I am an addict

emily1965 · 12-27-2004, 12:36 AM

I am an addict. I wil go along doing really well for awhile then BOOM! Big ole binge. But what I've come to realize is that it's not about the food at all. It's all about that feeling of euphoria I feel when my blood sugar shoots up. Sometimes the urge to cheat is just so strong and sometimes I will fight it for days. And it's never about the food. I'm never thinking "OMG, I want a donut so bad", I'm thinking "what can I eat that will do it". When I eat something bad, often times it's a food I don't even like, but something I know will make my blood sugar shoot up and give me "that feeling"....and then I'm off for days eating every little bit, just absolute crap that will keep me buzzed...cakes and cookies and pastries, crackers and toast....as many as 10,000 calories in a day. Today I ate an entire fruitcake along with everything else I stuffed in my face ---- 2 donuts, crackers, fried chicken, stuffing, corn, toast, eggnog, full sugar rootbeer, a grilled cheese sandwich). I'll eat crap until I feel sick and bloated and then an hour later when I feel like I've digested a little bit of it, I'll start stuffing more in until I'm sick and bloated all over again. After a few days, I no longer get any kind of "rush" from it and I'm able to go back to plan....for awhile. But I'm usually up 10-12 pounds in 2-3 days and even after the initial water loss of being back on plan, I've got a permanant 3-7 pounds back on. I've put on 30 pounds in the last 3-4 months and I'm miserable. I don't know what to do when the urge to cheat comes over me. I try staying on plan, I work out, I go do other things, but the urge can last for days on end.

I'm addicted. I'm scared. I don't know what to do.

puttchikins · 12-27-2004, 06:07 AM

Emily you are not alone!!!!!!!!!!! lots of us are addicts just hanging on by a thread...try and get an accountability buddy and join the group..If not send me a message I will answer...

SilkAsha · 12-27-2004, 12:49 PM

Emily -- I know what you are going through -- after losing 60 pounds and keeping it off for a year, I had a relapse in August of 2002 and have been in exactly the same cycle since.

The only thing that works for me is to put abstinence first. I have to let go of everything else until that is in place (and even then, it needs to be my #1 priority -- see relapse mentioned above) Certain foods (refined sugars, starches, overly processed carbs of any type) are for me what alcohol is for an alcoholic -- And this is true on a biochemical level, I believe.

Of course, there are many creepy underlying emotional issues for me, as there are for anyone who has spent a number of years addicted. It's just that I can't look at those issues rationally while I am "using".

Day 11 of abstinence!

sweet123 · 12-27-2004, 08:04 PM

You are not alone. I have no control over my eating and also eat until I am physically sick. I lost 57 pounds this past year but just gained back 40 pounds in the last few months. I keep promising myself that I will conquer my "demon" and just keep trying to make it through each day.

divadetention · 01-08-2005, 07:50 PM

Krispy Creme 2004

This is what my husbands calls me. I have always struggled with my weight like alot of you all. I lost 50 lbs over a year and half ago on Atkins. I was so proud of myself. Then my body started the BIG change of life. It seemed like I could not make a decision with out second guessing myself, let alone get back on Atkins.

So as of today I weigh 230. I went to the Dr. last week and the nurse started the scale at 300 to weigh me in. I just about cried. I have never weighed this much in my life. I'm 50 years old, and 5' 2" I've put on about 60 pounds this past year. I work everyday, and I'm so tired when I come home I can hardly go.

I got the treadmill out of the garage, and today I began to walk. My husband tells me he is just joking when he makes comments like the one above, and I tell him it hurts my feelings but I know the truth hurts. I went and cleaned out all the nasty carb stuff and threw them away. I went to the store and bought my introduction stuff. So that's a good start!! Right, and I'm back here reading and getting inspiration from you all. Thanks for listening to me. I really want to do this. I know I can. I just have to take one step at a time. Divadetention

aim in Fla*working · 01-11-2005, 08:34 AM

you have desribed me tooa T!!!! OMG!!!!
What is the group?? I want in.

brilliant100 · 01-11-2005, 11:22 AM

My eyes teared up reading these posts. Every time I binge it is to get a certain feeling. I only binge on legal food but that still is not ok, I have gained weight doing this. If I am lonely, I will eat until I feel really full then I dont feel so sad. This happens at least 5-6 days a week when I get home from work.

