Alcohol Problems

[2big4britjez]

This is my very first post at lowcarbfriends, and luckily I found THIS thread! I, too, was a wine drinker (white zin). In 16 years' time, I went from nothing to a 1.5 liter bottle at one sitting. Once that cork popped, the entire contents was MINE.

I tried once to control my drinking by switching from the boxed wine to the 1.5 liters because I could *see* how much I had consumed. I told myself I was only allowed that 1.5 liter and when that was gone, I switched to water. Toward the end of 2006, I was way past that. I mean, when you pop the cork at 2 pm, how can that last you until dinner??

With the new year, a new me was born. I quit drinking. I'm eating LC and have lost 10 pounds! I'm going for counseling, plus plan on attending AA and ACoA starting next Monday.

I just thought I'd introduce myself HERE and say hello!

[peanutte]

Wow, that's quite an accomplishment, Val. Good for you! How did you go about the actual quitting?

[CurveControl]

Originally Posted by peanutte

Have you asked yourself "Why in the world did I do that?" What were you feeling before you decided to start a little early? Were you feeling bored? Rebellious? Tired? Hungry? Lonely? Stressed out? Sad?

All The above~
It was glaringly obvious in retrospect-
P.M.S.!!!!!
I am realy realy bad at not keeping tabs on my own emotions. Many fights have started at my house with DH telling me I have PMS, But TBH, He is right. We have both learned to ask, when i am acting wankwy.... what is the date???
When i was taking Welbutrin a couple of years ago It was so bad (exacerbated by the Rx) that it was more like PMDD.

[CurveControl]

Wow Val! That is great that you were able to stop so abruptly! Any Ill effects? detox symptoms?

[peanutte]

That's what I was wondering about. Some nights--more often than I am comfortable admitting, but I am committed to honesty here--I drink two bottles of wine, which is the same as those 1.5 liter magnums you described. So I am curious about how you just...stopped. I've expressed a desire to stop many times on this thread, and then I don't. Because I am apparently lacking in the courage to do so.

[CurveControl]

Originally Posted by peanutte

That's what I was wondering about. Some nights--more often than I am comfortable admitting, but I am committed to honesty here--I drink two bottles of wine, which is the same as those 1.5 liter magnums you described. So I am curious about how you just...stopped. I've expressed a desire to stop many times on this thread, and then I don't. Because I am apparently lacking in the courage to do so.

Me too.

[peanutte]

And the nights that I either have very little or nothing--I feel really good! Go figure.

[CurveControl]

I know. I was exhausted last night! I had 1/2 beer ( not a beer fan, But made a beerbutt chicken and had to use 1/2 the can somehow) and that was all. I feel good today. I had no more trouble sleeping than usual......

[peanutte]

That's great, Molly! Half a freaking beer counts as nothing in my book.

[Carolyn401]

I'm glad i found this site! My sister is an alcoholic.Its horrible watching it.She gets it honestly though,my dad was an alcoholic too.I hate it!!

[peanutte]

Welcome, Carolyn! Tell us more about the situation with your sister?

[2big4britjez]

How did I just....STOP? Over Christmas vacation DH, our 2 kids and I went to FL to visit my parents. Like usual, my mom was quick to point out my flaws. Everybody in the family drinks and it goes back through the generations. Anyway, we went out for dinner one night, and this guy with a walker tried to get passed me. He asked me to scoot in, I did. He said, "You're gonna have to do better than that!" I couldn't. There was nowhere for me to go. As everybody sat/stood there staring at me, I felt so utterly helpless....and FAT.

Top that experience with a lifetime of verbal abuse from my mom, and it pushed me over the edge.

The next morning I lashed out at my parents and demanded she not disrespect me verbally anymore, but treat me like an adult! We flew home after that (12/29).

January 1st came and I felt like a huge black cloud had been lifted. I felt liberated finally, and no longer felt the need to bury the hurt with wine. I never had any withdrawals, just felt better and better with each new morning that was hangover-free!

It's all good. And it's just the beginning!

Peanutte, just today my substance abuse counselor explained to me how quitting drinking comes in phases. She explained that a drinker will think about quitting, talk about quitting, and maybe even attempt it several times before they finally do take ACTION. I, personally, have tried to quit several times over the years; on my own, with a counselor (bad one), but just caved in. After experiencing the humiliation in that restaurant, I knew it was time. And the only way for me to get the weight off was to change my lifestyle, change my diet, and most importantly, change my ATTITUDE.

One day, you'll get pushed over the edge too. And until that day comes, pray to your God and ask for help!

Val

[peanutte]

Wow! Not only is that totally inspirational, but it fits in with my Harm Reduction way of thinking. Thanks so much, and I am glad you're here.

[2big4britjez]

Thanks! I'm glad I'm here, too!

[peanutte]

Hi guys. I had a bad night last night; binged on both food and wine. I'm not going to dwell on it. Gotta move forward.

