Alcohol Problems

[CurveControl]

DH isn't (in his words) going to make it easy for me to go to meetings anymore since my sobriety is the source of all our marital troubles (!)

OWH Muhy Gawd.

That is awful! What a butthead!

Keep up the good work! Sobriety is hard, so screw him for trying to make it harder, but if you are there you have won that point, do NOT let him have anymore of you! Stay strong! You are going great!!!

[relentless]

Originally Posted by lisayak

I'm really going through a difficult time right now and I have to remember to put "I'm staying sober" at the top of my gratitude list every night. It's easy to forget exactly how much of a victory that is for me.

I have to remind myself of the same thing all the time. I find myself internalizing so much that I never give myself the due credit I deserve for my sobriety. It's still so ingrained in me that I should feel bad about being a drunk, that I think I don't feel like I have the right to feel good about what a huge sucesse being sober is.

Hope your home life gets better. My boyfriend has been with me both drunk and sober. He mourns the fun we had together when we would go out and get drunk, but he also is super relieved that I'm not doing the jackass stuff I used to when I would drink. He still drinks but has been very supportive of my sobriety which has been really good for me. I can only imagine how much harder it is when your significant other is not so supportive.

[lisayak]

Thanks CC & Relentless for your support. It really means a lot when I'm surrounded by people second-guessing me.

I hope all on this board had a peaceful and enjoyable Christmas. As for myself, despite it being the most painful and lonely Christmas I have ever had, there are still things to be grateful for:

1. Kids had a great time.
2. DH kept the sarcastic comments to a minimum, and only when kids were out of earshot.
3. Dear friends had us over for Christmas dinner so we didn't have to do it alone - his family were out of the question because his father will no longer have anything to do with me (Sicilian). Thank God for them.
4. This, although my second sober Christmas, was my first clean Christmas. Last year, despite having quit dope for 18 months my DH's friend gave me some as a present and I smoked it. I realised I needed to be clean and sober and learned my lesson. This year I made sure there would be no "presents"!
5. Christmas will never be this difficult again. By next year, the separation/divorce will have occurred and although I will have to negotiate access to the children with him (amicably, I pray) I will not ever have to sit in such a toxic environment again.

I'm off to meet some great friends for a walk in the park, a very welcome treat. Hope no one else on this thread had as lousy a Christmas as I did, but if you did you have my full empathy!

[relentless]

Originally Posted by lisayak

Thanks CC & Relentless for your support. It really means a lot when I'm surrounded by people second-guessing me.

I hope all on this board had a peaceful and enjoyable Christmas. As for myself, despite it being the most painful and lonely Christmas I have ever had, there are still things to be grateful for:

1. Kids had a great time.
2. DH kept the sarcastic comments to a minimum, and only when kids were out of earshot.
3. Dear friends had us over for Christmas dinner so we didn't have to do it alone - his family were out of the question because his father will no longer have anything to do with me (Sicilian). Thank God for them.
4. This, although my second sober Christmas, was my first clean Christmas. Last year, despite having quit dope for 18 months my DH's friend gave me some as a present and I smoked it. I realised I needed to be clean and sober and learned my lesson. This year I made sure there would be no "presents"!
5. Christmas will never be this difficult again. By next year, the separation/divorce will have occurred and although I will have to negotiate access to the children with him (amicably, I pray) I will not ever have to sit in such a toxic environment again.

I'm off to meet some great friends for a walk in the park, a very welcome treat. Hope no one else on this thread had as lousy a Christmas as I did, but if you did you have my full empathy!

You made it through! And it sounds like it was certainly challenging. Good job on getting through it clean as well as sober. You deserve more than what you have right now, do whatever you can to detox-ify yourself from your toxic environment as often as you can.

[banalien]

I found that I could not wait until the 1st of the year to quit the drinking. I went to a party on the 23rd and I knew after I had drank the 12th beer or so and did not even feel a buzz that it was time for me to quit.

So- I have 4 sober days (almost, the night isn't over!) I have no urge whatsoever to have a drink at this point.

The possible liver problem was really noticeable on Christmas Eve...I feel the bulge protruding slightly from underneath the ribcage all across my body. It is definitely not normal and I am terrified to find out if it is my liver or some other terrible problem, like Pancreatic or Stomach Cancer. I do have pain along the ribcage like it is bruised and sore. It will get better the longer I go without the beer. I have quit before with only small success and the longest was for about 6 months. The last time was for 3 months and when I restarted with the beer, I got that nice BUZZ feeling but only the first few times I had some beer, then it was back to drinking more and more to keep that feeling.

I live with a person who drinks and he is ready to quit, too. Even if he doesn't I am still going to stay sober. My health is deteriorating and I am killing myself slowly with this stuff. I have a DGS that I am raising and he means the world to me. Good luck on the 1st to everybody that is posting here and to all the people that are already taking it one day at a time.

