rye, oats, gluten and several others ,the the bread, pasta etc., had to GO...I had been eating whole grains thinking it was healthy for me and found out otherwise. I found several forums to be helpful, and, a lot of nice people here. Last year I was holding 223 until April, then 218, and slowly down. What I found was a meat and egg forum and just did that this week - it was hard and I wanted to eat really bad but didn't...I am now 210. I am going back to the Dr. Atkins 72 version starting today, but feeling more under control.

I don't know if I helped you, but feel free to write back and there are several more things you can try when you feel like eating. I am no expert, still learning myself, but I read all the time.

Take care everyone, and have a great weekend!

[Sugar Free Franny]

Well, hello everyone. I am starting fresh this morning. Went on a camping trip and had a couple of smores Saturday and yesterday. Had pizza on Friday. Ugh!! I was doing so good too. It seems as though I can not get myself to finish a full two weeks of induction. I know that I cannot blame anyone else for my relapses. Only myself.

I believe I must have an allergy to those grains as well. I break out in FAT when I eat them LOL!!

Smythe, your story sounds like mine. I went through that same stage after being a "chubby kid" to being an underweight teenager barely eating and wearing a size 5 for a couple of years. I was actually in pretty good shape after having my first and second child. I really "dieted" and exercised my way down, but I was only able to eat "low fat" for so long before my body started to want real food.

I am very grateful for this way of eating because I really truly am not hungry when I eat low carb. It almost amazes me cause I can go hours without even thinking about food. It's quite awesome. It's when I unconsciously put something in my mouth that I know I don't need to eat because of peer pressure.

So, I continue to go forward and eat low carb starting today yet again. It will never be too late though is how I see it. I am trying and not giving up on myself. I know where that will lead me. Right back to my highest weight or maybe even higher. Not worth it.

[jrc207]

Hi!

I'm new to this forum, but not LC in general. (Feel free to lend guidance on posting ettiquette and logistics as you see fit!)

I had to post today because I, too, am 5'10" since age 13 or 14 and thought I was "fat" even when I wasn't, as a teenager, thus spiralling myself into a lifetime of disordered eating/weight loss/weight gain/food ISSUES. Lately they are way out of control.

I've been as low as 165 (maybe age 19 or so) and as high as 280 (2 years ago, around my 30th birthday), and everywhere in between. I even saw a therapist and was in a group, and did intuitive eating, and thought I was "fixed" but I was at a high weight and the addiction came back with a vengance in the past year/year and a half. I got married last fall and am tortured that my husband met me as a thin blonde and married me as a fat redhead 4 years later (he is nothing but supportive and wants me to get my head screwed on straight).

Anyhow its very clear that on a chemical level I have a problem with just about every food out there - carb or processed food anyway. I get so pissed because I want to just STOP thinking about food - where's that food-substitute-pill anyway! Seems like eggs, chicken breast, and leafy greens are my "good" days and then it's birthday cake and refrigerator biscuits the other.

My pattern is like a barely functional alcoholic - M-Fri I am "good" and then I stay in my house and binge as much of the weekend as possible. Monday is horrible, to say the least. My husband has to make excuses when I don't show up to things (I'm "tired" or "sick" - both true, on a certain level!) I was working out to compensate (purge?) but then we went on vacation and randomly started smoking again, so the exercising went out the window. Fasting sometimes, usually Mondays.

Anyway today I had a "come to Jesus" moment (as my mother would say) and went looking for a good forum and I also called my dr to talk about food allergies, this problem in general.

So - here I am! Thanks in advance for all your support!

PS OH - also, I am 32, I live in Philadelphia, married 1 year, no kids. That's another thing - one day I might want to have kids and it would be nice to a) be healthy enough to conceive and b)protect them from this roller coaster!

[Sugar Free Franny]

Welcome jrc207,

Well, I truly believe that the first step to getting into recovery of any addiction is to admit that we have an addiction. So, you are for sure in the right forum. There are some other good threads as well, but I seem to gravitate to this one the most knowing that I need this recovery support.

Today I made a conscious decision to have a piece of cake and ice cream after dinner. It actually started very early in the day when I went to Starbucks and had a "multi grain" roll like that was going to be ok. It went in the direction of carb city from there. For lunch I had a whole wheat tortilla with black beans and cheese. For dinner, london broil with a spinach salad and sweet potatoes. I know this food that I am eating sounds healthy, but truly, once I start out with even these carbs I can't seem to control what other carbs, hence the ice cream and cake for dessert. Ugh!! Looks like it is back to induction yet again for me tomorrow.

I did take an hour walk today and that made me feel very good. This is a continual journey. I don't want to gain anymore weight. I want to lose weight and in order to do that I must eat Atkins/low carb and stay away from those foods that trigger my addiction.

Thanks for listening.

