Filling the void without food - July -

[telemetrynurse]

Hi Steady! Thanks for the welcome & the compliments!

One thing that I have learned is that, for me, I will ALWAYS have "food issues". I will never be 'cured' regardless of what I weigh. The word "moderation" is simply not in my vocabulary when it comes to certain foods. I have learned that I do best when I eliminate any food that I think about, fantasize about, crave and have portion control issues with. It makes for a somewhat boring/bland diet at times, but it is SO worth it to me to have freedom from food obsessions. I have really learned to listen to my body. It TELLS me when a food is a trigger. If I ignore this feeling and continue to eat that food, my eating inevitably spirals out of control.

I pray frequently for wisdom in understanding my food issues and the strength to deal with them in a healthy manner.

I've learned SO much from others who suffer with similar issues. I've learned that I am NOT alone in my struggles. I am so grateful for the honest caring people, such as everyone on this thread, that share their struggles and victories over food addictions/obsessions.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend!
Liz

[momov2boys]

Hello and Liz !!!
Thank you for your kind words.

Originally Posted by telemetrynurse

One thing that I have learned is that, for me, I will ALWAYS have "food issues". I will never be 'cured' regardless of what I weigh. The word "moderation" is simply not in my vocabulary when it comes to certain foods. I have learned that I do best when I eliminate any food that I think about, fantasize about, crave and have portion control issues with. It makes for a somewhat boring/bland diet at times, but it is SO worth it to me to have freedom from food obsessions. I have really learned to listen to my body. It TELLS me when a food is a trigger. If I ignore this feeling and continue to eat that food, my eating inevitably spirals out of control.

I've learned SO much from others who suffer with similar issues. I've learned that I am NOT alone in my struggles. I am so grateful for the honest caring people, such as everyone on this thread, that share their struggles and victories over food addictions/obsessions.

I echo all that you have stated above.
And you are certainly right--you are not alone in your struggles.

I am very glad to have all of you to gain knowledge and support from.
My hope is that we all continue to learn and grow through our shared experiences.

[luckiangel]

LIz!! you know i had to look twice at what thread i was in because I thought you were losin' it!!!! I'm goin' what is she talkin' about? She was on here before I got here!! BUT that's me lately!! I'm glad you found us here...it's a wonderful support and these girls are awesome!!

[kviolette]

Originally Posted by telemetrynurse

The word "moderation" is simply not in my vocabulary when it comes to certain foods. I have learned that I do best when I eliminate any food that I think about, fantasize about, crave and have portion control issues with. It makes for a somewhat boring/bland diet at times, but it is SO worth it to me to have freedom from food obsessions. I have really learned to listen to my body. It TELLS me when a food is a trigger. If I ignore this feeling and continue to eat that food, my eating inevitably spirals out of control.

Welcome to the group, Liz, and please, share your wisdom with us. I know this is the path I must follow. What is your strength? What do you do instead of eating those foods? Is prayer your main way?

Rebecca - I wish I had an answer for you on the pb. I just know how you feel on a visceral level.

Steady - journaling is a wonderful thing. Journaling has gotten me through some amazingly tough things. It is good to have you remind me of the power it possesses.

Today starts the second week of school and I feel as though I am catching up on rest and cleaning. The weekend was spent tying up loose ends in the garden - planting those lone rangers, cleaning up pots, making and grouping containers. Even though none was necessary, all felt good.

I was thinking of going out and about today to buy supplies but I think I am better served by finishing off those lone rangers and cleaning the office. I so dread the office. Many things in here that I just don't know what to do with. I guess garbage/recycling for much of it. Once I have a clean space, things like journaling become much more inviting.

I mention this because having things in their place and a place for all things just soothes my spirit, brings some relief from the chaos of life. This control, in turn, spills over into my self care aspects, like food.

So glad to be part of this group. Have a good day, everyone!

[magnamater]

Originally Posted by telemetrynurse

Hi Steady! Thanks for the welcome & the compliments!

One thing that I have learned is that, for me, I will ALWAYS have "food issues". I will never be 'cured' regardless of what I weigh. The word "moderation" is simply not in my vocabulary when it comes to certain foods. I have learned that I do best when I eliminate any food that I think about, fantasize about, crave and have portion control issues with. It makes for a somewhat boring/bland diet at times, but it is SO worth it to me to have freedom from food obsessions. I have really learned to listen to my body. It TELLS me when a food is a trigger. If I ignore this feeling and continue to eat that food, my eating inevitably spirals out of control.

