Accountability - Month of July 2004

[MaryMary]

Hi everyone,

Just thought I would change this thread from a weekly to a monthly thread since it has been quieter. Hope you don't mind.

Well yesterday, I went to a mini family reunion at my in laws because one of my DH's sisters flew in from Alaska with her grandson. James, the grandson, who is 12, brought with him a 23-lb halibut that he caught fishing in the Pacific Ocean up there. DH's father cooked duck, someone else roast chicken, I brought turnip fries, steamed butternut squash, there was salad, coleslaw, wax beans, and corn on the cob & vegetarian ravioli's. So us low-carbers had plenty to pick from. I brought my scale and weighed out my portions. Not knowing what was going to be served, for the first time, I brought my back up meals in my cooler all weighed and measured. So all the anxiety and worry, etc. normally associated with going there, was absent. I was very proud of myself for taking care of me.

Today is day 3 of the morning prayer. I have to focus on it just as I did on the food in the beginning. It is always hard to change habits. My constitution wants to go back to its comfort zone. Avoidance and denial. Today I am trying to walk through.

Hope everyone has a nice day.

[doodles]

Good afternoon. I'm not winning the war, but am still winning some battles. Addiction is a hard thing to break.

[amadeus4313]

Hi Pam, Good to see you. You are so right about addiction getting its claws into us - and it is hard to break free.

Mary, a monthly thread does seem like a better idea.

I'm wondering if you have found that the morning prayer has brought an element of well-being into your life. I'm not sure if that is the word I want. I just that find if I set a certain amount of "dedicated" time to prayer, that feeling of peace tends to spill over into the rest of my day.


Take care,
MaryA

[MaryMary]

Mary A - Right now, I am doing the morning prayer more for habit than any other reason. When I do it, I know I did it and I trust that I have put my day in God's hands. But it is no different than weighing my food, in that, I just do it. I am not trying to analyze it. Just track it.

[doodles]

Hi MaryA, it's good to see you, too.
MaryMary, I found that I was more centered when I prayed the Rosary in the mornings....then I got a computer. I need to go back to the Rosary in the a.m. instead of spending an hour surfing the net before work.

[amadeus4313]

Pam, I pray the rosary on the mornings that I run. On the other mornings, I memorize the Gospel of the day. Helps to keep me centered.

[doodles]

Color me clueless. Thanks Mary A for redirecting me.

[amadeus4313]

Pam, you're no more clueless than any of us here. LOL
Some of us just have way too much time on our hands.

[MaryMary]

Will probably take a nap later.

This week has gone by quickly. Next Thursday, DH and I are traveling to Cheyenne Wyomng for Frontier Days. Needless to say, I am nervous about the trip. I don't like airplanes never have. But yesterday I bought a igloo cooler that has wheels so I can pack food for DH & I for three meals. Won't have to rely on airport or airline food. Will still get in my salads, and weighed & measured protein, etc. I do not plan on failing on this trip. We get back home on August 1st, my weigh in day. Is that incentive enough?

Can you believe I still have housework to do? It is called procrastination. I have been finding other things to do instead. I seem to jam everything in to one day and then am like a whirlawind getting it all done. Working under pressure should be my middle name. Perhaps, one day, balance will be my middle name but I kind of doubt it.

Hope you all have a good day.

[amadeus4313]

Mary, I find myself letting things go until I am also working under pressure. I work incredibly fast under those conditions, but I don't enjoy it. Have a great trip!

MaryA

[Mur]

Hi everyone just wanted to check in and see how you all are doing. Today I am so grateful for my recovery. I went to a meeting last night, and it seemed everyone who shared was speaking directly to me. I left the meeting feeling so uplifted.

I am off to exercise now, (one of the few things I’ll NEVER be addicted to). I hope you all have a great day!!!

[MaryMary]

Hi everyone,

Went to an AA meeting today with some friends. Although I am not attracted to alcohol, I associate with the craziness that being in the substance can do to one's life. There was a fellow who received a medallion to recognize 43 years of sobriety. He talked about what it was like at day 5 and the impression that a fellow at a meeting had on him. This fellow had a month. He was more interested in finding out how to stay sober from the young one than the one who had 20 years. Because...he just needed to stay away from it one day at a time and go to bed sober. I equate that to staying away from compulsive eating for just one day and going to bed abstinent, knowing that the compulsive feelings around food didn't win the battle today. He said we all just have one day.

Have a good one everyone, one day at a time.

[doodles]

MaryMary, I bought the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" and was struck by the similarities between alcohol and food addiction. You are so right.
Mur, it's great to see you over here. Sounds like you're doing great.
MaryA, how are you doing?
I'm on a string of three good days. Amazing how everything else seems to fall into place when food is in place.

[MaryMary]

Hi everyone,

Yes, it's true, I am getting a little nervous about the trip. I was talking with my son last night and told him there might be times when I would bring some food with me into the restaurant just to make sure they could serve me what I need. He was upset and said if you are going to do that then we won't be going to any restaurants. Then I said well even if I don't bring food into the restaurant, I am bringing my scale because I weigh and measure. He said he could live with that. So I guess I am sneaking in my food just in case, because I won't be caught short. My son is at the age where he is still into appearances, and I don't want to embarrass him, but I will take care of myself even if I have to eat my extras in the bathroom.