[orangeblossom]

I love this forum...been reading posts lately and feel a total connection to what everyone is talking about. Lisayak, congrats on a second sober christmas. This was my first Christmas as a divorced mom...third christmas since my separation. It wasnt sober by any means...but now I'm ready to start living for myself, and that means reclaiming myself thru sobriety.

[Mel7]

Originally Posted by banalien

I found that I could not wait until the 1st of the year to quit the drinking.

So- I have 4 sober days (almost, the night isn't over!) I have no urge whatsoever to have a drink at this point.

Mitz im so so so proud of you I want to thank you again for the great talk yesturday too because im so aware of what im doing now
This morning i feel better than i have in a long time because i didnt have a huge bottle of wine.Im getting back to my one glass of wine aday and Mitz not the BIG glass and NO coolers because having a day cooler triggers chat and more coolers

Glad to see you Orange !

I will check in later

[banalien]

Originally Posted by Mel7

Mitz im so so so proud of you I want to thank you again for the great talk yesturday too because im so aware of what im doing now
This morning i feel better than i have in a long time because i didnt have a huge bottle of wine.Im getting back to my one glass of wine aday and Mitz not the BIG glass and NO coolers because having a day cooler triggers chat and more coolers

Glad I could help, Mel! I am still sober today and still do not have any urge for a drink. My worst time for the urge to drink is right before TOM. It comes on SO strong and when I have given in in the past, I have ended up drinking even more than usual, which means waking up with a monster hangover...do NOT miss those!

I need control in my life and I find that LC gives me that control. When I stay on LC I usually do not have the urge to drink even before TOM. I also noticed that I do not have cramps once I give up sugar and alcohol completely. My biggest problem doing without alcohol seems to be boredom (that is what I tell myself) but it is really the fact that I miss the "BUZZ". That is the hard part to admit. That is the TRUTH. It is not the boredom, it is the buzz.

One day at a time...

[Mel7]

Yes Mitz i agree one day at a time

I feel so much better now i have made myself rations of wine.....

slept so good last night for the first time in a long time.

2 more days till next year everyone ready?

[CurveControl]

Mitz!

[banalien]

Originally Posted by CurveControl

Mitz!

Thank you, CC!

[banalien]

Originally Posted by Mel7

Yes Mitz i agree one day at a time

I feel so much better now i have made myself rations of wine.....

slept so good last night for the first time in a long time.

2 more days till next year everyone ready?

I hear ya, Mel! i am sleeping better, too. KUTGW!

[banalien]

Just an update on my progress. I have 6 sober days (almost, have to get through tonite, but don't see a problem). The swelling along my ribcage is going down and the pain is going away along the ribs and my kidneys feel better, too.

As an added bonus, I have lost 7 lbs. since I quit last Sunday. I am starting off the New Year by doing Induction on 1/1/07 with the " Losing MY WAY by Valentine's Day" Challenge on the Atkins, subforum.

The thread will go up tomorrow or Sunday. Mel7 will be putting it up for anyone interested. The MY WAY means that anyone on any WOE is . The more the merrier! I have been with the group that will be on the thread since July (I think ) I actually joined LCF in March but did not start to get serious until a few months after that. We are a very supportive and caring group so if you need support- come on over! I will still be posting here and reading and supporting others on this thread, too.

That's it for now...hope I did not bore you to death! Will TTYL or tomorrow!

[Mel7]

Mitz im so so so proud of you and i think its 7 days you have been sober

and 7 pounds too

Did i ever tell you 7 is my lucky fave number

Like Mitz said everyone welcome for the new challenge starting sunday.I will drop a link into this thread

On this challenge make your own goals,post daily with anything you like to share,menu's,exericse or just to vent some if you like.!!!! Hence the (MY WAY) name thanx Mitz.
we all stick together pritty thick so lots of support for whatever you need.......

would love to see you there

[Mel7]

Happy New Year Everyone

[banalien]

Well, so much for my sobriety! I had been rolling along in the last week just doing my own thing, not even THINKING about alcohol (I swear!) and then today I up and blow it completely! All of a sudden around 6 or so today I got the URGE. It was so STRONG. I just said to myself "Self, it IS New Year's Eve, and it only comes once a year, so why not just celebrate the New Year with a couple beers?" Self answered by asking DSH if there was any beer in the house as I had asked him not to buy any and bring home lately. He says there is an 18 pak that the neighbor gave us since we pay for his trash to be picked up, he buys us freebies a couple X a month. I check the fridge and DSH had drank about 12 of them. So, I thought "There are only 6 left. I can handle that." Next thing I know, the sober neighbor is driving me to the store for more beer around 8 PM. Here it is 1:17 in the morning of the New Year and I am already cheating on my Induction which was to start on 1/1 and to top it off- STILL DRINKING! The most horrible thing is- I don't even feel buzzed! Why do I do this! It is SOOO depressing!

