Alcohol Problems

[peanutte]

I read your link throroughly and will try to get my hands on a copy of Potatoes Not Prozac. I appreciate all the information, seejay. You're very knowledgable. Hey, I know. I'll read your book and you can read mine!

[seejay]

LOL perfect, it's a deal Peanutte. As soon as I figure out what I want to say.

My mom and I were voracious readers and used to give each other book recommendations all the time. One time she said, You could write, why don't you write one? There are so many authors and styles I bet you could get something accepted.

But then I said - you know they say Herman Melville wrote "Moby Dick" so he could read it. I don't have anything I want to say. I do like reading others' tho.

My mom goes, oh. well you do need that, LOL

[peanutte]

Oh, phooey. You have plenty to say.

I want to clarify that I don't subscribe to every single little idea in the harm reduction plan--but the beauty of it is, it's designed so that anybody can tailor the principals for his or her own needs.

Where's everybody else? Hey, listen, whether you're sober, trying to quit, trying to reduce or not even ready to think about changing yet, I want to hear from you. This thread is not a contest and I personally don't judge anyone no matter where you're at!

[2big4britjez]

Been a little self-absorbed in my LC lately and sort of neglected the sobering aspect of my new year's resolution until now...

Attended my 2nd substance abuse counseling session earlier today, which is going great! But the reason I popped in tonight is to say I also attended my first AA meeting a couple hours ago. It was a bit scary for me, walking in, and a little emotional at times for me as well, but I got through it okay. Thanks to a table of 7 supportive women!

Having read all the posts since my last one, I can relate to your "hard core" observations of some of the AA members. One by one, they went around the table telling me their story. OMG. DUIs, accidents, jails, black-outs, liver problems, family issues....the list goes on and on.

My situation is certainly nowhere near that, but does include borderline prediabetic and high liver enzymes from too much wine. I just wanted to say hello again, I'll be checking in daily now, and if nothing else from AA interests you, how 'bout this...

ONE DAY AT A TIME


Val

[CurveControl]

.

[peanutte]

Keep moving forward, Val!

[rett]

Hi All
I have been in recovery for 21 yrs and I am so happy to be sober. My next
journey from addiction is sugar. No one can tell you if you are alcoholic but you, I know I am...one is too many for me...I never could stop once I picked it up. It is a disease and it is progressive. I am finding out how addicted to sugar now that I am on this woe, I love the low carb but the sugar addiction
is really kicking my butt. You know I have justified things all my life...for those of you that have started dangerous habits....like drinking to relax might
think of drinking some tea or walking or playing games with the kids or anything that won't hurt you. My family line has a long list of drunks and
today, I know the years I wasted drinking and there is so much more to
life. If you don't have a problem ....find another way to enjoy yourself...
the disease of alcoholism took so much away from me and my family and
the world of recovery has given me so much more than not drinking one day
at a time. I can't stay sober but WE can, I feel the same way about this
woe. I am going to have to surrender to this damn sugar addiction because
it is as bad as my drinking was. I do good for a while and then I eat sugar
and the guilt and disappointment is just not worth it. I am an addict to any
thing that makes me feel good....so I guess I need to turn this sugar demon
over....I can't do it....I keep failing! I would rather eat sugar than eat food
so I guess that's the first step. I will live my 12 step program with sugar just
like I do with drinking. I know it works because I have not had a drink since
Oct 1985. I don't know that I loved drinking but I liked what it did for me
Sugar I love but I sure do not like what it does for me. A quick fix and it
is gone leaving weight and bloat and feeling bad.
I believe God just put this post up so we could talk about it....thanks all.
I wish you all peace and WE can do this.
Rett

[seejay]

Hey Rett,

You can go beyond "not using" into healing a body that's been addicted to alcohol or sugar too.
Check out radiantrecovery.com.

It's 12-step friendly but it goes beyond abstinence into healing the biochemistry that leads to addiction in the first place.
Once the biochemistry is healed, most of us feel better than ever again in our lives, and the good habits you learn, make "abstinence" much more pleasant. No more cravings and withdrawals for example, not even from food.

Good luck!

[CurveControl]

WOW. Sobriety is way easy when even water comes right back up. UGH.
I know I should use this as a springboard to my 30 day sobriety, but will I? I just don't know. On the plus side, even if I could drink, there is nothing in the house TO drink, and I am tii worn out just from a shower to even go out!
Maybe a week under my belt will help break they cycle, Though I could wish for a better 'alternate activity'!!