I pray frequently for wisdom in understanding my food issues and the strength to deal with them in a healthy manner.

I've learned SO much from others who suffer with similar issues. I've learned that I am NOT alone in my struggles. I am so grateful for the honest caring people, such as everyone on this thread, that share their struggles and victories over food addictions/obsessions.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend!
Liz

Liz, and thanks for that thoughtful post. I started to say most of us, but I can only speak for myself, I will always have eating issues. I have them more sometimes that others.

I sort of have an "all or nothing" mentality. I can stay perfectly on plan, but when I change some things, then the dam breaks.

Perhaps what you say about trigger foods will help me more with that problem. I need to learn to intro something slowly and in small amounts when I again start maintenence. SLLLLLLOOOOOOOWWWWWLLLLLYYY being a key for me! So I can listen to my body.

I'm still cycling up more carbs/fat/cals for another week and a half. . .I'm having some water retention issues that ebb and flow, but I'm not fretting over that.

[momof3heathens]

Welcome Liz.

The term serves 4 means little to me. For myself I need to keep my food choices very limitted. I am so afraid to try new recipes, etc for fear that I will find another thing to be addicted too. Even the healthiest of choices I binge on. When I discovered the recipe for ugly beans I was eating two and three bagfuls a day. Same with broccoli and sour cream. Salads too. It doesn't matter for me.

Now with that being said, someone had mentioned that I might have an issue with salt. I decided to not use salt for two days which for me meant cutting out crystal lite and not salting my eggs nor using heavily salted seasoning for meat. In those two days I managed to loss 9lbs without having to cut down on the amount of fat or calories I was consuming. I still used artifical sweetener in my caffienated coffee and had some lowcarb chocolate treats but I was able to successfully limit the amount of chicken I would have normally ate if I had seasoned it was a salty marinade as I would have normally.

[momov2boys]

Originally Posted by momof3heathens

Now with that being said, someone had mentioned that I might have an issue with salt. I decided to not use salt for two days which for me meant cutting out crystal lite and not salting my eggs nor using heavily salted seasoning for meat. In those two days I managed to loss 9lbs without having to cut down on the amount of fat or calories I was consuming.

[momov2boys]

After my 1/2 C Smaps this morning, I ate ~1/2 C PB, potato chips and chocolate chip cookies.
YIKES!

I really dislike most things about my WOE, lately.
I am truly struggling with some major food issues.

All I know is that simpler is better and that I must get back to the basics, right now.

*From here on out, I will strive to eat only healthy, LC foods, in moderation.

I will no longer restrict protein or vegetables, at all.
I will eat healthy fats, moderately.
I will eat some dairy.
I will have fruit, on occasion.

These days it seems that any mindset related to restriction seems to lead me to overeat.

I will be kinder to myself and try hard to live more freely.

[magnamater]

Rebecca,

No one said this was easy! Some days it is just so hard.

I have no answers. Just understanding.

Do you have the "all or nothing" mentality. . .when the dam breaks, it is, well, broken? Just wondering. . .I have that problem. Abstinence is easier than moderation (food plan, I'm talking here) for me.

I just am talking here. . .trying to get a handle for myself. Doing a cycle of higher cal/carb/fat in order to "trigger" some more weight loss. . .and facing some demons of wanting to eat. Just ate some protein powder cookies after drinking a shake for lunch. Still not bad calorically or carb wise. . .but I didn't need it.

I think I need to eat my protein in real food--along with a salad. Just me. I'll try that later.

[momov2boys]

Originally Posted by magnamater

Do you have the "all or nothing" mentality. . .when the dam breaks, it is, well, broken?

Yes, unfortunately, I sure do.

That same mentality worked so well for me when I weighed 98 pounds and was "in control."

Now it works against me, as I seem pretty lost, lately.

Thanks for being there, magnamater!

[telemetrynurse]

Hi Everybody!

THANKS so much to everyone for the wonderful welcomes!!!

In my previous post, I forgot to mention something that I was very vividly reminded of last night. My relationship with food is VERY complex. I can do all the **right** things, (eating only healthy non-trigger foods in moderation, exercise, etc.) but can still fall off the wagon with a loud thud.

My emotions/stress/boredom etc. also can play a huge part in my disordered eating. I am getting better at dealing with those feelings, but sometimes, like last night, I still turn to food. I may always do this, because I will NEVER be perfect. Time, reading & learning, prayer and lots of introspection will hopefully help me lessen the number of times that I binge and lessen the severity of those binges. Progress, not perfection is what I seek.

