Turning 40

[BeThin]

I am turning 40 in September..... I am so depressed over this... I feel like half of my life is gone and I have done nothing.... When I turned 30 it did not bother me at all but I just cant seem to get over the fact that I am turning 40....

I am a stay at home mom, who ref soccer, homeschools, active in all the kids activities, and Church...


In 2 or 3 years even the kids wont be here. They will be in college, or married, who know.... But what will I do then?????? My college education is not worth the paper it is wrote on.... I have not worked in 16 years.

I told my DH it really upset me to know that I am overweight, and that I am turning 40... He thinks I am being Silly.... I feel like I have empty next problems already but my nest is still full....

Has anyone else gone through this????? What did you do to get over it????

[junkfoodmonkey]

Whaddya mean, you've done nothing? You've raised and educated your children. You're active in your community, making a real difference to people.

Maybe when the kids leave home you might want to work, but hell, work is overrated. You slave away and someone else gets most of the benefit. If you don't have to work, and don't especially feel the need to, then don't. Do voluntary work in your community and with your church. That's likely to be more rewarding anyway.

And you can do all those things you don't have time for now. Exercise more. Read more. Study something that really interests you. Take up a new hobby. Write a book. The world's your oyster, girl.

[Ruffin]

I'm 44. I remember dreading turning 40. But you know what? Turns out it was just another day, and I was not as upset as I thought I'd be.

Try not to think about it. Or, if you can't help it, just keep telling yourself "it's just another day, it's just another day". Think of all you've accomplished in your 40 years, and what you've yet to accomplish. You're young enough yet to go back to school if you want, and if you start now, you'll hopefully be done by the time the kids are out, then you'll be so busy starting a new career you won't have time to worry about having an empty nest.

I wish you the best, whatever you do!

[INTOaNEWT]

I am almost 46. I absolutely love being in my 40s and wouldnt go backwards in age if I could.

We have 6 kids, 5 of them are grown and out of the house...4 more years until the youngest is off to college. So far we have 8 wonderful grandkids. I love babies, but its sooo nice to give them back when you are done with them!

I now have way more time to do things for ME. Shortly after I turned 40, I realized one of my lifelong dreams...I got a catering license. I now own and operate an outdoor catering company. I spend numerous days a week doing all the food for company bbq's and catering food for private parties and school events. I work when I want to, and turn down jobs If I am too busy making travel plans etc.

Life gets better and better when you get older

[Tooter]

You have not worked in 16 years? I beg to differ! Sounds like you have had more then one job and wore many hats during those 16 years!! You are obviously someone who is organized, hard working and can do many things at one time. If you went out in the "Paid" workforce, you have alot of skills and work ethics that could really benefit a company. Honey, you need to "Sell" yourself and stop selling yourself Short!! You have ALOT to offer!

The 40's are GREAT!! Yep, I had to get "over" that number, but I really like this time of my life better then any other time. I'm 45 and soon to be 46.

I think what is also bothering you is the "Change" that is taking place. You have always put everyone else first (SAHM's tend to do this...I was one myself). It's like, what do I DO now? I have wasted my life. No, you haven't. Life is just taking a change where Now you really can focus on yourself, instead of everyone else all the time. I think you are "Feeling" this and being Overly critical and not seeing the "entire Picture". That's normal...I also did that. Don't worry, you will come back into a better perspective soon.
Then you'll start making changes and really start to enjoy your life, as never before.

40 is still young, but you have all this wisdom and life experience now. Things that used to bother you...You realize are no big deal, and let them go. You get more relaxed and can smell the roses better and more often.

The scary thing is that we DO have time to work on ourselves now. It's like..."Now What"? "I have always been on the back burner"!!!

Take it one step at a time. Life isn't "over", In fact...It's just beginning. We are afraid of "Change" and hate to let go of the familiar. Once you get over that, you will start to see the benefits and freedom of this "change".

You are not crazy and you are not being silly. You are just feeling the "growing pains" of change. Once you go through that, you will start to be able to See and enjoy the new opportunities in your life.

[BeThin]

Thanks everyone... You really know how to make a person feel better. I thought I was the only one.

I love these boards. Your ladies are amazing.

[finallylowcarb]

I turned 40 6 months after my 4th child was born. I have to say that I am not bothered at all by the number. Most days I still feel like I am a young 20-something, I just make better choices now.