[peanutte]

How are you doing, Val? Check in! You may not realize how much you inspire me.

[Bluebell]

I'm not an alcoholic (never was), but I'm definitely a Friend of Bill. When I first met my (alcoholic) dad I was almost 25 years old and he had been sober for 3 years. Everything went fine for a few months and then boom, he started drinking again. We had a horrible run in and I've never talked to him (or his side of the family) since -- and I never will again.

I blamed myself for a while after everything blew up. I figured "well, I wasn't worth getting sober for when I was a baby and I must not be worth it now."

One night I started skimming the AA Big Book and wow -- it's like it was written for me. Bill W. helped me to see that my dad's problem was going on before I ever got here and has nothing to do with me.

Whether we're addicted to alcohol, or crack, or sugar -- we're all the same. We just have different poisons, is all.

[peanutte]

Hi, Bluebell!

[rhundt67]

Was reading through this tread - it's been busy since I first posted in July - and haven't since and I haven't progressed either. In fact, my drinking (beer) has increased.

In August I began having some medical problems, which was finally diagnosed in January. My husband became very ill at one point too and stress skyrocketed.

I think it's a gift that I'm sitting here and reading this at this time. I'm at work - considered calling in, but I MADE myself pull it together and get my hungover butt into work. I could always do some drinking (one night or two out of week and weekends, not everyday) and function and feel fine. NOT today. I've crossed the line and I have to stop. I create more issues and more stress due to the drinking and I have to wake up about it now.

Congrats to those who have made progress!

[peanutte]

Drink a lot of water and get yourself healthy, rhundt67.

We all have our individual light-bulb moments.

[lisayak]

Hi All - how's things?

Separation & divorce is proceeding. He's already got printouts of what I've posted previously and my solicitor says it won't make a difference to settlement/custody, so I might as well post. I've been lurking, but it's nice to check in. Things have quieted down here lately - hope everyone's ok.

I'm continuing to progress with my stepwork for AA. I'm going over my Step 3 work this week with my sponsor and looking forward to getting a grip on Step 4 - I'm looking forward to really getting to know what I'm dealing with here! I've been told by a good AA friend that only good comes from step work and I'm finding that to be true. It may be painful (and often is), but if I'm to heal I have to learn to live honestly and openly. Step work helps me look at myself and let go of shame, guilt and fear.

Overall, I can't complain. I'm not even that worried about living on my own (and all the responsibility that entails). By working the program to the best of my ability on a daily basis, I now know I'm capable of far, far more than I ever thought I was. The confidence, self respect and self esteem I've earned over the last 21 months has been tremendous.

So that's sobriety for me these days. It is the most valuable gift I've ever had - and I gave it to myself!

Lots of love all-

Lisa

[CurveControl]

Lisa- I am glad things are working well for you!
I admire your courage, and good attitude with all that is going on!
KUTGW!

[lisayak]

Thanks CC, how you feeling? Over your stomach bug?

The one and only time I ever had a stomach bug I was absolutely gutted to find that once the vomiting phase was over (approx 24 hours) I was as hungry as ever despite diarrhea & cramps...I lost not one pound!!!

Devastating!

[2big4britjez]

Originally Posted by peanutte

How are you doing, Val? Check in! You may not realize how much you inspire me.

Aww, that's sweet. My email doesn't tell me when posts are updated for this thread! Grrrrr!

I'm doing great! 40 days sobriety! Saying it like that, it doesn't sound that long, but for me, it's good! I was drinking every day....one of those BIG wine bottles...every day. Soon, the bottle would be empty and I'd crack open another one. (Yeah, DH was buying wine by the case!) He was your classic enabler.

How are you doing? My 10 year old daughter loves your avatar! It's so pretty! She wants her room painted like that! (Must've been what God was thinking when He created that!)

[2big4britjez]

There are four wine bottles laying on their sides on my baker's rack/wine rack, waiting for guests to wipe off its dust. Normally they would be 'calling my name' but anymore, to me, they are symbols of skull 'n bones waiting to poison me. They are no longer my friends. I sit at our dinette table with them off to one side. Just a month and a half ago, I remember peering over counting my inventory; panicking if the rack was empty. Like a baby who panics when its pacifier has fallen out of reach.

Yesterday I got test results from blood work I had redone from 1 month ago. My sugar level is back to normal and my liver is also back to normal! There isn't an icon that represents the relief I feel, knowing I got my health back, Just In Time.

