Filling the Void with Food - June

[brilliant100]

I considering trying the coconut oil in a few weeks once I lose about 8 more pounds. People say it helps with cravings and I am always battling this. Right now some supplements are helping but I know this will change once my body adjusts, it always does.

Thoughts?

[Bobbin]

I've been tempted to try the CO too. It seems odd, but the people who've written about it in the main lobby area seem to swear by it...I almost got some when I was at the health food store this weekend. I think I need to get my hynie back into ketosis, first. That will help alot!!

Have you thought about just packing the little one up in a stroller and taking a walk together as a family after dinner every night? That might help you and DH get into the habit of exercise.....

[brilliant100]

Bobbin - that made my heart melt. You binged because of sadness for someone else's loss and you really wanted to hug your son.

For some dumb reason, I hate to cry and instead of doing so will eat. I feel so much shame when crying regardless of the reason like its a weakness.

I may need to go into a closet, shower or for a drive and just cry when the urge comes verses suppressing it. Or like you said, just go get the hug we want.

[brilliant100]

Originally Posted by Bobbin

I've been tempted to try the CO too. It seems odd, but the people who've written about it in the main lobby area seem to swear by it...I almost got some when I was at the health food store this weekend. I think I need to get my hynie back into ketosis, first. That will help alot!!

Have you thought about just packing the little one up in a stroller and taking a walk together as a family after dinner every night? That might help you and DH get into the habit of exercise.....

GREAT idea!!! he could walk our dogs (Akitas) and I would push the baby. Duh...............i will see what he thinks.

[brilliant100]

Bobbin - Out of curiousity I checked out the cals for the oil on fitday. 1 tbs is 117 cals (wowsaha). Not sure how much one takes. Gotta to some more research.

[steady]

Originally Posted by PhotoMama

So I started a food and feelings journal. I'm going to try to track my eating along with how I feel before and during my eating. I'm hoping this will give me some insight to the "why" of it all.

I am glad you want to know "why"...that is what I am searching for too. Posting to each other is support, but journaling is the treatment. Please share any trends you see...I think it will help us all.

I just started journal too. It is mostly mindless rant, but eventually I write down the root feeling. Its already helped me immensely, I figured yesterday's derailment was probably because I am rehashing the events with MIL over the weekend in my head. Even though I did well over the weekend, I ended up processing the get emotions yesterday. Not to mention, my own mother is on my back...before I was pushing the edge of fatness at 110 and now I am too skinny. It bothers me a bit...I will never be "just right". We have a good and harshly honest relationship, but I can't change her feelings but I can change my perception.

My journal is over at www.lowcarb.ca. I should really move it over here.
Steady is my member name over there too. But most of what I say there I say in some form in this thread (I promise I will shorten it up, here).

[PhotoMama]

Originally Posted by Bobbin

Photomama, I'm so proud of you for staying strong! You're really doing well. I think having a workout that you enjoy is great makes you want to do good with food, too. What movie did you see? I took my son to see Nancy Drew this weekend, he really enjoyed it. He was a little nervous that it's a "girl movie" but there were other boys in the audience too, lol. He tried to make it seem he was going for my sake, but I know he wanted to see it just as much as me.

Thank you. Yes, having a workout that I like is really helping me. I don't want to waste the money on the class which is exactly what I'd be doing if I started eating off plan. That and I only have one month to get in shape. Not that I have anything to prove to my mother (she's always been very supportive) but I'd like to look good for her ... not to look like I haven't done anything to take ware of myself in the past year since I've seen her. KWIM?

We went to see Shrek the Third. We didn't get to see it though The bulb blew out about 10 minutes into the movie. They couldn't fix it so we got free tickets to come back another time.

[steady]

Originally Posted by brilliant100

Eating alone is one of my ways to really numb down while eating. ...

Yesterday was a good minimal craving day and I think it was due to taking the following:

Before breakfast: L-carnitine 1000 mg, L-glutimine 1500 mg
L: Chromium Picolinate 1000 mg
Snack: Chromium Picolinate 1000 mg

Eating alone is my way of numbing feeling too.

