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#151 | |
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Big Yapper!!!!
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#152 |
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Blabbermouth!!!
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,905
Gallery: peanutte
Stats: 212 (before Atkins)/188 (Jan.'09)/136.2/140
WOE: Atkins Pre-Maintenance
Start Date: 01/03/09
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Welcome, Selina! I do not think you will find yourself judged here. This is a safe place to talk openly and honestly about our problems with alcohol and our desire to change. Nobody is expecting perfection from anybody. Some of us already have sobriety, and many of us are still struggling. Thank you for posting.
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#153 |
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Formerlychubchick
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Ohio
Posts: 55,677
Gallery: CurveControl
Stats: 200/ 182.0/173.5 /135
WOE: moderate carb, 30-60 grams
Start Date: 3/25/08 *sigh*
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It's Sunday.
[COLOR="Red"]I AM NOT READY!!!![/COLOR] I am Terrified. My hands are Even sweaty. I will see how the day goes. It has been a tough week, emotionally. My Dad and DD were visiting, and one would think that just looking at him it would be easy to drop the booze! He looks horrible, has tremors, and had a drink before we went to my DS's taiquando practice. Not that he wouldn't have smelled like bourbon if he hadn't had that drink. It seems that he is back at the point where his liver no longer can process the amount of alcohol he has ingested so he sweats it out through his pores, even if it has been 18 hours since his last drink, he smells of it. How is that making me want to drink, so as not to think about it???? One would think I would spend 4 days with him and swear never to touch the stuff. WTH is wrong with me????
__________________
Molly * start the 100 days to wt loss book * clean, fully, baseboards, windows and all one room a day * cook at home every day rather than ordering or eating out ~♥~ ~♥~ ~♥~ ~♥~ There was a little girl who had a little curl, Right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good she was very, very good, But when she was bad she was horrid. |
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#154 |
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MAJOR LCF POSTER!
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Hi everbody- I'm back.
I've been drinking into the first week of the year even though I said I would not. My partners birthday was on the 4th and we agreed that we would start again with the lc plan (I've been off of that for the holidays) on the 8th. So tonight I'll have a couple of drinks but after tonight I have to stop. I've been reading to get caught up with your posts and it seems to have been a roller coaster of feelings for us all. I'm a littel aprehensive about not having those drinks in the evenings to fall back on but it's just a crutch that I don't need. Got to get a grip. I KNOW I will feel better without the alcohol. I know for certain that I will sleep better. The weight will start to come off. My mood will improve. I just have to do this. |
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#155 | |
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MAJOR LCF POSTER!
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Quote:
I wish I knew what to say to make it better. I do know that if you're not ready than you're not ready. When you are, it will happen for you. Just hang in there and know that all of us are here for you. |
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#156 |
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MAJOR LCF POSTER!
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#157 |
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Blabbermouth!!!
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,905
Gallery: peanutte
Stats: 212 (before Atkins)/188 (Jan.'09)/136.2/140
WOE: Atkins Pre-Maintenance
Start Date: 01/03/09
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Molly, this is obviously hard for you, but we are here to supoport you in any way we can.
I won't drink anything tonight so I will be sending strong thoughts to you. |
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#158 |
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Formerlychubchick
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Ohio
Posts: 55,677
Gallery: CurveControl
Stats: 200/ 182.0/173.5 /135
WOE: moderate carb, 30-60 grams
Start Date: 3/25/08 *sigh*
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Thanks. The only booze in the house is whisky, and I am NOT a whisky girl.
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#159 |
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Blabbermouth!!!
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,905
Gallery: peanutte
Stats: 212 (before Atkins)/188 (Jan.'09)/136.2/140
WOE: Atkins Pre-Maintenance
Start Date: 01/03/09
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Yeah, me neither. Although lately, white wine, which is my drink, hasn't been tasting good to me. It's been a while since I 've had it and really enjoyed the taste.
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#160 |
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Formerlychubchick
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Ohio
Posts: 55,677
Gallery: CurveControl
Stats: 200/ 182.0/173.5 /135
WOE: moderate carb, 30-60 grams
Start Date: 3/25/08 *sigh*
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I am a Red wine gal myself.
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#161 |
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Blabbermouth!!!