[peanutte]

Okay, I've been drinking like a total wino all week and I feel tired, draggy, thick-headed and gross. I had a long serious talk with my boyfriend about why I keep saying I want to stop and then not stopping. I just really wanted him to listen to me being honest about my fears and concerns. He suggested I write down a goal just for this week. Maybe that would be less intimidating than trying to say "I'm quitting". So I did write down a goal--go to bed by 10:30 every night (I've been staying up way too late, and that leads to more drinking) and have no more than one bottle of wine. Just thought I'd share that here for accountability.

How's everyone doing?

[seejay]

One of the things I learned was that talking about the problem, doesn't help.

Talking about the solution, does help.

So talking more about your bedtime than the alcohol is a great start. Are you also reading any more books, getting educated, meeting with your friends working on recovery, etc and yadda, or is the bedtime the major habit change for the week? Talking here counts too of course.

My "clean and sober" activity is doing my advance meal prep tomorrow so I'm not tempted to eat poorly next week.

[peanutte]

I totally agree with you, seejay. Talking about what CHANGES you can make is positive. Talking about the drinking is negative. You're a really great source to have around here.

I did another thing different tonight. I made myself eat dinner before I had any wine (and as of 8:30 my time, I still haven't had any...haven't felt like it.) Usually I have a couple of glasses while I'm cooking, etc.

I did re-read some books this week. I don't have any real-life friends who are in recovery. You guys are it. So talking about going to bed earlier, taking better care of myself by drinking more water and stuff like that. That's my focus. The specific written goal for the week is the earlier bedtime, and not having more than a bottle any night this week.

[seejay]

I don't know if I ever mentioned - but Dr. DesMaisons' program had a 92% success rate keeping guys sober, back when she ran a treatment program and was keeping statistics. And these were hard-core guys with muliple DUIs. course maybe the court orders were motivating.... For comparison, most treatment programs get 25% and AA is 10%. So..... read the Potatoes not Prozac book too. It's a must-have.

And guess what! moving the wine to after meals is one of the baby steps. Very kind to your bod.

And I would advise getting some real-life recovery girl friends. Even if it means going to a meeting (I never really liked those, but it was because I felt out of it since my drug of choice was food. I did drink a huge amount but it wasn't that hard to quit so I couldn't relate as well.) oh this sentence is going on and on but, recovery girl friends are SOOOO funny, smart, intuitive, compassionate, you would not believe!!!!

[peanutte]

You know, seejay, I was very open to that when I got my DUI two years ago, and I did seek out a women's AA meeting...but like you're saying, I could not relate to them. I simply could not relate to the enormous amount of mental space drinking had taken up for them. I freely admit I abuse alcohol, regularly, but when I don't have it I seriously don't feel like I'm white knuckling at all.

I did find an alternative meeting which I attended every Thursday night. It started with a presentation by the doctor who ran it, and we'd all get handouts and reading material. Then we broke into small groups. I was in the Moderation group, and I did feel wonderful having a group of people to relate to. But there's nothing like that in my town, not at all. Alternative recovery is still so fringe.

Hey, but I did so well last night! I didn't even have anything to drink until nine-thirty, and I nursed a 750 ml bottle of wine (that's the regular-sized bottle) for four hours! Yeah, I did stay up late, but that's okay because it was Saturday night and my boyfriend and I were watching SNL together. The issue with the bedtime is that I don't want to stay up after he goes to bed, drinking wine my myself. I have to tell you I wasn't even buzzed by the time I went to bed. And it felt so easy!

Tonight I won't have anything because it's Sunday and the stores are closed.

[CurveControl]

Originally Posted by peanutte

You know, seejay, I was very open to that when I got my DUI two years ago, and I did seek out a women's AA meeting...but like you're saying, I could not relate to them. I simply could not relate to the enormous amount of mental space drinking had taken up for them. I freely admit I abuse alcohol, regularly, but when I don't have it I seriously don't feel like I'm white knuckling at all.

I did find an alternative meeting which I attended every Thursday night. It started with a presentation by the doctor who ran it, and we'd all get handouts and reading material. Then we broke into small groups. I was in the Moderation group, and I did feel wonderful having a group of people to relate to. But there's nothing like that in my town, not at all. Alternative recovery is still so fringe.

Hey, but I did so well last night! I didn't even have anything to drink until nine-thirty, and I nursed a 750 ml bottle of wine (that's the regular-sized bottle) for four hours! Yeah, I did stay up late, but that's okay because it was Saturday night and my boyfriend and I were watching SNL together. The issue with the bedtime is that I don't want to stay up after he goes to bed, drinking wine my myself. I have to tell you I wasn't even buzzed by the time I went to bed. And it felt so easy!

Tonight I won't have anything because it's Sunday and the stores are closed.

I have had a good weekend, mostly because I have had a cold, and just too lazy and cold to move from the couch! (I drink and smoke in the cold cold garage!)