[LoraJR72]

Hi, Everyone,

I feel very sick today. Last night I had a binge/purge episode that frightened me completely. I will call my doctor/counselor today but the fact remains I had an episode even when I've tried changing my diet and exercise to NOT have one. I am addicted to flour and sugar. I can say the serenity prayer and hope that with "Wisdom I WILL know the difference."

Thanks for reading.

Lora

[Nana Susie]

Hi everyone, I am so messed up right now. I could sure use some advice. Sad to say that at this moment my "friend" food has taken over my life it seems. Story in a nut shell is this:
1. I have always loved food and eating.
2. I have always been over weight.
3. I lost the 50 pounds I needed on WW back in the 70's. Gained it all back. I tried WW numerous times afterwards and never could make it work again.
4. Eventually I gained up to 305 lbs.
5. I lost 70 lbs. with Atkins. I came to a stand still after a year. I stayed on it another year losing and gaining the same 5-6 pounds over and over.
6. I finally went LF and went to a weight Dr.
7. Lost another 24lbs. which was a grand total counting Atkins of 96 lbs.!
8. Lost control about 2 yrs. ago. I am now less than 20 lbs. from my all time high.
9. I sneak food, hide it along with the trash in places only an addict would think of. I am so hooked on sugar and carbs again.
10. I tried Atkins last year and failed. I tried SB and I have now failed it. Oh and in between I tried WW again. Failed big time.
11. I am so sick of this! Sick of having all these great clothes I can't fit into. Sick of feeling stuffed. Sick of worrying about my health. Sick of having the "high" feeling that I get thinking I have it back together and ready to get with it and then failing when that feeling comes over me that only a true addict understands. Come hell or high water I have to have it.
12. I am thinking of jumping back in and doing Atkins once again. I just have to kick this sugar thing. Does anyone here relate and have any suggestions? I just feel as if I have failed so many times now. Hubby has been so good to eat on all the programs with me. I have him so mixed up with Atkins, SB, and WW that he can't remember what we are doing at the moment! Thanks for letting me rant and spill all this out.

[Sugar Free Franny]

I do understand the feelings behind this addiction. No matter what weight a person is, if they have obsessive thoughts of food and unhealthy eating habits they have some level of addiction. I know that when I was at my thinnest of 115 as a teenager I was experiencing anorexia. That did change for me after I had my kids cause I didn't want to be unhealthy and show them that. However, I still constantly show them that I am "eating low carb" "dieting". They see that, especially my daughter. She focuses on her weight and has a sugar addiction as well. This addiction is behavioral and chemical. When I am in a ketosis state when I have not eaten any bad carbs, my mind tells me I could have some sugar or white flour. Then, once I have it my body craves more. So, the solution is for me to not have it. Getting through those first three days of detox for any addiction is the hardest, but once your on the other side the cravings just stop. I find myself in this constant cycle of bingeing, guilt, detox, relapse. The important thing is that I keep trying. I don't give up on myself. I keep trying. That means that I don't go for too many days of the bingeing. I am in recovery from Food Addiction today. Progress not perfection. I am gentle with myself. I don't want to be in a constant state of suffering. I want to be happy, joyous and free. When I am taking care of my health I feel those feelings. I thank God everyday for teaching me this WOE. We all have the ability to be happy, joyous and free and this WOE is out there for all of us.

Thanks for listening. Keep coming back.

[Smythe]

Hi everyone. We all seem to have the same story. I think the key for me is to "dry out: and then not pick up anything white...sugar, flour, pasta etc. Just as the alcoholic can never just have a sip, I can never just have 1 cookie. It is absurd, but that is my lot in life.
I have been clean for about a week now. My DH has helped me get back on track, into the gym and focused. I don't know how long it will last, but I feel strongly committed. More so than I have in the past year, so that's a good sign.
I run into trouble when I start to feel sorry for myself...why can't I have ________, everyone else can. Well, I can have it also if In want to be fat and unhappy. If I want to be fit and healthy, it's a no go! Kinda stinks, but there are much worse things in life than not being able to chow on Oreos or pasta.
I'm working on it....

[jrc207]

Just want to send my heartfelt sympathy and vote of confidence that you (and we all!) can overcome this.

I also want to add that although the physical cravings subside (and I guess these are the ones that make us feel so desperate) after 3 days or a week, you still need to combat the psychological cravings. And the "why me" syndrome.

I find anything can set me off, but last night I was amazed at this chocolate commercial - I mean, imagine seeing someone erotically shooting themselves up with heroin like it was the most luxurious thing ever. . . Piles of heroin cascading around her. That's how the woman in the ad was with the chocolate/chocolate bar!! Ha!

[LoraJR72]

I find that turning off the tv and going to bed early helps with cravings.

I am allergic to flour and sugar and what works for me is committing myself to healthy eating and habits. I am following a plan that works and will continue to work for the rest of my life. Sure, there are times when I fall off the path but at the next meal I continue on with my journey. I know my body is constantly changing and I need to adjust accordingly.

It will happen for you. It will.