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,905
Gallery: peanutte
Stats: 212 (before Atkins)/188 (Jan.'09)/136.2/140
WOE: Atkins Pre-Maintenance
Start Date: 01/03/09
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This will sound ridiculous, but I got out of the red habit when I lived in a more modern apartment with off-white carpet. Ha!
How are you doing, Molly? I'll check in throughout the evening so if you need some help, I'll try to be around... |
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#163 |
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Senior LCF Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 511
Gallery: lisayak
Stats: 187/140/140
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: June 2005
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Hi All!
Molly, I really hope you had a peaceful evening. You deserve it after having challenging guests (even if they are family)! Peanutte, I may be a little Bree Van de Kamp, but I'm with you on the red wine/white carpet scenario. Personally, I like wood floors - all the better to clean up my messes, coffee still makes a massive stain. Congratulations on a sober night, and here's to hoping tonight is peaceful for you. Hi John, you're keeping your thoughts positive and I'm sure you'll succeed. It's good to have you back. Selina, welcome and keep posting. Although we all have different takes on our alcohol problems, you will find support here no matter what you decide to do to try and help yourself. Good luck! As for myself, the separation/divorce is proceeding. It's not easy but I find that if I concentrate on the present, most of my days, even the tough ones, are actually pretty good. I'm learning that I can be a resilient and resourceful person, and a person I can trust. Amazing! Hope you all have a great day!
__________________
What a long, strange trip it's been...
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#164 | |
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Blabbermouth!!!
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,905
Gallery: peanutte
Stats: 212 (before Atkins)/188 (Jan.'09)/136.2/140
WOE: Atkins Pre-Maintenance
Start Date: 01/03/09
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Quote:
I don't understand why I bother to drink at all--when every time I don't, I have a nice normal evening, just without the layer of softness added by wine. I don't know what it is I think I'm getting out of drinking anymore. Makes me really question whether it's a deeply ingrained habit vs. some kind of emotional crutch. |
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#165 |
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Formerlychubchick
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Ohio
Posts: 55,677
Gallery: CurveControl
Stats: 200/ 182.0/173.5 /135
WOE: moderate carb, 30-60 grams
Start Date: 3/25/08 *sigh*
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Thanks Peanutte- I don't post a lot at night- DS and DH are usually playing RPGs on the comps!
OK, I had 2 real size (not oversized calling it 2) glasses of wine, so better than usual. I want to keep that level or less all week and ease out of it. I just almost never get a buzz, I don't drink enough, So WHY do I need it so much? |
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#166 |
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Blabbermouth!!!
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,905
Gallery: peanutte
Stats: 212 (before Atkins)/188 (Jan.'09)/136.2/140
WOE: Atkins Pre-Maintenance
Start Date: 01/03/09
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Molly, that's great. I'm proud of you! I honestly believe the deal is, we've trained ourselves to think we need it. What was that story about the kid who has a magic hat or a magic feather and then he ended up losing it, and he thought he couldn't get home, but realized that he didn't need it at all, but had only needed to believe in something that had magic power?
I think this because obviously I am not physically addicted (although of course I do believe there are people who cross the line to becoming true addicts). I experience no physical effects form not drinking for several days in a row. But around five o'clock, I get antsy and start arguing with myself over whether to walk up to the store or not. I hope that now that I have been more deliberately examining the good and the bad effects I get from it, I am more able to say "I really don't want it". I may not be having hangovers, but I do experience a tiredness and general low energy when I drink. As opposed to when I don't, and I feel perky right away in the moring. |
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#167 | |
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Formerlychubchick
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Ohio
Posts: 55,677
Gallery: CurveControl
Stats: 200/ 182.0/173.5 /135
WOE: moderate carb, 30-60 grams
Start Date: 3/25/08 *sigh*
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Quote:
I hope I do as well as you have! |
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#168 | |
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Blabbermouth!!!
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,905
Gallery: peanutte
Stats: 212 (before Atkins)/188 (Jan.'09)/136.2/140
WOE: Atkins Pre-Maintenance
Start Date: 01/03/09
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Oh honey, I am not doing all that well. I did pretty well when I was out of my element for two weeks, because it simply wasn't an option and I felt fine about that. I had drinks on the plane coming home, more drinks all week since I've been back...I don't really think I am the poster child for breaking this habit. But thanks for the vote of confidence.