He told us that we are going to Pike's Peak on the 29th for a cave walk and some sort of ride on a train like gismo. I hope I don't get over tired. You know what can happen if I do.

Got to get going. Have a meeting at 9:30 am and a meeting with the dentist at noon.

Have a good day.

[Leenie]

Good Morning! I just stumbled across this part of the board the other day, I had no idea it was here. I wondered if any of you have The Life Recovery Bible? Here's a link you can take a look. Click below the picture of the Bible and you can see some of the inside:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...95000?v=glance

I was reading about Step 3 last night. Here's an excerpt:
~~~~~~~~~~~
"Everyone has a life-or-death decision to make. We have all been created with the supreme privilege of free will--the ability to choose. Even when we are in the bondage of our addictions, we sill have choices confronting us. When we are in recovery, we face the nagging lure of falling back into our addictions. The freedom to choose brings with it the burden of the consequences of our choices. These choices affect our life and the lives of our children. Free will is our blessing and our responsibility!

God spoke through Moses, saying, "Now listen! Today I am giving you a choice between prosperity and disaster, between life and death. I have commanded you today to love the Lord your God and to keep his commands, laws, and regulations by walking in his ways. If you do this, you wil live...and the Lord yoru God will bless you...But if your heart turns away and you refuse to listen,...then I warn you now that you will certainly be destroyed...Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, that you and your descendants might live! Choose to love the Lord your God and to obey him and commit yourself to him, for he is your life" (Deuteronomy 30:15-20).

Although we may feel out of control with respect to our addictions, we can choose to set our heart in the direction of life. We can choose to love God and begin to follow his program."
~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I began researching for my own recovery, I was also amazed at the similarities between alcohol and food addiction. Boy was I in denial for a long time.

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in here and share this information if anyone is interested.

Have a great Tuesday!

[amadeus4313]

Leenie! I went to the link that you posted and I have added that bible to my wish list.

This morning is a kind of new beginning for me. I discovered that food issues are not the only the only things I struggle with. I have been spending way too much time on the computer, and much of what I have been doing is not all that constructive. In fact, I haven't been here very much and this forum and the compulsive eating forum are the two places I am keeping as part of my computer time. I think my biggest challenge right now is focusing on getting rid of the chaos in my life - the clutter in my house and in my life and cutting down my computer time will definitely give me more time to do that.

Have a great day all,
MaryA

[MaryMary]

Hi everyone,

Well, tomorrow is the big day. You are probably sick of hearing me say this. I am anxious about flying. I have a list of things I want to pack. I figured it is just like writing my food down on paper. So I don't have to worry about forgetting something. Today, just for today, I am abstinent, weighing out my 3 meals a day with nothing in between but water or decaf tea, writing them down, and calling them into my sponsor. Abstinence and doing God's will are the most important things in my life today. Being abstinence allows me to be free to have a clear mind to tend to life's responsibilities, challenges and gifts.

A small miracle today when my DH went to work and they had a power outage, so the place closed down. He got to come home and get ready for the trip. His vacation started one day sooner. Yeh! He was so excited.

My miracle today is abstinence, free of the compulsion to overeat. Thank you God.

Have a great day. Probably won't be posting again for a couple days, provided my son has a computer.

[katrina40]

Hello My name is katrina My friends call me TRINA
I need help ..
This is very hard for me to write.
Iam 260........ and iam 40 years old.....Iam not good with computers. But I would like to find out how I can get a sponser and to join phone meetings.
I live in a small town in NH. I live with a great man.. I have 2 kids that are grown..I also have 2 grandchildren.
I am between jobs ...and I just finished up My divorce.. I was married for 19 years ..
I was a thin child but was married at 18 it was a abusive mariage. I was 97 lbs when I got pregnet.. and deliverd my daughter at 180.. from then on I kept getting bigger the most I have been is 300... but lost it all got down to 194...
I divoced my first husband after 1 year.I remarried to a great guy. had a son.. but was still big.
I was going to TOPS when I lost all my weight. But then we moved to a small town away from family and friends.. I gained it back..
At 40 I feel I have done all I was supose to do I raised my children I was a good wife I work as a aide.
But I want to take care of my self now.. The man Iam with is a good man and freind..And takes care of himself....
Please can anyone help me .. I want this weight off Roger thats his name loves to trvel and wants to take me to waltdisney world in OCT everything is set.. BUT I need to get into shape for it..I was going to curves for a year and I am limber I can work out But when he is not with me I feel lonely. I have friends dont get me wrong.. but they dont have my problem with weight..
Iam on my way to cuvrves now PLease help me
TRINA,,

[Jenn'sGonnaBeThin]

Thanks for posting that Leenie! I was not aware of that Bible. I work from my Life Application Bible, but that one would make a great addition. I find I learn a lot more when it is made more personal.