I plan to start working out this week (tonight) because it helps get rid of the sad feeling. But I still binge. It probably would not be so bad if I binged on plain lettuce or celery but thats not very fun.

To me eating is fun, it's my second favorite hobbie after talking on the phone. How can I change this???

aim in Fla*working · 01-11-2005, 11:29 AM

I wanna know too.

tammeli · 01-16-2005, 11:52 AM

I'm the same way too. I have been addicted to food my whole life. I binge once or twice a week (usually legal foods), but that doesn't mean I don't gain weight. I'm so tired of the constant battle. I just want to have a NORMAL appetite and not deal with the horrible emotions that come along the day after a binge!

nepa · 01-16-2005, 11:56 AM

I am also an addict!! Atkins works best for me because I do not understand moderation. I can not have 'just one'.it starts the ball rolling to ALL!! I am better off not having any of the sugar/flour foods. If some sort of support thread is started, I want in. I fight the demons everyday.

12-27-2004, 12:49 PM	#3
SilkAsha Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Albuquerque, Land of Entrapment Posts: 222 Gallery: SilkAsha	Emily -- I know what you are going through -- after losing 60 pounds and keeping it off for a year, I had a relapse in August of 2002 and have been in exactly the same cycle since. The only thing that works for me is to put abstinence first. I have to let go of everything else until that is in place (and even then, it needs to be my #1 priority -- see relapse mentioned above) Certain foods (refined sugars, starches, overly processed carbs of any type) are for me what alcohol is for an alcoholic -- And this is true on a biochemical level, I believe. Of course, there are many creepy underlying emotional issues for me, as there are for anyone who has spent a number of years addicted. It's just that I can't look at those issues rationally while I am "using". Day 11 of abstinence! __________________ Low carb since June 2000. And now that I've gained it back, I at least know what DOESN'T work You can fool your brain, but you can't fool your body

01-08-2005, 07:50 PM	#5
divadetention Junior LCF Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 1 Gallery: divadetention Stats: 230/225/150 WOE: Atkins Start Date: January 2005	Krispy Creme 2004 This is what my husbands calls me. I have always struggled with my weight like alot of you all. I lost 50 lbs over a year and half ago on Atkins. I was so proud of myself. Then my body started the BIG change of life. It seemed like I could not make a decision with out second guessing myself, let alone get back on Atkins. So as of today I weigh 230. I went to the Dr. last week and the nurse started the scale at 300 to weigh me in. I just about cried. I have never weighed this much in my life. I'm 50 years old, and 5' 2" I've put on about 60 pounds this past year. I work everyday, and I'm so tired when I come home I can hardly go. I got the treadmill out of the garage, and today I began to walk. My husband tells me he is just joking when he makes comments like the one above, and I tell him it hurts my feelings but I know the truth hurts. I went and cleaned out all the nasty carb stuff and threw them away. I went to the store and bought my introduction stuff. So that's a good start!! Right, and I'm back here reading and getting inspiration from you all. Thanks for listening to me. I really want to do this. I know I can. I just have to take one step at a time. Divadetention __________________

01-11-2005, 11:22 AM	#7
brilliant100 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Western, USA Posts: 2,444 Gallery: brilliant100 Stats: 266/194/169 WOE: Atkins/M&E Feast, Lower fat & Lower calorie Start Date: restarted 6/1/05 M/E, back on the wagon 8-21-07	My eyes teared up reading these posts. Every time I binge it is to get a certain feeling. I only binge on legal food but that still is not ok, I have gained weight doing this. If I am lonely, I will eat until I feel really full then I dont feel so sad. This happens at least 5-6 days a week when I get home from work. I plan to start working out this week (tonight) because it helps get rid of the sad feeling. But I still binge. It probably would not be so bad if I binged on plain lettuce or celery but thats not very fun. To me eating is fun, it's my second favorite hobbie after talking on the phone. How can I change this??? __________________ 8-21-07 'Jumpin back on the wagon' 194 169 goal by 9-22 Anniversay