[peanutte]

I've been re-reading sections of my book Over the Influence because it helps me stay motivated, and it gives me good ideas.

One of the concepts in harm reduction is that your relationship to your drug (for us here, alcohol) is not one-size-fits-all. I'm not knocking the 12 Steps for those who find it to be an excellent way to go, but the two main things people seem to find unfullfilling about AA are: its spiritual/religious focus and its simplification of the "disease."

The chapter I was reading today was about the complexity of one's relationship with one's drug. If the AA disease model works for you, then I think that's great, truly. But it doesn't feel right to me personally. Harm Reduction talks about the triangular relationship of three aspects of your alcohol use:

DRUG

SET

SETTING

The "drug" is alcohol. In our case, the drug is legal. The way in which we take it is by drinking it--but do we dilute it with mixers? Take it straight? These are the questions of "drug". Are we drinking high end vodka or cheap rotgut? Sugary wine coolers or plain wine? Low carb beer or inported stout?

The "set" is us: our individual personalities, our habits, our mind"set". What is our emotional state? What is our ethnic or religious background? Our family background? What is our medical health like--are we predisposed toward alcoholism, diabetes, liver problems? What do we expect to get from our alcohol use--relaxation, euphoria, a buzz, escape, zoning out, a light feeling of intoxication? That is "set". It's about the individual.


The "setting" is where you use and how. Do you drink socially or alone? Daily or only binge on the weekends? In the evening or during the day too? What does your culture of origin say about drinking? Your family of origin? What kind of surrounding support do you have in your life? Are you in a stable life situation, or is your job in danger, or perhaps you've just moved recently? What attitudes about alcohol use does your culture have these days? This is the environment or "setting" of your alcohol use.

My gosh, these things can certainly be applied to food as well. I think I'm going to post this on the Binge Eating thread too.

[seejay]

What's the point of the "harm reduction" model? is it to help you quit, or to keep using without having any harm?

I'm like you too, really couldn't get into the AA thing where that was their life. But from listening to people for whom that works - usually their drinking lives were so wrecked that when they took away the drinking, there was nothing left! and then to rebuild they find AA.

I don't know if you'd characterize the way I think of it as a "disease" model. I do think that I have a specific physiology that responds in a predictable way to psychotropic food and drink - but I don't think I am diseased. I just don't want to use things that whack me out or lead me to harm.

[CurveControl]

DRUG~Red Wine, mostly

SET~39 yo MWF, Genetic and environmentally predisposed to alcoholism. Christian, relaxation, sleep.

SETTING~alone, in my garage, anywhere from 2 glasses to a bottle a day. When I go 'out' I drink Gin &Tonic, maybe one or 2. Then wine when I get home.

[peanutte]

What's the point of the "harm reduction" model? is it to help you quit, or to keep using without having any harm?

I'm like you too, really couldn't get into the AA thing where that was their life. But from listening to people for whom that works - usually their drinking lives were so wrecked that when they took away the drinking, there was nothing left! and then to rebuild they find AA.

seejay, I'm glad you asked. The "point" of harm reduction is to begin taking steps to reduce the "harm" before you quit or drastically reduce your chemical use. You know the steps of precontemplation, contemplation, and action? Well, for many people it feels hopeless because they are so mired in their habit. The idea is to do things to reduce harm like choosing not to drink out at bars ot parties, where crazy things might happen; to slowly make steps to gain more control over your habit; to identify areas where you can increase your self-care before quitting or moderating....does that make more sense?

I agree with you about AA, though. Many people really do hit "rock bottom" and have completely lost control of their drinking and their lives. For them, the simplicity of saying "I am an alcoholic and sobriety is my top priority" makes it clear and focused.

Harm Reduction is controversial because we're so accustomed to hearing the language of Abstinance-Only and Rock Bottom and Let Go And Let God and One Day at a Time. Harm Reduction says: there's no moral judgement attached to your habit. YOU are in charge of deciding what to do. YOU are in charge of making it happen (not God, not a Higher Power). The truth is, there are many habitual drinkers who are highly functioning. Their lives ae not a mess and their relationships aren't in a shambles. They know they need to do something about the problem, but making an alcoholic identity the center of their lives just doesn't feel right.

Keep asking questions and if you get the chance, read the book. OVER THE INFLUENCE by Patt Denning, Jeannie Little and Adina Glickman.

[CurveControl]

Originally Posted by peanutte

The truth is, there are many habitual drinkers who are highly functioning. Their lives ae not a mess and their relationships aren't in a shambles. They know they need to do something about the problem, but making an alcoholic identity the center of their lives just doesn't feel right.
Keep asking questions and if you get the chance, read the book. OVER THE INFLUENCE by Patt Denning, Jeannie Little and Adina Glickman.

True!
In AA, It seems, to work it, I would spend more time 'meeting' than I do drinking, by far!!!

[peanutte]

And for some people, that is necessary. They DO think about it all the time during those first months, and crave it like crazy, and miss it like they'd miss