Okay, here goes... (sorry, long)

DoingItMyWay · 07-01-2004, 06:42 AM

I can't believe I am going to do this but I have to do something to regain control of my life. I am hoping by writing all this stuff down, it will help me put it in perspective and hopefully, keep me accountable. Let me also say that although I do not have many posts, I am not a troll. I have been lurking for probably at least a year.

Here's where I'm at... the bottom line is that I am not happy at all with my life, I could cry at any time, I am drinking way too much and eating all the wrong stuff. It has to stop now and today is the first day. Do I have addictions? I don't think so but I also don't think 'naming my issues' like that really matters. It is what it is and I have to learn to control my behavior. I also have to learn to put myself first (perhaps my biggest problem).

It has gotten to the point where my first thought in the morning is UGH! I have 18 hours to fill before I can go to bed. Then when it comes to bedtime, I think OMG, I hope I can sleep tonight (which of course, keeps me up). Definately not the way I should be living.

At first, I was going to write down all my excuses ... a gay husband, a VERY strong willed 12 year old son, a condescending, negative husband, a husband that has been unemployed for 7 months and sits on his butt all day (BTW, he holds a masters from MIT so he shouldn't be a slouch)... but you know what, they really are just excuses. Hmmm... having written that, I guess I have some issues with my husband huh? The truth of the matter is, I probably would have left him 12 years ago when he told me he was gay if I weren't so concerned about the kids and the financial implications (and the sense of failure). Maybe it is time to do some soul searching and revisit that decision.

Well, I don't want to make this into a pity party (not that I haven't already

) I just wanted to impose on you nice folks to help me get through today. My promise to myself is that I will keep myself busy today doing things with my son (to get me out of the house), I will try to eat three healthy meals, and I will NOT have a drink. I know I can do this if I want it bad enough and I think/hope I have hit bottom so I should want it bad enough.

Sorry for imposing on you guys but thanks in advance for any support you can give to that will help me make it through the day.
-K.

Tall_Texan · 07-01-2004, 09:44 AM

You are off to a good start by identifying your issues and wanting to work on them. There are several good challenges over on the challenge board that deal with some of the issues you addressed. I would recommend that you read through some of the challenge threads and see if there are any that would help. The folks on the challenge board are wonderful and provide a lot of support for one another. Good luck to you - you sound like you are ready to take charge and make positive changes!!

Stephenie · 07-01-2004, 09:50 AM

my husband hasnt worked for a little over a year, we have 2 young children, one thing it has taught me is I dont need him, I support 4 people on 7.50 an hour, and we have what we need.
do what is best for you and your child, sooner or later your kid will find out hes gay...good luck to the both of you. your on the right path

Mur · 07-01-2004, 10:17 AM

It sounds like you have some depression. Be warned, once you stop the food and alcohol, the feelings will probably intensify because you aren’t medicating them. The good news is that the only way out is through and there is hope on the other side and you’ve already taken the first step.

When I first put down the food, (I am 4 months abstinent), things started coming up. By going to meetings, talking to my sponsor and others in OA I dealt with them one at a time, one day at a time. If you don’t want to go to an OA meeting, continue to post here or feel free to pm me.

thindreams2reality · 07-01-2004, 10:21 AM

You sound like you are on the right track.

Although, I used to drink a lot, too,

I don't want to PREACH to you about what would be the next best steps for you to take.

You have to do what YOU think is best for you and your family. I just wanted to stop in to let you know that we are here for you. Post often and know that you aren't alone. We're sending lots of hugs and prayers your way. You will get through this!!!

DoingItMyWay · 07-02-2004, 06:37 AM

I appreciate all the advice and support. Actually, yesterday was a pretty good day. I walked 3.5 miles, I slept reasonably well (Although I took a 1/4 dose of Tylenol PM), I did a good job of putting myself first and I ate 3 good meals. Also, no alcohol.

Today's a new day and I am still committed. I can't tackle all the problems at once. For now, I am going to concentrate on feeling better physically and getting my mental state to a point where I can sleep 7-8 hours without aid. After I reach those goals realiably, I'll figure out what to tackle next. I need to do this one step at a time or I know I well get overwhelmed and go into a downward spiral.

Mur: "the only way out is through it". You're right. I try to keep reminding myself of this.

Again, thanks for your support.

ohmystarz · 07-12-2004, 12:01 AM

I don't have any advice, but just wanted to offer a hug and let you know that you are included in my prayers.

TamInAz · 07-31-2004, 01:56 AM

Dear "DoingItMyWay", How are you doing? Are You okay?

I just came back to this wonderful board tonight/this morning because I've made some serious mistakes in my low carb lifestyle due to emotional/family/addiction issues.

Very few get this down perfect the first, second, third, ECT, time through, especially when dealing w/ extraneous issues.

Would love to hear from you!