Today is a New Day. Today I will drink my water and then maybe a Crystal Light and then maybe treat myself and have a glass of Diet Rite once all my water is done. Am I ever tempted to have just one glass of wine? Nope.

It would be the death of me.

[CurveControl]

Originally Posted by lisayak

Thanks CC, how you feeling? Over your stomach bug?

The one and only time I ever had a stomach bug I was absolutely gutted to find that once the vomiting phase was over (approx 24 hours) I was as hungry as ever despite diarrhea & cramps...I lost not one pound!!!

Devastating!

I am better, Thanks!
I lost NO weight, but my stomach is smaller~ I fill up quicker!

[lisayak]

Originally Posted by 2big4britjez

40 days sobriety! Saying it like that, it doesn't sound that long, but for me, it's good!

Forty days rules! Congratulations!!!!!!

And thank god your results have come back normal. Liver damage, for women, is more often permanent than not

Well done and KUTGW!

[lisayak]

Originally Posted by CurveControl

I am better, Thanks!
I lost NO weight, but my stomach is smaller~ I fill up quicker!

Ah well, at least a small benefit!!

[rett]

Val
Congrats on 40 days that is wonderful. I am thankful everyday for my recovery. I was sober 21 yrs this last year, I cannot tell you all the miricles that have happened in my life since I put a cork in the bottle. I have received so much education on the disease plus so much more. Working with other people like us has been a God send, you see the disease walk and you see recovery walk in front of you. Working with others has taught me so much about me and my disease. I can always see someone elses disease but mine hides sometimes....so my higher power who I call God always lets me hear about myself from other people. I welcome you to the program and
WE can do this.
I am battling the sugar right now, I have not worked my steps yet and I know that will work. I did it with drinking and smoking and now I need to turn it over with the sugar demon. I hate when I eat surgar and I am scared to give it up....I know God will help....I just have to be ready.
I just wanted to welcome you....Bill W has millions of friends ...no matter where you go...what a comfort.
Rett

[seejay]

wahoo on the forty days!!! wonderful.

[peanutte]

Val, I am thrilled for you and your story gives me so much hope. I drink like you did. The Big Bottle and maybe even some more, ugh. I'm sick of it. Can you tell me what it's like at your meetings? I am considering going to meetings because hey, they are free and widely accessible, but I had such a negative experience last itme I did AA. I don't want people pressuring me to do the steps and drink the koolaid. I just want to be in a supportive envirnment where other people's experiences can help me. They say the only requirement is the desire to stop drinking, but then you're supposed to get a sponsor and work the steps...just, if you wouldn't mind, share a little bit about what it's been like for you in AA?

[lisayak]

Originally Posted by peanutte

They say the only requirement is the desire to stop drinking, but then you're supposed to get a sponsor and work the steps...just, if you wouldn't mind, share a little bit about what it's been like for you in AA?

I know this wasn't addressed to me, but I want to jump in. In my experience, people who pressure others to get a sponsor and work the steps are often those who like to fix others to avoid looking at themselves.

I didn't get a sponsor until I was good and ready...over 17 months into my sobriety. It would have been pointless before; I had to become willing to be honest and emotionally vulnerable to another human being - why bother otherwise?

Also - and this was huge for me - it took time for me to begin to understand what I was looking for in a sponsor. I had to begin to develop a sense of self to figure out what was going to be appropriate for me.

There are a lot of sick people in the rooms of AA, and I believe that we need to be careful about who and when we share intimate details with. Personally, I would follow my gut instinct and not do anything in AA until I felt it was right, no matter what anyone else says. Listen with an open mind, but no one can force you to do anything.

Most importantly, the people I trust, respect and listen to today are not the people who bombarded me with offers of help in the early days. The people who are striving for emotional recovery know from experience two things: first, not to waste time and effort on people who don't want to do the work of recovery; and second, that the principle of "attraction rather than promotion" works - they will wait for those who want what they have to seek them out.

I don't mean to lecture, really I don't, I just feel badly that you had such a negative experience of AA. Also, I do know that just because it works for me doesn't mean it works for everyone; nor does everyone who has problems with drink need to completely abstain for life. I just wanted to share how I dealt with some of the same issues in the early days, and how that approach allowed me the time and space to grow and make my own decisions about what shape my future sobriety would take.

I'll be thinking of you!