I was thinking of trying the L-glutimine because sometimes th ecarvings are just so intense. BUT I hesitate because I don't want supplements to be apart of my long-term WOL; that is why I am trying journaling/threads as a form of treatment. Let me know if you really feel it is worth adding atleast temporarily.

[PhotoMama]

I actually have two blogs I've started. One is for keeping track of my workouts ... stats. You can view it here (not much there yet ... just started today): http://wip-me.blogspot.com/

The other one is to keep track of my eating and emotions. You can view it here: http://lowcarb-me.blogspot.com/

[saundra41]

Whats up!
Steady- I never thought about the anxiousness and you are right on with that one because I do remember feeling it. Nobody was helping me with any ideas or the guestlist or any of it and I did feel overwhelmed I remember thinking I will be glad when it is over with. And as i think back that is a whacked out way to think of something that is a good thing. My son was so happy about the party and so glad to see everyone. We had relatives come from Indy and we had a good time. Everything turned out good. I kept reminding myself not to give myself a hard time just relax and act natural and try to be as present for people as I could be. I think the journaling is a good idea because had I been journaling the last week maybe my eating would have been different
Photmama-Graduation party went well and I really believe that my guests had a good time. I rented some great movies and had them playing and most of the women was watching them and we just laughed. I am a huge fan of the character MaDea in "Diary of a mad black woman "and "family reunion" it will make you laugh! I am feeling pretty good today and my eating has been on plan today thank God! Girlfriend let me tell you give yourself a huge hug for me you did wonderful at the show. My daughter took me to the show last night and I went to sit down and could barely fit into the seat. I was so embarrassed the whole movie I was uncomfortable. I told my daughter that I was fine but deep down I wasnt. I felt ashamed of myself, how could I let myself become this way it hurt me to my heart.
Bobbin- Yes I did enjoy myself and tried not to really analyze every little thing you know. When I read about you eating the skin i wasnt thinking gross it happened let it go it could have been alot worse.
brilliant-thanks for the hug i needed it and you are right it is hard to come back after binging for days but I am not gonna give up. Tomorrow I start my water aerobics class, doctor signed permission for me to go to the gym under a theraputic membership. It is one of those really nice ones they have a jacuzzi and a steamroom in the ladies lockeroom, cool beans huh!

[Bobbin]

Saundra, I'm glad you had a good time at the party, and your son was happy with it. I have seen those Tyler Perry movies, have you heard about his past? He was homeless, broke on the street, abused as a young child, but a very talented writer, and worked his way up to where he is now. He wrote to release his painful past. I saw him on Oprah a few years ago, what a good looking guy, too. His Madea character is one of the best I've seen, although I love her husband in those movies, too.

OK, guess what?!?! I made it through one whole day back on program, I even did a full body weight workout and rode my bike on a tough course for an hour. I do feel good! I'm going to bed now, before I wreck it, lol. Good night!

[brilliant100]

Originally Posted by steady

Eating alone is my way of numbing feeling too.

I was thinking of trying the L-glutimine because sometimes th ecarvings are just so intense. BUT I hesitate because I don't want supplements to be apart of my long-term WOL; that is why I am trying journaling/threads as a form of treatment. Let me know if you really feel it is worth adding atleast temporarily.

I totally respect eating natural foods. Personally, supplements help me during weightloss. Many of my cravings for food must be due to vit imbalnaces becasue once I add the right one, cravings disappear.

Ive been having random cravings since getting into deep ketosis about two weeks ago but this week when I added the chromium.........poof NO More Cravings at all. Now I get hungry........eat and forget about food for a few hours. What a relief.

Sad thing is Im afraid of the hungry feeling...............scared I will go on a binge if I get to hungry even while in ketosis.

[brilliant100]

saundra - Ive felt that same feeling of sitting a seat that was too small. The worse part is having belly and arms hang over the sides of the chair and your taking up room for the people on either side of you. It SUCKs the big one.

However, whenever I feel hopeless and ashamed I try to remember that if I eat right for a few days the situation gets better. The longer I eat right the better I feel.