One thing I am committed to on this thread is being brutally honest and not prettying-up my drinking. I can drink--and did drink--two bottles of wine some nights this week. Other nights not as much. One thing I find important if change is going to happen is, we need to get it out into the open, out into the light. Quote:
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#169 |
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Big Yapper!!!!
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I make Merlot at home CC dry and lots of it ! I have lots of other alcohol in the cuboard but wont touch it till who knows when.
I have not been doing too bad acually i have cut back allot but not completly dry Mitz where are you girlfriend? |
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#171 |
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Blabbermouth!!!
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,905
Gallery: peanutte
Stats: 212 (before Atkins)/188 (Jan.'09)/136.2/140
WOE: Atkins Pre-Maintenance
Start Date: 01/03/09
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I mean, what would be the point otherwise? It's not like anyone is going to gently suggest I might have a problem, and shock me. I know I have a problem! That's why I am making improvments and efforts!
I don't think I told you guys that one of my best friends had a serious talk with me over the holidays that made me squirm. She basically said she thought she had done me a disservice by telling me she didn't think my drinking was that big a deal in years past, because she didn't realize how much I was drinking, or how often. I lived with her at the time! I said, honey, I regularly had a bottle of wine in the evenings, and I never hid it from you--you went to bed early and I would drink after I got home form work, later. It was really a challenge to respond honestly without getting defensive because I did not particularly want to have that conversation. But I realized that to her, this was something relatively new she was digesting, so I tried my best to explain to her that I understood I was a habitual drinker and was taking steps to address it...however, the steps I was taking, and the timetable I was using, might not be what she thought it should be. She "got" that and tried to be open. I told her it had been pretty much the same for years, and hadn't escalated until the end of my second marriage, and then went back to being too-much-but-not-over-the-top-too-much. That was confusing to her, but I tried to just be calm and truthful and not worry about her response to it. It is extremely hard to have that conversation with someone who is essentially a non-drinker. Last edited by peanutte; 01-08-2007 at 04:11 PM.. |
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#172 | |
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Formerlychubchick
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Ohio
Posts: 55,677
Gallery: CurveControl
Stats: 200/ 182.0/173.5 /135
WOE: moderate carb, 30-60 grams
Start Date: 3/25/08 *sigh*
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Quote:
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#173 |
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Blabbermouth!!!
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,905
Gallery: peanutte
Stats: 212 (before Atkins)/188 (Jan.'09)/136.2/140
WOE: Atkins Pre-Maintenance
Start Date: 01/03/09
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I know. I didn't drink Sunday night, and yesterday I mentioned that to my BF, and he assumed I had been drinking. Hello! I don't know what to make of that. Either I don't act much different when drinking, or I act so silly anyway that anyone would assume I am drunk?
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#174 |
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Senior LCF Member
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Hi all, I just found this thread. Please excuse me for joining (butting in?) suddenly like this, but I wondered if you were interested in or care about what's going on physically and brain-chemistry around quitting alcohol? Or is this group more interested in the daily life stories in which case ignore this.
I was a problem drinker, and overeater, and don't do either any more. No white-knuckling, either - I don't have cravings to white-knuckle about. I was a major drinker, too, mostly beer. I could have pitchers and pitchers - my pattern was a nightly binge. Two DUIs and the whole out-of-control thing eventually. All from a nutrition program, Radiant Recovery by Dr. Kathleen DesMaisons who wrote "Potatoes not Prozac." Her web site is at radiantrecovery.com. She has a working theory about the underlying common causes of addictions for people like us. Her web site is a "laboratory" where people are experimenting on themselves - following the program as if the theory were already proved. Thousands of people have happily gotten off carb and alcohol addiction that way. But anyway, you can read some of the articles free at her web site. Enjoy! Offered in the spirit of, some of us like to know the "why" as we work through this. I did. Beta Endorphin Story - why we have cravings when we know we've had enough food. http://www.radiantrecovery.com/resou...er/bestory.htm Brain Chemistry 101 - the brain chemicals that are proven to be lower in carb and alcohol addicts. This is not theory, this has been accepted in the science community. What makes it "theory" is Dr. DesMaison is postulating there's a whole subgroup of the population that shares certain traits etc etc. http://www.radiantrecovery.com/chemistry.htm Learned Helplessness - why we keep doing it when we know better. http://www.radiantrecovery.com/resou...lplessness.htm No More Drinking - the nuts and bolts of detox support, from Dr. D's many years as an addiction counselor. http://www.radiantrecovery.com/resou...redrinking.htm Addiction Amoeba - why stopping one addiction, without fixing the brain, makes us switch to another. http://www.radiantrecovery.com/resou...tionamoeba.htm |
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#176 |
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Blabbermouth!!!