I now go weeks or even months without a binge. Previously, I would have a tough time making it thru one DAY without a binge. Also, the duration of my binges and the amount of food that I eat has greatly decreased. I felt so hopeless for so long. Now, I know that there is hope
For anyone who is suffering, please KNOW that you CAN get better.........

The most important change, for me, has been my willingness to forgive myself and climb right back on the wagon. I believe that it is God that gives me this ability because I could NEVER have made this progress alone.

Yesterday, I fell off the wagon. Today, I am back on with a double seat belt strapped around me!

[telemetrynurse]

Rebecca~ Thanks so much for sharing. I LOVE the things that you wrote......

All I know is that simpler is better and that I must get back to the basics, right now.

*From here on out, I will strive to eat only healthy, LC foods, in moderation.

I will no longer restrict protein or vegetables, at all.
I will eat healthy fats, moderately.
I will eat some dairy.
I will have fruit, on occasion.

These days it seems that any mindset related to restriction seems to lead me to overeat.

I will be kinder to myself and try hard to live more freely.

It sounds like an excellent plan!!! You can do this!!!!

magnamater~

Do you have the "all or nothing" mentality. . .when the dam breaks, it is, well, broken? Just wondering. .

YES, me too!!! I think that many, many people with food addictions/ED/COE have this same problem. It is so much easier to just not take that first bite.....but what do you do once you have started a binge?!?! If anyone has any suggestions or solutions that work for them...please share. I have a few tricks that SOMETIMES help me stop. I go put whitening strips on my teeth, then I can't eat for at least 30 minutes. Plus it puts a yucky taste in my mouth.

momof3heatens~

For myself I need to keep my food choices very limitted. I am so afraid to try new recipes, etc for fear that I will find another thing to be addicted too. Even the healthiest of choices I binge on. When I discovered the recipe for ugly beans I was eating two and three bagfuls a day. Same with broccoli and sour cream. Salads too. It doesn't matter for me.

Wow, great post! I can totally relate to that.... I've binged on HEALTHY foods like grapefruit, raw spinach etc.
Congrats on your insight into your salt issues and on the 9lb loss...you must feel great!

kviolette~ thanks for the welcome!!

What is your strength? What do you do instead of eating those foods? Is prayer your main way?

Prayer is a huge part of it for me. Also, sharing and learning from others who suffer, like you and the lovely ladies here, is a huge help. I also try to read and educate myself about eating disorders/food addictions, etc. Totally eliminating refined sugars, flour, processed carbs etc. and keeping my diet simple has really helped.

I LOVE what you wrote...

mention this because having things in their place and a place for all things just soothes my spirit, brings some relief from the chaos of life. This control, in turn, spills over into my self care aspects, like food.

That is SOOOOO true, thanks for reminding me!!!

Lucki~ Hey there! Thanks for the welcome!!!

I hope everyone has a happy, healthy day!!!
Liz

[steady]

Telemetry:
I can totally relate to types of binges, food and emotional ones. I hope this board didn't trigger your binge. I know sometimes talking about it triggers an emotional binge, especially since we've been gushing all about your impressive progress.

I also fell off the wagon yesterday...after 19 binge-free days. It was an emotional binge. My DH and I had a minor tiff yesterday which was probably triggered by PMS. I strongly feel in my case, the combo of moodiness and food cravings from PMS is just too much for me to handle, so I binge.

I am back on the wagon too... I hope to go 20 days binge free. You definitely put it in prospective for me. I couldn't go one day without a binge but I went 19 days...that's progress right? We can do this. I love your strong attitude.

magnamater:
I also have the "all or nothing" mentality...I can pretty much abstain from my food triggers, but if I binge because of emotional reasons, I tend to eat my food triggers (AS, soft cheese, and nuts); it must be some form of self-sabotage. Then it is twice as hard for me to get back on track, because I have to resolve both the food and the emotional triggers. That is where I am today.

Rebecca:
I feel your struggle, but admire your attitude. We can do this...reread your plan and stick to it!!!

Momof3heathens:
I too eat way too much salt...I guess it was to compensate for giving up sugar and ALL sugar substitutes as they are triggers. I love to cook, but I am also too afraid to try a new recipe for fear of be addicted to it too. I've been trying to climb that carb ladder in Atkins, but I can't seem to get past "Go". I've hit too many food triggers. When I binge...it tends to be on relatively healthy stuff live veggies and nuts. Weird I know. It seems the salt reduction has worked for you...nice job...go with it. I won't be reducing my intake anytime soon, I think the bloat is keeping me above 90 LBs! (LOL)

Kviolette:
To prevent my bordom binges, I've been keeping a "to-do" list which really consists of little tasks that just relieve the chaos of life (another trigger). For me, sometimes this orderlyness ends up triggering OC food binges. Go figure.