Have you considered trying to get into ketosis? Not sure what eating plan you are following and if this is even an option. Ketosis is not fool proof and I have still binged when in it but it helps control hunger and some cravings.

[brilliant100]

well the scale is moving down this week................ive been skipping dinner as Im not all that hungry and this always helps me lose. The bad thing is in the past when I skipped meals I started to feel deprived and would go on a binge after about 5 days. This time, i tell myself that if i get hungry during the evenings, I can eat some egg whites. Maybe this will help this time.


Photomama's excitement about working out has encouraged me to start doing something. Two days this week I did easy workouts for 20 minutes and feel proud of myself Im going to really try not to put pressure on myself to be 'perfect' about the workouts. Any movement is better than none..........right?

Im also shifting my priorities from house cleaning like a mad woman to working out then cleaning. I gotta take care of myself first.

We shall see if this works...........................

[PhotoMama]

Originally Posted by brilliant100

Photomama's excitement about working out has encouraged me to start doing something. Two days this week I did easy workouts for 20 minutes and feel proud of myself Im going to really try not to put pressure on myself to be 'perfect' about the workouts. Any movement is better than none..........right?

WTG Brilliant! Honestly, what you just said make me even more motivated to do great. I'm not saying you look up to me or anything but ... I hate when I find something or someone that motivates me and it/they end up being a disappointment. KWIM? I'd hate to do something to mess this up and let myself and others down. We can be encouragement for each other.

Originally Posted by Bobbin

OK, guess what?!?! I made it through one whole day back on program, I even did a full body weight workout and rode my bike on a tough course for an hour. I do feel good! I'm going to bed now, before I wreck it, lol. Good night!

Woo-Hoo Bobbin! Your workout sounds way more intense than mine. I'll get to that point someday. Right now I'm still working on those darn jumping jacks ... btw, it's 125 of them, not 100 like I thought. I did 75 of them last night ... I thought I was going to DIE!

Saundra ~ I'm glad your party went well. Now ... get back on this here wagon with us Missy!

As for me ... eating's been good. Scale's been real good (140.6 this morning). My problem now .. hubby. He hasn't been very strict with LC. He got on the scale Monday morning and weighed more than he did when he started. He's been depressed ever since. I feel guilty talking about my workouts or weight lose. When he asked me about class last night, I said "It was okay. I'll probably be in a little pain tomorrow but ... it was okay." when I really wanted to say "I did over half the jumping jacks this time! I can't wait 'til Thursday!" on him.

[saundra41]

Bobbin- whats up girlfriend good for you I did the exact same thing I made it through yesterday too oh how I wanted to go to dari queen! Yeah Tyler Perry is great and the guy who you think is her husband is her brother Joe who is also played my Tyler Perry. He is so funny he also has a show that is coming on tonight called House of Payne I have not watched it yet but I intend to it comes on 8 or 9pm my time. Congrats on yesterday hugs to you and we will make it through today step by step
Brilliant-I kept thinking about how I felt at the movies and how the side of the seats were hurting my outer thighs and I did not cheat. OMG how I wanted to but I did not thank God! And guess what I started water aerobics today it was a hour class oh boy did I get a work out and I am tired but it is a good tired though. Hey do you think I need to add chromin to if so how much?
Photomama- Im back baby! I feel good about yesterday and have asked God to help me today. To bad about DH that can be a downside to doing with a spouse or boyfriend when one person jumps ship or is not doing well it always somehow affects the other person. You keep being a good example for him he will come around. Congrats on your weight loss, you go girl!!!!

[PhotoMama]

I'd just like to say ... really, I enjoy saying this ... my booty hurts! For once I feel like I was doing the exercises right. I'm hoping to take some of the sag out of my hind end and with the slight pain of the tight muscles ... I think I might not be disappointed.

As for hubby ... lunch went much better. I drove 10 miles to get some salad dressing from The Olive Garden. Then I got all the fixings to actually make one ... just like them.

Dinner ... more salad but this time we added some left over pork chops. Since it was DH's idea, he couldn't complain.

I'm hoping DH will see a smaller number when he steps on the scale tomorrow morning. I think he could use a boost ... and quite frankly, I could use him getting a boost.