[peanutte]

relentless, I am so proud of you! That must have been torture and I can't believe you were able to stay so strong! Give yourself a big round of applause!

I had a two week vacation where I went back to MN and visited my friends for one week, then went to the family house with all my sisters and nephews and parents for a week.

The first week, I had three days where I didn't drink anything. The second week, I didn't drink at all except for one evening when I went out with my two younger sisters and their best friends from back home. I had four glasses of wine that night. Other than that I was completely sober the whole time.

I drank a lot when I got back home the first night, out of a feeling of exhaustion and wanting to just flick the switch that shuts everything off. But last night, even though it was new year's Eve, I had two glasses of wine while cooking, and then we cracked the champagne and I had a glass, but when he poured a second glass for me I found my myself ignoring it and eventually pouring it out, because I truly didn't want any more to drink. That's pretty awesome, eh? So I think I am making some progress here.

[CurveControl]

Mitz- Just get right back up, Babe! You know you can, You JUST did!!!!!
Peanutte-Roll with that. You sound well on your way! Mentally ready! I am rooting for you all! I am not going fully dry until the 5th, when DD and my Dad ho back home (well, her to school, him to home!)

[cookielover]

Good morning everyone! I've never posted here but have been reading and planning to get on the wagon Jan 1. I have an extreme hangover today, but I am so excited about quitting. I am a 41 year old mother of 2 children (9 & 11) and I have been a heavy drinker of wine, beer, liquor, ANYTHING for 20+ years. With the support from you all, I know I can do it!

Mitz - Please don't kick yourself around. I know exactly how you feel, but think about how well you did and how good you felt, and give yourself credit for trying. Gather yourself up and try again. We'll do it together!

Lisayak - Your posts really speak to me. I think I'll learn a lot from you.

I am so happy that I found this group!

[peanutte]

I'm really proud of you all, whether you're racking up sober days, cutting back, or even just in the stages of contemplating those changes. I am so glad we've got more posters on this thread and more encouragement and advice for everyone. It rawks!

One thing that can potentially trip me up, Mitz, is the idea of couting your sober days and viewing a drinking day as wiping the slate clean and starting from square one again. You DID have a string of sober days and that is great. Yes, you drank on NY Eve--but I think you learned something about yourself, and I also think that does NOT take away the good work you'd done.

Once you start really paying attention to how physically good, and how mentally clear-minded you feel on those sober days, I truly feel something starts to shift inside, and the drinking no longer holds the appeal it used to.

[Mel7]

Mitz my friend do not be so hard on yourself. Its one day at a time girlfriend.You have done very well and dont let this bring you down.

Lets stick together

[CurveControl]

DD and my Dad arrive today and leave saturday. Sunday will be my first day of total sobriety, and hopefully smoke free too!

[lisayak]

Hi all! Sounds like a good New Year was had by all.

Mitz, gotta agree with CC & Peanutte, get right back on that horse. You accomplished a lot with 7 sober days, and no one can take that away. You should be proud. Keep trying!

Peanutte - it sounds like you got a good thing going there. I could never have left champagne. Or any other drink for that matter!

Cookielover - I love cookies too! Only over here they call them biscuits. They're pretty good too! Good to have you here, it's a nice thread to talk about things we don't often admit elsewhere. I have two kids as well, 7 and 5. Keep posting and let us know how you are.

CC - best of luck with Sunday. You've written before about how those two habits are linked for you...NOT easy!!!

Relentless - I am trying so very, very hard to get through this and Thank God, one day at a time I haven't picked up a drink.

DH isn't a bad person, just an extremely confused and heartbroken one. I've lived my life using a "bag of masks" to get through the days...I was raised to people please and now, at 35, am discovering how toxic that behaviour was too. Still, I have to remember that I really did do the best I could each day with the information I had at the time. There's no point blaming myself for what I've done when I wasn't aware I was doing it (she says, trying desperately to believe it and LET GO).

Today has been such an emotional roller coaster for me, I'm exhausted and desperate for sleep. I really hope you all are well, and enjoying a lovely, peaceful day.



Lisa

[peanutte]

DH isn't a bad person, just an extremely confused and heartbroken one. I've lived my life using a "bag of masks" to get through the days...I was raised to people please and now, at 35, am discovering how toxic that behaviour was too. Still, I have to remember that I really did do the best I could each day with the information I had at the time.

Well, how great is it that you're learning some new patterns NOW? It's such a typical female thing to be taught to be a people-pleaser. I've read some things about Oprah where she realized she was eating things sometimes and sabotaging her diet because she wanted to make everybody else happy. It's hard when you aren't even sure anymore when you're acting and when you're being genuine. I've been there and done that.

In fact, my mom is so terribly heartbroken that I am not calling myself a Christian anymore and I really don't much care about that. But what she can't