MaryMary- Is the greysheeter diet similar to the Kay Shephard lifestyle? I am contemplating a structured way of eating. I feel that it might be easier for me if I have rules for eating. That way my flawed thinking can't be involved! Has this helped you?

MaryA- Funny you should talk about the clutter in your house. I have a 3 month old and a 2 yo. My house was disasterous! It made me feel crazy all the time. I finally started organizing and de-cluttering. I know I will feel much better and on-track when my house is presentable.

[MaryMary]

Jenn - The greysheet is a food plan given to me by my sponsor in GreySheeters Anonymous. It is a structured low carb plan that has been around for about 30-35 years. It originated in Overeaters Anymous back in the early seventies. It is accompanied with a 12 step sponsor and based on the guidelines of Alcoholics Anonymous. Without a sponsor, it is just a diet and has no magic. With a sponsor and the 12 steps, it is a way of living.

I have never heard of Kay Sheppard so can't compare.

If you are interested in listening in to the phone bridge meetings of GSA, send me a PM so I can send you the phone number. The meetings are held seven days a week, at 7 am EST, 10 am ST, and 9 pm EST.

There are no dues or fees for GSA membership just a desire to stop eating compulsively.

[MaryMary]

Katrina, I sent you a PM.

[doodles]

MaryMary, have a great trip. You'll do amazing with your dedication.
Jenn, welcome!
Trina, welcome! Have you checked out the overeaters anonymous website? There are phone and online meetins available. I've never participated that way, but you might want to try it. Good luck.
MaryA, I struggle with clutter, too.
Leenie, I need to put that book on my wish list, too.
It's been a long day and I need to fix dinner. Have a good evening.
Pam

[Leenie]

Thank you for the welcome. I'm finding this Bible very helpful as I study through each of the 12 steps.

Jenn, if I had a 2 yr old and 3 mo old, my house would be a disaster too! Wait, I have 3 teenagers, what am I saying, it's still a disaster!

Trina, I'm hoping you got Mary's PM with the sponsor info. Spend some time reading all over this bulletin board. You'll make lots of friends and receive lots of support right here also!

MaryA, I've had to cut down a lot of my time on the computer in the past 6 months. I allow myself about an hour a day in the evenings to catch up on my reading and posting. An hour sounds like a long time but boy it sure goes by fast!

Mary, hope your trip is going well!

[katrina40]

Hello Everyone,

Well i did great today, I woke up feeling like I could do this and well its past supper and Iam still doing ok.
I watched my portions the most. I did nt exercise today but Iam going to take this one step at a time.
I relized last night that I need to keep busy or all I will do is eat I am out of work right now so it is harder on me,

I hate to addmite that to anyone , everyone thinks i should be glad to be out of work for a while , I called the OA the other night , it was good but I was very nerviose,
I will call again tonight..
thanks TRINA,

[Mur]

I just wanted to check in on this thread and see how everyone is doing. I am coming up on 5 months of abstinence, one day at a time, and feeling good today. Monday I get weighed and measured at Curves and I’m actually looking forward to it.

Jenn, Kay Shepherds food plan is very similar to OA. However, the support and working the steps in OA is where the recovery is. For ME, it is the only way I can do this.

Leenie, My Sponsor has that bible and has recommended it to me. I am just starting a new step study so I think I’m going to order it. Thanks for posting the link.

Trina, I am also a Mass transplant (although it’s been 17 years), also live in a small town in NH and also attend Curves!!! I am well acquainted with the chairperson for the OA hotline, and believe me she is nothing to be nervous about, she is an absolute gem. I see that Mary PM’d you. If she didn’t give you meeting locations and you would like to go one, feel free to PM me. There are a lot of strong meetings in the Nashua area if you are close enough.

Hi to Pam and Mary A and MaryMary if you get a chance to check in.

I hope everyone is having a great day.

[amadeus4313]

Good morning, Patti,

I'm checking in briefly this morning to say (in the words of MaryMary) food is in its place. I have a lot of stuff to do today, hopefully I will have more time to check in next week.

Take care,
MaryA

[MaryMary]

Hi everyone,

Arrived safe and sound. The weather has been rainy since we arrived and have been wearing winter jackets. Hopefully, we will see the sun today.

Went to a Dierks Benson and George Strait concert in the SRO section right in front of the stage, where for the first time in my life, I stook for 5 straight hours in the pouring rain, with 2 breaks to the johnnies where I could rest my bum for a minute or two. I had to pray for the strength to make it because my back, legs and shoulders were aching so badly. I did it for love (of my son). The place was packed. The music was great but I don't know much about country music. I am surprised by the numbers of people that turn out for concerts in such inclement weather. This was the first of seven concerts that George Strait is doing before he retires. So it was a big deal to my son. He asked me if I had ever been to a concert before. I said when I was 18 I had really good seats up front at a Beach Boys concert. He got a kick out of that.

Yesterday we were in a parade for Frontier Days in the float for Saturn of Cheyenne sitting in a uncovered wagon driven by horses with rain coming down.

We have been out to dinner 3 times since we arrived. I brought my scale each time. Asked for extra broccoli or salad when necessary. I survived.

I miss you guys. I may not be able to get on very often because although he has a computer, it is connected to a wireless system and I need his cell phone to connect. He has his cell phone when he is working. But I am thinking of you.

Take care.