It looks like you have made progress in your weight loss journey. You should be proud of yourself! I remember before I found out that I was pg with #4 (he was not exactly planned), my plan was to be in the best physical shape of my life when I turned 40. I was on a good exercise program, although my eating habits were not all that great. When I tested positive on Mother's day, I did feel a bit of dissapointment as I knew there was no way I would make my goal. But, I just got over it and made my new goal that the year I turned 40, I would get into the best physical shape of my life. I'm still not there yet, but I am close! I have a little over 2 months before I hit the big 41.....and I will meet my goal!!

You have accomplished a lot in your life. Raising kids is the hardest jobs in the world.....but also the most rewarding! You are doing so much for every one esle right now, but soon it will be your time to focus more on yourself. Think about the books you will be able to read, the music you will be able to listen to, the time you will have to exercise and take care of yourself!

Sometime around your birthday, do something very nice for yourself....a massage, manicure, pedicure etc. Pamper yourself and reward yourself! You deserve it! I believe the 40's are fantastic and you have a lot to look forward to!

[Missalissa]

40 was my turning point. I woke up in March of last year and said, you know, I'm going to be 40 in May and I want to look as fabulous as I feel. That was the beginning of my Atkins journey.

I knew I had accomplished some great things in my lifetime. A good marriage, great kid, and lots of activities through my church and community. They may not amount to a hill of beans to anyone else, but they were mine and I was proud of them. I know I have made a difference, no matter how insignificant they may seem to me.

You've got much to be proud of chickie! Now stand up and shout it to the world!!!

[JennyJ]

I will be turning 39 in a few months and I was a SAHM for 10 years. Now I work from home and I look back on that time with such fond memories. I am so grateful I was able to be with my kids every single day for every single milestone. I absolutely know it was work but I loved every minute of it. At 40 you're getting to a new milestone in YOUR life ~ kids are grown and your hard work is finished. The transition of taking care of others to taking care of yourself feels foreign. Life changes aren't easy, but once you settle in, I bet you are going to really enjoy exploring what it's like to focus on your own interests for a change. At least that's what I keep telling myself! I feel like I'm rambling, but I wanted you to know you're not alone!

[FloridaShell]

I love being in my 40's! I'll be 42 in July. I feel better now as when I was in my 20's. It will pass!

[mimom3]

I am 48 and I remember sort of dreading turning 40.

BUT...my 40's have been great! I found LC and feel wonderful. I love it that my kids are growing up and I have been here at home for them the whole time.

I have found things that I love to do...scrapbooking, exercising, reading, volunteering within my community, going to concerts (this is my guilty pleasure!)...and I wouldn't change a thing about my life. I work very, very part time at my youngest daughter's school which is fun, but it's just something extra that I do and I wouldn't feel bad quitting at any time.

Enjoy this time! The 40's are FABULOUS!!!

[sappl38220]

I am 42 and I really love it, I've earned these years. I just went back to work part time and it's great. The saying that life begins at 40 is true, it's a time in life to really enjoy the things you are doing without a lot of the stresses.

[jgw]

I'm 42 and will be 43 in June. I love this time of my life. Thank God!

[KevetS]

I turned 50 a few weeks ago. And at 50 I am in the best physical shape of my adult life. 6'2" and 178 pounds. I make a good living, so in the "young, thin and rich" trifecta I hit two, anyway.

But 50 hit me hard, nonetheless. I am undeniably well into my middle age.

And this is also the year we are becoming empty nesters. So I worry about my wife more than me - I have a full time job to keep me busy. Raising the kids has been her main focus.

So we're just trying to enter this next stage as well prepared as possible. We both don't drink, are thin and in shape and are in good financial shape. We're looking to move to both downsize as well as cut down on my commuting time. We plan to do more together - maybe play bridge or take yoga classes together. My wife works part time, and could go back full time, but will probably concentrate more on community activities.

So, don't be too bummed. It's inevitable (and from where I sit, 40 looks great!). Just have a plan of action. There may be downsides to aging, but there are upsides too. You'll get to focus more on yourself and your spouse, and you can always look forward to grandchildren.

[mamagiff]

When I was in my 20's, my Grandma told me that the best years of a woman's life are the 40's! You are still young enough to really enjoy life but your kids are old enough to not need constant attention. Of course many women are having babies later in their lives now so th ekid part might not hold true but I still believe that the 40's are the best years! You really become centered within yourself.

I didn't have a problem with turning 40 and I was ok with 50 but I'm not so sure when the 60th birthday rolls around how I will react - just happy to be alive?!