Blessings,

07-01-2004, 06:42 AM	#1
DoingItMyWay MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Mass. Posts: 1,477 Gallery: DoingItMyWay Stats: 258/258/145 Start Date: Jan. 2005	Okay, here goes... (sorry, long) I can't believe I am going to do this but I have to do something to regain control of my life. I am hoping by writing all this stuff down, it will help me put it in perspective and hopefully, keep me accountable. Let me also say that although I do not have many posts, I am not a troll. I have been lurking for probably at least a year. Here's where I'm at... the bottom line is that I am not happy at all with my life, I could cry at any time, I am drinking way too much and eating all the wrong stuff. It has to stop now and today is the first day. Do I have addictions? I don't think so but I also don't think 'naming my issues' like that really matters. It is what it is and I have to learn to control my behavior. I also have to learn to put myself first (perhaps my biggest problem). It has gotten to the point where my first thought in the morning is UGH! I have 18 hours to fill before I can go to bed. Then when it comes to bedtime, I think OMG, I hope I can sleep tonight (which of course, keeps me up). Definately not the way I should be living. At first, I was going to write down all my excuses ... a gay husband, a VERY strong willed 12 year old son, a condescending, negative husband, a husband that has been unemployed for 7 months and sits on his butt all day (BTW, he holds a masters from MIT so he shouldn't be a slouch)... but you know what, they really are just excuses. Hmmm... having written that, I guess I have some issues with my husband huh? The truth of the matter is, I probably would have left him 12 years ago when he told me he was gay if I weren't so concerned about the kids and the financial implications (and the sense of failure). Maybe it is time to do some soul searching and revisit that decision. Well, I don't want to make this into a pity party (not that I haven't already ) I just wanted to impose on you nice folks to help me get through today. My promise to myself is that I will keep myself busy today doing things with my son (to get me out of the house), I will try to eat three healthy meals, and I will NOT have a drink. I know I can do this if I want it bad enough and I think/hope I have hit bottom so I should want it bad enough. Sorry for imposing on you guys but thanks in advance for any support you can give to that will help me make it through the day. -K.

07-01-2004, 10:17 AM	#4
Mur Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: NH Posts: 899 Gallery: Mur WOE: 4 Weighed and measured meals nothing in between.	It sounds like you have some depression. Be warned, once you stop the food and alcohol, the feelings will probably intensify because you aren’t medicating them. The good news is that the only way out is through and there is hope on the other side and you’ve already taken the first step. When I first put down the food, (I am 4 months abstinent), things started coming up. By going to meetings, talking to my sponsor and others in OA I dealt with them one at a time, one day at a time. If you don’t want to go to an OA meeting, continue to post here or feel free to pm me. __________________ Mur (Patti)

07-02-2004, 06:37 AM	#6
DoingItMyWay MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Mass. Posts: 1,477 Gallery: DoingItMyWay Stats: 258/258/145 Start Date: Jan. 2005	Thanks everyone I appreciate all the advice and support. Actually, yesterday was a pretty good day. I walked 3.5 miles, I slept reasonably well (Although I took a 1/4 dose of Tylenol PM), I did a good job of putting myself first and I ate 3 good meals. Also, no alcohol. Today's a new day and I am still committed. I can't tackle all the problems at once. For now, I am going to concentrate on feeling better physically and getting my mental state to a point where I can sleep 7-8 hours without aid. After I reach those goals realiably, I'll figure out what to tackle next. I need to do this one step at a time or I know I well get overwhelmed and go into a downward spiral. Mur: "the only way out is through it". You're right. I try to keep reminding myself of this. Again, thanks for your support.

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07-01-2004, 09:44 AM	#2
Tall_Texan MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Texas (but then you knew that) Posts: 2,595 Gallery: Tall_Texan Stats: 185/160 (now 172-oops)/150 WOE: All Natural - lower carb Start Date: 6/01/03	You are off to a good start by identifying your issues and wanting to work on them. There are several good challenges over on the challenge board that deal with some of the issues you addressed. I would recommend that you read through some of the challenge threads and see if there are any that would help. The folks on the challenge board are wonderful and provide a lot of support for one another. Good luck to you - you sound like you are ready to take charge and make positive changes!!

07-01-2004, 09:50 AM	#3
Stephenie Junior LCF Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: montanna Posts: 24 Gallery: Stephenie Stats: 150/125 WOE: Adkins Start Date: november, 2004	my husband hasnt worked for a little over a year, we have 2 young children, one thing it has taught me is I dont need him, I support 4 people on 7.50 an hour, and we have what we need. do what is best for you and your child, sooner or later your kid will find out hes gay...good luck to the both of you. your on the right path

07-01-2004, 10:21 AM	#5
thindreams2reality MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 1,748 Gallery: thindreams2reality	You sound like you are on the right track. Although, I used to drink a lot, too, I don't want to PREACH to you about what would be the next best steps for you to take. You have to do what YOU think is best for you and your family. I just wanted to stop in to let you know that we are here for you. Post often and know that you aren't alone. We're sending lots of hugs and prayers your way. You will get through this!!!

07-12-2004, 12:01 AM	#7
ohmystarz MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: In A State of Complete Denial--California Posts: 1,036 Gallery: ohmystarz Stats: Three and a half years SMOKE FREE! (very amazing!) WOE: The I quit smoking and gained a ton of weight diet Start Date: ReInduction-Atkins--Again...NEVER - NEVER GIVE UP!	I don't have any advice, but just wanted to offer a hug and let you know that you are included in my prayers.

07-31-2004, 01:56 AM	#8
TamInAz Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 145 Gallery: TamInAz	Dear "DoingItMyWay", How are you doing? Are You okay? I just came back to this wonderful board tonight/this morning because I've made some serious mistakes in my low carb lifestyle due to emotional/family/addiction issues. Very few get this down perfect the first, second, third, ECT, time through, especially when dealing w/ extraneous issues. Would love to hear from you! Blessings,