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

12-27-2004, 12:36 AM	#1
emily1965 Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Portland Posts: 13,331 Gallery: emily1965 WOE: Atkins	I am an addict I am an addict. I wil go along doing really well for awhile then BOOM! Big ole binge. But what I've come to realize is that it's not about the food at all. It's all about that feeling of euphoria I feel when my blood sugar shoots up. Sometimes the urge to cheat is just so strong and sometimes I will fight it for days. And it's never about the food. I'm never thinking "OMG, I want a donut so bad", I'm thinking "what can I eat that will do it". When I eat something bad, often times it's a food I don't even like, but something I know will make my blood sugar shoot up and give me "that feeling"....and then I'm off for days eating every little bit, just absolute crap that will keep me buzzed...cakes and cookies and pastries, crackers and toast....as many as 10,000 calories in a day. Today I ate an entire fruitcake along with everything else I stuffed in my face ---- 2 donuts, crackers, fried chicken, stuffing, corn, toast, eggnog, full sugar rootbeer, a grilled cheese sandwich). I'll eat crap until I feel sick and bloated and then an hour later when I feel like I've digested a little bit of it, I'll start stuffing more in until I'm sick and bloated all over again. After a few days, I no longer get any kind of "rush" from it and I'm able to go back to plan....for awhile. But I'm usually up 10-12 pounds in 2-3 days and even after the initial water loss of being back on plan, I've got a permanant 3-7 pounds back on. I've put on 30 pounds in the last 3-4 months and I'm miserable. I don't know what to do when the urge to cheat comes over me. I try staying on plan, I work out, I go do other things, but the urge can last for days on end. I'm addicted. I'm scared. I don't know what to do. __________________ Lisa IRL Take pride in how far you have come and have faith in how far you can go. CIAC

12-27-2004, 06:07 AM	#2
puttchikins Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 992 Gallery: puttchikins	Emily you are not alone!!!!!!!!!!! lots of us are addicts just hanging on by a thread...try and get an accountability buddy and join the group..If not send me a message I will answer...

12-27-2004, 08:04 PM	#4
sweet123 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Vancouver BC Canada Posts: 1,432 Gallery: sweet123	You are not alone. I have no control over my eating and also eat until I am physically sick. I lost 57 pounds this past year but just gained back 40 pounds in the last few months. I keep promising myself that I will conquer my "demon" and just keep trying to make it through each day.

01-11-2005, 08:34 AM	#6
aim in Flaworking Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 8,900 Gallery: aim in Flaworking	you have desribed me tooa T!!!! OMG!!!! What is the group?? I want in.

01-11-2005, 11:29 AM	#8
aim in Flaworking Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 8,900 Gallery: aim in Flaworking	I wanna know too.

01-16-2005, 11:52 AM	#9
tammeli Senior LCF Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: New Jersey Posts: 637 Gallery: tammeli Stats: 150/141/135 size: 10/6/4 WOE: Semi-Low-Carb Start Date: Starting Over 1/2/09	I'm the same way too. I have been addicted to food my whole life. I binge once or twice a week (usually legal foods), but that doesn't mean I don't gain weight. I'm so tired of the constant battle. I just want to have a NORMAL appetite and not deal with the horrible emotions that come along the day after a binge!

01-16-2005, 11:56 AM	#10
nepa Senior LCF Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: PA Posts: 380 Gallery: nepa Start Date: 11/11/00	I am also an addict!! Atkins works best for me because I do not understand moderation. I can not have 'just one'.it starts the ball rolling to ALL!! I am better off not having any of the sugar/flour foods. If some sort of support thread is started, I want in. I fight the demons everyday.