[JerseyGirl1969]

Agree with so much above. Just adding:

I turn 40 next year (summer also). It's what motivated me to get this right. I read somewhere "I spent the first half of my life fat, I wanted to spend the second have fit". Fit by 40 is my mantra.

Use it as a rebirth for who you want to be and what you want to do. Make it a real "birth" day! KWIM?

[sexyfatchick]

I'm 43. Let me tell you, you will LOVE your 40s!!!!

There is calmness that comes with age--an acceptance and appreciation for all the good things in your life...

Good stuff.

[VAmomof2]

42 here and totally happy. One thing I did at 39 was get in shape and begin to eat right. Eating lc and exercising has made me feel better and stronger now at 42 than I did at 22. I have also recently carved some time out to do volunteer work with my eldest DD. Both my DDs will be in college in 4 years and now I am looking forward to getting a little free time so that I can continue volunteering and give back to my community.

[2AZwildcats]

I was pretty depressed about turning 40. I will be 43 in a month and I am loving it! I am in the best shape of my adulthood (a project I just started on THIS YEAR), happily married for 20 years and my youngest graduates HS next month (and off to college in Aug). While I vacilate between excitement and SADNESS at finishing chapter in my life, I am very happy to be right where I am. I thought my 30s were great, but my 40s are just as awsome, but in a different way. That said, I am sure I will be depressed at 50, then soon realize life is fantastic there too!

[Charski]

I looked forward to my 40th birthday! I did feel like it was a "new beginning" - I was recently divorced, never had kids, never went to college - but just felt everything was ready to fall into place in the RIGHT way - and it did!

Look at things with a positive mindset as much as possible. Realize that you can't change some things, so you learn to accept - like aging gracefully!

I am rapidly approaching 55 (in October) and I'm having the time of my life! I look and feel better than I did in my late 30's (had been overweight for years) and I am retired now, so I help my Mom out (she's 77) and garden, read, play my new Wii (!!) and generally go about the business of enjoying LIFE. The alternative isn't appealing so you may as well grin and enjoy it!

[homestretch]

BeThin I posted a similar statement a few weeks ago. I turned 39 in February and it hit me like a ton of lead bricks! I had never even thought about age but all of a sudden it is a big deal. I have 3 children, one is in college, one in high school and one is in 3rd grade. I have worked or went to college almost my entire adult life but I recently quit my job to work in our business and just be with the kids. It may seem odd to take time off now to be with the kids but they are more demanding now than when they were little since they are involved in sports, dance, etc. I am having a very hard time adjusting to all of the changes but I know I will get through it. My 20's were like most people's full of uncertainty and trying to figure out who I was. My 30's were marked with the death of my mother and my nephew so I cannot say it was a great decade. I can only hope my 40's will be wonderful once I get through the dread of the BIG 4-0!

[NuttyNeeta]

Oh man I'll be the big 40 on May 27. I know exactly what you mean too. When I hit 30, I said I'd lose weight and make up for everything I didn't do in my 20's. Didn't happen. Now that I'm turning 40, I plan to live my life like I should have in my 30's...and enjoy each moment.

What's really gonna happen is I'm going to wake up, realize what day it is DESPITE the fact I've scrached that day off my calendar, toss the covers back OVER my head and sleep through the day. That way, on the 28th, I won't have had one (that i can remember anyway haha) and I'll still be 39.

hey, it's my fantasy.

[BeThin]

Sometimes I think I should throw myself a big birthday party.....

I wonder if it would make me feel better or worst.

[Jennyl]

I remember being worried before my 40th birthday. Now if I worry about my age it's about turning 50!!

[LoraJR72]

Isn't 40's the new 30's anyway? You've got a whole life ahead of you. Age is just a number, it is how you feel on the inside that counts. I'm 35 years old and I feel and look younger than my age! I want this great feeling to last a long long time.

[Star123]

Hey, I'm 45!!! and it doesn't bother me at all. When I turned 40, my family took me out for a birthday bash, and yes I was feeling the same thing you're feeling. But, the next day the shock of it was over. I knew I was 40 and it wasn't a big deal!!! I still felt like I was 30ish. It not how old you are, but how young you feel inside that counts.

Those feelings will pass and you will be okay. I'm older, but I'm not dreading it but making the best of what life is giving me. I'm thankful that I have my limbs, that I'm fairly healthy, have friends and family that love me for who I am. I'm not going to ruin my time on this earth because I'm overweight and in my 40's. That would be silly!!!

Have a great day!!!