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,905
Gallery: peanutte
Stats: 212 (before Atkins)/188 (Jan.'09)/136.2/140
WOE: Atkins Pre-Maintenance
Start Date: 01/03/09
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If any of you like to read, I can't recommend Augusten Burroughs' DRY highly enough. He was a hotshot advertising writer at the age of twenty, and well on his way to drinking himself to death by the time he was 25. His story of being forced to go to rehab, and his struggles to keep sobriety thereafter, is deeply moving and a fantastic read.
Just curious: anyone here have feelings of thinking about going to rehab, but feel scared to do so? Anyone here who's sober, did you go to rehab? |
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#177 |
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Senior LCF Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 511
Gallery: lisayak
Stats: 187/140/140
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: June 2005
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I absolutely loved DRY. I read it before I got sober and I found it encouraging - I was nowhere near as bad off as he was, and if he could get sober, perhaps I could too.
I just ordered Drinking: A Love Story (sorry, forget author) from amazon on recommendation from a very close friend (from the States) who just left a four month residential rehab program. Because of the National Health Service we have in the UK, it is very difficult to get funding to go to rehab unless you can pay for it yourself or you have secondary insurance which covers it (rare). I would have liked to go to rehab - the opportunity to be completely safe from alcohol appealed to me in the early days and the opportunity to concentrate solely on recovery appeals to me now. Family and financial circumstances would have made that impossible, however. So I had to do it the old-fashioned way: 90 meetings in 90 days. My girlfriend found it highly beneficial and believes it has given her a very firm foundation for her sober life. Only time will tell if she achieves long term sobriety, but she feels rehab has given her the best chance possible of making that happen. She was very scared to go and only did so when forced to; she detoxed herself nine times in one year rather than go to rehab. When she got there, she wanted to leave (and she could leave at any time) but staff asked her to commit to only one week, for the sake of her health. She agreed, and by the end of that week was willing to commit for the full 28 days. At the end of 28 days she could see the value in pursuing recovery so decided to commit to a further 90 days of treatment. I have friends who have sobered up through rehab (then AA) and those who only had AA. Seems like if you're personally motivated, you will sober up no matter what, although of course for anyone physically addicted they should be under the care of their doctor whilst they detox. |
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#178 |
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Blabbermouth!!!
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,905
Gallery: peanutte
Stats: 212 (before Atkins)/188 (Jan.'09)/136.2/140
WOE: Atkins Pre-Maintenance
Start Date: 01/03/09
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You will love Drinking: A Love Story. I've read it over and over. Caroline Knapp is the author. Sadly, she died of lung cancer a few years ago at a very young age--but she was sober.
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#179 |
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Blabbermouth!!!
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,905
Gallery: peanutte
Stats: 212 (before Atkins)/188 (Jan.'09)/136.2/140
WOE: Atkins Pre-Maintenance
Start Date: 01/03/09
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Hello--anyone around?
How are you guys doing? Myself, not so well with the drinking. Pretty dang bad, actually. |
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#180 |
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Senior LCF Member
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Peanutte, you sound so close to actually wanting to do it, get sober (putting my finger and thumb this close together). Sorry you are not feeling good about it.
I didn't go to rehab. Did the RR food program and then abstinence was easy but I should also say alcohol is not my drug of choice (sugars and whites are mine). However, my BF needed to go to rehab but resisted it all his life. I don't know what he didn't like about it - I think he didn't want to be preached at. But, he needed medical supervision and when he went cold turkey without it, the usual bad things happened (DTs and a coma). He did tell me during his last 6 months, happily sober, that he was really sorry he didn't stop drinking earlier, because he didn't know there was a whole world of cool people interested in helping sobriety who were not judgemental. In his alcohol days he thought sober people were uncool and hated him (er, like his family I guess) |
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