[steady]

PhotoMama- You make me so proud. You say the scale is being good to you, but really you are being good to yourself. WTG!

I am having a couple of rough days. I start off strong but as soon as I get up the brain starts turning and eventually I am thinking, worrying, replaying scenarios...I then get anxious and feel overwhelmed and then binge. I binged as a rehash old thoughts, wonder how I am going to clean this messy apartment, worry about what my family will say when they see me this weekend.

I think all this journalling is making me feel too much, especially over little things. I hope this journal thing is just a temporary source of the binges as my emotions sort of catch up with my feelings. Generally I play cool during the scenario. Later, I start to have feeling about the scenario as I rehash it in my head, and then later the emotions take form (right now in binges). Does that make any sense? Hopefully I will show emotions that match my feelings DURING the scenario.

But this journalling thing feels better. Again I've been writing post-binge rather that prior to a binge. If I can just get myself to take a moment to write I may just be able to prevent the binge.

Here is hoping for tomorrow.

[steady]

Originally Posted by brilliant100

well the scale is moving down this week...

Congrats!!!

[moonbeam_2]

Originally Posted by steady

PhotoMama- You make me so proud. You say the scale is being good to you, but really you are being good to yourself. WTG!

I am having a couple of rough days. I start off strong but as soon as I get up the brain starts turning and eventually I am thinking, worrying, replaying scenarios...I then get anxious and feel overwhelmed and then binge. I binged as a rehash old thoughts, wonder how I am going to clean this messy apartment, worry about what my family will say when they see me this weekend.

I think all this journalling is making me feel too much, especially over little things. I hope this journal thing is just a temporary source of the binges as my emotions sort of catch up with my feelings. Generally I play cool during the scenario. Later, I start to have feeling about the scenario as I rehash it in my head, and then later the emotions take form (right now in binges). Does that make any sense? Hopefully I will show emotions that match my feelings DURING the scenario.

But this journalling thing feels better. Again I've been writing post-binge rather that prior to a binge. If I can just get myself to take a moment to write I may just be able to prevent the binge.

Here is hoping for tomorrow.

[Bobbin]

Steady, I was trying to say something similar the other day. Any time I actually EXAMINE why I binge, or how I feel about bingeing, it makes me want to binge. In the past, even being a part of a group like this that makes me think about it, makes me binge. Reading books that are supposed to help you get a picture of how to heal yourself make me want to binge. I do get what you're saying, it's just wierd. It's always made me reluctant to actually face my problems with food, I feel like I may never be thin if I keep harping on "the binge, why, what, when" but then it happens even when I berry my head in the sand.

We're here for you!!!

[Bobbin]

Well, I made it through day 2, wahoo! I had a touch of induction flu yesterday, so I did a strip when I got home and ketosis is coming, ever so faintly. That makes me happy. That's my one good thing, I can always get into ketosis fairly quickly. By the end of today I'll be full blown pink, tomorrow it will be "mid deep". I can already feel my strength returning. I've been brave enough to get on the scale, as well. I'm up 4 lbs from my week long binge. YUK!

Well, I promised DS I'd get him up early and make bacon n' eggs for him and we'd work on our puzzle a little before work/day camp, so I better get off the computer. I'll check in with everyone later. Good luck today!! Today is our fresh start! Wow, a better attitude already, lol.

[PhotoMama]

to everyone!

Things have been good still. I'm excited about tonight's class ... booty still hurts. I'm not sure of the numbers on the scale ... DH was in the shower, both of us were running late and breakfast HAD to be made. I stepped on after breakfast ... knowing that I probably shouldn't because ... well, I just ate. Even thought I know the numbers aren't valid, it still depressed me. I'm going to try to busy myself this morning until I can get completely over this. I'm thinking I may need to leave the house.

(several minutes later)
I took a break to go post my feelings in my blog. I also took a moment to go back and read some of it ... see if there's something in there. I'm an angry woman. I'm irritated ... a lot. I know I need to find time EVERYDAY to myself but the part of my that wants to take care of everyone else first gets in my way.