[magnamater]

steady, you said a couple of things that ring true for me.

I also "binge" (hate the word, but it is what it is) on healthy foods, nuts being one of the biggest culprits. Okay, PNB too! I stay within the realm of LC most of the time. . .only really ventured out of LC this spring for a couple of weeks. . .and only minor then, and I have to say, I hope to never eat sugar again. Flour either. Just not worth it. For me. Health, for me.

I think what you say about orderliness is true for me too. I like the "to do" list idea.

My savior is almost a OCD thing these days--a little timer. I time my exercise, then time my household chores, then time my "work for my job,
hard reading" and never bite off very much of a task. I'm never overwhelmed.

I get a lot done with the timer. . .it's somewhat of a teaching tool I've used in the past, somewhat of a leftover from Flylady.

[momov2boys]

Originally Posted by steady

I am back on the wagon too... I hope to go 20 days binge free. You definitely put it in prospective for me. I couldn't go one day without a binge but I went 19 days...that's progress right? We can do this. I love your strong attitude.

I, too, hope to go 20 days, binge free.
Yes Steady, we can do it !!!

Thanks for all of the support here.
I sure appreciate it !!!

[telemetrynurse]

Steady~
I really enjoyed your post, thanks!

I hope this board didn't trigger your binge. I know sometimes talking about it triggers an emotional binge, especially since we've been gushing all about your impressive progress.

NOOO way! You ladies are the greatest! I really appreciate all of your support!

I strongly feel in my case, the combo of moodiness and food cravings from PMS is just too much for me to handle, so I binge.

Wow, I can REALLY relate to that! I'm on fertility meds and the hormones, I believe, and the emotional stress that goes with the whole fertility thing, contributed greatly to my binge. I've also suffered with PMS-triggered binges many,many times.

I couldn't go one day without a binge but I went 19 days...that's progress right? We can do this. I love your strong attitude.

AWESOME progress!!!!!

magnamater~

My savior is almost a OCD thing these days--a little timer. I time my exercise, then time my household chores, then time my "work for my job,
hard reading" and never bite off very much of a task. I'm never overwhelmed

What a great tip! I may have to try this! Thanks for sharing!

Rebecca~You have such a great attitude! Yes, we CAN do this!!!

[steady]

Good Morning-
I just wanted to check in…nothing to report. My mood is better so my eating is under control as I start Day 2.

Hope you are all doing well.
Have a great day!!! It’s a soaker here today.

[momov2boys]

Originally Posted by steady

Good Morning-
I just wanted to check in…nothing to report. My mood is better so my eating is under control as I start Day 2.

I'll check in, too!

I echo your feelings, Steady.
I'm also so much better now that I'm back in control as I start day 2!

Happy Wednesday everyone !!!

[luckiangel]

i had a binge moment yesterday with bbq boneless chicken.....breaded of course.....stopped short and drank some water. I let myself get hungry while doing some shopping. Got on the scale this morning and it was swaying between 225 and 220. Feels like I am pushing through somethin'!!! Keep your fingers crossed that I can push thru till 215....(50lb mark). Feel better this morning and gonna walk the straight and narrow! Hope everyone is doing well this morning! Have a wonderful day!!!

[magnamater]

Let's keep on keeping on!

Congrats on the 2 days, Rebecca and steady.

I won't be checking in for a week+ starting Friday as I do a triangle to Detroit, Boston, and back to Houston. All fun.

Detroit--pizza and "sliders" are my DH cravings. . .so I'll eat the topping and a salad.

Boston, 3 banquets, but always with at least 3 choices. Not a problem. Maybe the wine, should I or shouldn't I. I don't have a problem with stopping, but I wonder if it lowers inhibitions. . .or can I afford the carbs?

Have a good one!

[momov2boys]

@#$%

I guess tomorrow will be another day # 1 for me.
After my salmon and romaine for lunch, I ate PB and M&Ms.

luckiangel, it's good you stopped yourself yesterday. WTG!

magnamater, travel safely!

[shrl]

Hi I really a hard time with overeating and I know its Just boredom. I need to focus on other things instead of food all the time. I have type 2 diabetes also and need to stay low carb. I am really going to try. My blood sugar stays in the normal range when I don't cheat.
shrl